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Old 01-19-2015, 03:11 PM
 
1,823 posts, read 2,845,640 times
Reputation: 2831

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I had a date this weekend that was probably the biggest dud of a date I've ever been on. Let me tell the men something that will help you get to the second date:

MAKE HER FEEL COMFORTABLE. Ask questions about her. Make an effort to put her at ease. Act interested.

Yes, you might be shy or horribly nervous. Maybe your social skills aren't that great. But a first date is the time to put these shortcomings aside and make an effort to make HER feel special. The more you get stuck in yourself, paralyzed by your insecurities, the less your date is going to feel welcome, safe, and wanted in your presence. She doesn't know that you're nervous - all she knows is that you seem uncomfortable and can't get out of your own head enough to focus on her needs.

Make it a point to practice selflessness on your next date. Think along the lines of, "How can I make this night great for HER? How can I show her that she is special to me?" THAT is the way to a woman's heart.

Simple, but you'd be surprised how many guys don't get this.
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Old 01-19-2015, 03:14 PM
 
Location: New Zealand and Australia
7,454 posts, read 13,426,017 times
Reputation: 7783
Why do you assume you were special to him? or he was into you he may not have been. Can't pretend.
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Old 01-19-2015, 03:15 PM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,901 posts, read 42,697,277 times
Reputation: 42769
This thread is going to be awesome. I can tell.
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Old 01-19-2015, 03:15 PM
 
1,823 posts, read 2,845,640 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dave nz View Post
Why do you assme you were special to him? you may not have been.
Because he told me so after I told him that I didn't feel we had any chemistry.
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Old 01-19-2015, 03:16 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,210 posts, read 107,883,295 times
Reputation: 116153
Quote:
Originally Posted by stava View Post
I had a date this weekend that was probably the biggest dud of a date I've ever been on. Let me tell the men something that will help you get to the second date:

MAKE HER FEEL COMFORTABLE. Ask questions about her. Make an effort to put her at ease. Act interested.

Yes, you might be shy or horribly nervous. Maybe your social skills aren't that great. But a first date is the time to put these shortcomings aside and make an effort to make HER feel special. The more you get stuck in yourself, paralyzed by your insecurities, the less your date is going to feel welcome, safe, and wanted in your presence. She doesn't know that you're nervous - all she knows is that you seem uncomfortable and can't get out of your own head enough to focus on her needs.

Make it a point to practice selflessness on your next date. Think along the lines of, "How can I make this night great for HER? How can I show her that she is special to me?" THAT is the way to a woman's heart.

Simple, but you'd be surprised how many guys don't get this.
Yeah, if you're so lacking in confidence you can barely speak, or alternatively, you run on and on about yourself, you're not ready to be dating yet.
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Old 01-19-2015, 03:16 PM
 
Location: In a place beyond human comprehension
8,923 posts, read 7,720,329 times
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Or just talk to her like a normal person.

I mean...that works too.
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Old 01-19-2015, 03:17 PM
 
Location: New Zealand and Australia
7,454 posts, read 13,426,017 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stava View Post
Because he told me so after I told him that I didn't feel we had any chemistry.
Some guys keep their emotions in check, esp early! Deal with it.
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Old 01-19-2015, 03:17 PM
 
Location: Richmond VA
6,885 posts, read 7,889,113 times
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Stava, It works both ways: I take responsibility for making guys feel welcome, safe, and wanted in my presence. I don't ever want a guy to go home feeling WORSE about him self than he already did, even if he isn't someone I want to see again. If he is feeling uncomfortable, I make an effort to smooth out the conversation.

Last edited by Stagemomma; 01-19-2015 at 03:42 PM..
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Old 01-19-2015, 03:18 PM
 
Location: Where the mountains touch the sky
6,756 posts, read 8,579,743 times
Reputation: 14969
“Sincerity - if you can fake that, you've got it made.”


George Burns
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Old 01-19-2015, 03:19 PM
 
1,823 posts, read 2,845,640 times
Reputation: 2831
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stagemomma View Post
Stava, It works both ways: I take responsibility for making guys feel welcome, safe, and wanted in your presence. I don't ever want a guy to go home feeling WORSE about him self than he already did, even if he isn't someone I want to see again.
I'm all for that. The woman shouldn't act aloof or off-putting either. But moreso than the woman, the guy should be making an effort to make sure she's having a good time.
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