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Old 01-20-2015, 12:44 PM
1 posts, read 985 times
Reputation: 10


So, I've been seeing this guy for about 3 months now. To preface I'm a 28 year old female, and he is 31. We crossed paths at a tattoo shop about a year ago and never forgot each others faces. He ran across my online dating profile and sent a sweet message about not forget a beautiful face or tattoo.. needless to say we went on a date a few days later. We have had amazing chemistry, both mentally and sexually. When we are together things are absolutely wonderful. But, when we are apart we don't talk a whole lot. We see each other about once a week and talk a few days out of the week. I noticed about a month in to the relationship he took his online dating profile down, and I do so as well a bit later. However, no talk of being monogamous has happened. We have continued seeing each other with no issues, but since I have returned back from a 2 week vacation things have seemed a little.. distant.

A few days ago I decided to check and see if his profile was down and found that it was back up and he had been recently active. I was a bit crushed. I am one that finds it difficult to share feelings and emotions and have been trying to figure out the best way to handle this. I actually like this guy, for the first time in ages I am interested in building a relationship. I'm also fearful of pushing him away.

I have a bit about just continuing as myself and continuing to date. If he is clearly still looking around, so should I. So, I restored my online profile. I still wonder.. should I ask if he is actively dating others? Do I mention that I would like to try a monogamous relationship? Should I just move forward with turning my account back on and continue to date others, just waiting to see what happens?

Any advice on keeping it from fizzling?

Thanks for the help
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Old 01-20-2015, 12:59 PM
9,415 posts, read 11,274,306 times
Reputation: 20186
I'm not a wait and see type so I would ask him. Anything we say here will just be someone's opinion. You won't get any real answer until you actually speak with the guy about his feelings and his goals for the future of your relationship.
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Old 01-20-2015, 01:12 PM
6,813 posts, read 3,129,492 times
Reputation: 2373
Live your life. Put this in a box. (dear al gore i hate you for ruining this)

Put your profile up, and go out with friends. Live your life. The box will rattle or not, and opening it will be up to you.

Some times people show themselves to you in very subtle ways. You simply have to pay attention.
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Old 01-20-2015, 01:17 PM
8,224 posts, read 6,549,560 times
Reputation: 8509
Time to discuss exclusivity.

Until you address this you can consider your relationship with this man open.
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Old 01-20-2015, 03:30 PM
20 posts, read 13,634 times
Reputation: 35
Communication is key, so like everyone else said, you need to talk him. Otherwise you're in the dark and guessing and telling yourself 'stories' about what things mean. Find out exactly what they mean.
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Old 01-20-2015, 03:39 PM
Location: Tennessee
16,227 posts, read 21,981,509 times
Reputation: 23996
I agree with others. Come out and ask him.
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Old 01-20-2015, 03:46 PM
Location: On the corner of Grey Street
6,056 posts, read 7,954,291 times
Reputation: 11449
I've been in this situation before and it really sucks. It is my personal opinion if a guy is really crazy for you and interested in being in a relationship he is going to want to see you more than once a week and talk here and there. And he will probably mention not dating others because the last thing he wants is for you to meet someone else. But...who knows. Maybe he was hoping you would bring it up? Do you both initiate conversations and dates?

I think if you have to wonder where you stand with someone, then the answer probably isn't going to be what you want to hear. At this point though it's been 3 months...things seem to be fizzling out, so what do you have to lose by asking him what is going on and what he is looking for? At least you'll have an answer and you'll know what to do next.

As much as I hate being the one who has to bring up stuff like this, sometimes it is better to just bring it up and get an answer so you can move on one way or another.
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Old 01-20-2015, 05:01 PM
Location: Leaving fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada
3,836 posts, read 6,606,791 times
Reputation: 7254
Did something happen during your vacation? Did you spend it together?
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Old 01-20-2015, 07:49 PM
Location: PANAMA
1,424 posts, read 1,006,375 times
Reputation: 1146
Go with the flow and don't rush things...usually people distant need some time on their own to figure things out. You cannot pressure them...you cannot force them into anything.

If it's for you...he will come look up for you. Believe me, men are the hunters, give the guy some "air" to do the pursuing, but don't wait by the phone either.
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Old 01-21-2015, 05:39 AM
Location: Central IL
13,349 posts, read 7,121,412 times
Reputation: 31038
Seems immature and impulsive to just REACT to what you THINK he's doing before even asking.

How do actually feel about him and the relationship? How about letting him know clearly what you like about him and what you want? Maybe he's sensing that YOU aren't into HIM? Set him straight and go from there.
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