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Old 01-21-2015, 05:45 PM
 
6,908 posts, read 3,740,061 times
Reputation: 4612

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Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve View Post
Are you sure they stare at you because you are attractive? No offense but maybe you have loud kids, or talk overly loud to them or they simply completely misbehave and people look at you, hoping you get the hint of disciplining them.
They stare even if my kids are not with me.

My kids are very polite and well behaved. I actually parent and do not let them run a muck.
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Old 01-21-2015, 08:09 PM
 
Location: FL
1,400 posts, read 1,192,537 times
Reputation: 1992
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
Single dads probably aren't rolling in cash like you seem to be. Maybe they're at home.
This. In my split she took my youngest and my oldest wanted to stay here and finish high school. She got all the money and my son doesn't want uncool Dad hanging around when he goes out so its sit home and channel surf for me.
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Old 01-22-2015, 06:35 AM
 
Location: Herndon, VA
1,913 posts, read 1,809,183 times
Reputation: 6175
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck View Post
They stare even if my kids are not with me.

My kids are very polite and well behaved. I actually parent and do not let them run a muck.
It's amazing how perfect your life is. It's almost as if it's a fantasy. If only I could wrap my mind around the food stamp thing.
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Old 01-22-2015, 07:50 AM
 
16,724 posts, read 13,670,338 times
Reputation: 40996
Quote:
Originally Posted by RedZin View Post
When you come back and tell us all that you have your ish together enough to quit taking the taxpayer money, I'll consider your attitude properly adjusted, OP.

Honestly, I don't get why you cannot see that taking that money is a part of a larger problem.

It's not even like it's that much money. I get that.

But, what it is doing to you is making you part of a class of people that (if your stories here are to be believed) you do NOT need to belong to at all.

You are part of the welfare class of our society. Now, that's great for people who NEED that money, but you continually state here that you don't need it at all... you're well off... you are frugal... you invest... you have houses and cars and savings and retirement funds and you're a catch.

Okay... great... prove it. Go off the government teat and be a part of the class of society that isn't on welfare.

Because, frankly, with all the cash you're spending, I'm not sure why you don't see that you're working the system. Sure... you "qualify"... but, do you really?

There's a moral/psychological issue at work here and that you don't see what is inherently wrong with taking money you clearly (again, I am assuming you're 100% straight about your financial picture) do NOT need says, to me, that you do not see what you're doing to sabotage other areas of your life... including your dealings with potential partners.

If you cannot bring yourself to quit taking food stamps and Medicaid and pay for your own insurance and groceries, you're either afraid of standing on your own two feet or not as well off financially as you think you are.

Just something to think about, if you're inclined to do much in the way of introspection, of course.
You win the internet with this post right here!!! +100
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Old 01-22-2015, 10:25 AM
 
Location: Center of the universe
24,757 posts, read 32,896,894 times
Reputation: 11780
Quote:
Originally Posted by jillabean View Post
I guess we agree then. I thought you were implying that they don't "get" as opposed to don't "choose." Chalk it up to an internet misunderstanding. It's both really. Some states are still in the dark ages when it comes to parental rights. My observation (for the group I used to attend in my state with joint custody laws) is they don't get the kids as often by agreement... at least, that's what the dad's in my divorce support group said.

As for the link, not all the states have their laws listed there. My state is just blank, but we are joint physical custody too. I got the 35 states number from the Alliance of Non-Custodial Parents Rights website (Joint Custody Laws In The UNITED STATES). Thier site says




I just thought the Find Law site was a little more easy to read and it had more actual listings.
You also have to consider that "joint custody" doesn't always mean that parents have equal time. it sometimes means that Dad has the kids one day a week and two weekends a month - if he's really lucky.
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Old 01-22-2015, 10:28 AM
 
Location: Center of the universe
24,757 posts, read 32,896,894 times
Reputation: 11780
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck View Post
I work, save money, budget well, have no debt and invest in real estate. It is not complicated. I have taken people with lousy credit, debt up to their eyeballs and have taught them how to be good with money.
A real estate investor who is on food stamps. Only on the Internet.......
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Old 01-22-2015, 10:49 AM
 
Location: My House
33,058 posts, read 26,870,396 times
Reputation: 24400
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucario View Post
A real estate investor who is on food stamps. Only on the Internet.......
What? That's not part of those RE seminars?

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Old 01-22-2015, 10:50 AM
 
Location: Canada
8,696 posts, read 7,770,613 times
Reputation: 17920
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucario View Post
You also have to consider that "joint custody" doesn't always mean that parents have equal time. it sometimes means that Dad has the kids one day a week and two weekends a month - if he's really lucky.
True. There is joint legal and joint physical custody. Not the same thing at all.
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Old 01-22-2015, 10:53 AM
 
Location: My House
33,058 posts, read 26,870,396 times
Reputation: 24400
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck View Post
I do a lot of fun just to compensate for their lack of father involvement.
Why?

Does going on cruises make up for not having 2 parents? Nope.

You're setting yourself up to have kids that are manipulative, because they'll figure out quickly that you feel guilty about them not having a daddy around.

Just be a single parent. Do fun stuff sometimes, but not more than any other family, really. Don't overdo it.

You'll wind up with little monsters, no matter how well you think your disciplinary plan is working now.

Make sure they're actually old enough to appreciate the occasional treats.

Eh... worked fine on mine. The thing about being a single parent isn't that you need to make up for some deficit by filling it with toys and expensive activities.

It's about giving your kids the fullest parenting experience they can get, only doing it all by yourself.

Easy litmus test. Every time you get an idea for how to "make up for their lack of a dad," ask yourself this:

If I was married, would we definitely be doing this for the kids? Would we do it at this frequency? Would we spend this money on this?

If the answer is NO? Don't do it.
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Old 01-22-2015, 10:56 AM
 
9,415 posts, read 11,274,306 times
Reputation: 20186
If I was a single parent I would be taking that money you spend on frivolous guilt-reducing trips and indulgences for your kids and putting it into a food fund so you could get off welfare. The fact you can't see your priorities are extremely upside down, is mind boggling. Simple budgeting 101 Ms Real Estate Investor.
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