U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
 
Old 01-21-2015, 07:39 PM
 
Location: in your dreams
10,892 posts, read 13,025,620 times
Reputation: 15317

Advertisements

The person's lifestyle after surgery and whether or not they exercise and eat healthy would concern me the most. I know a woman who had that procedure years ago, but she's still flabby and really isn't active much at all. Alot of people think surgery is an easy fix, but it really takes effort to break the unhealthy habits that got them to obesity in the first place.
Quick reply to this message

 
Old 01-21-2015, 07:42 PM
 
Location: Texas
42,272 posts, read 49,833,895 times
Reputation: 67121
Quote:
Originally Posted by STT Resident View Post
What does a gastric bypass have to do with ill-health? It's an elective procedure for the obese with the objective of allowing the person to shed the pounds and lead a healthy active life. You can't make an analogy with the former chronically ill girlfriend. It's a little early to start thinking way ahead when you've only dated this woman a couple of times. Relax, have fun and go with the flow!
That surgery has a really big short and long term complication rate.
Plus the implications that she needed it in the first place.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-21-2015, 07:45 PM
 
Location: Texas
42,272 posts, read 49,833,895 times
Reputation: 67121
Oh, and lots of people gain a lot of the weight back over time.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-22-2015, 10:03 AM
 
Location: SE Michigan
1,213 posts, read 4,243,054 times
Reputation: 674
Not all weight loss (gastric surgeries) are the same.

There are different procedures that have the same objective... weight loss therefore fall under the title of "gastric bypass".

go to forums and ask people who have had the surgery and are long term post. Don't bother with the conjecture of people who read about them in the latest People magazine.

Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-22-2015, 10:12 AM
 
9,415 posts, read 11,286,554 times
Reputation: 20186
Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
That surgery has a really big short and long term complication rate.
Plus the implications that she needed it in the first place.
I agree. As an RN I have seen a pretty high number of people with a lot of complications from this surgery. The trouble is you never really know when anyone is going to get sick, there are no guarantees in life.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-22-2015, 10:13 AM
 
16,724 posts, read 13,699,473 times
Reputation: 40996
Quote:
Originally Posted by grmi66 View Post
Just getting back into the dating pool and met a woman online via OKCupid. Seem to have a lot in common, hit it off on the phone and the first couple of dates felt like there might be a spark between us. So the potential is there for something beyond a few dates. However, she did drop a bombshell to let me know that she had gastric bypass surgery 5 years ago and lost 150 pounds. Followed it up a couple of years later with plastic surgery to get rid of the excess skin.

One of the big issues with my last relationship was that she was chronically ill, maybe felt well a third of the time. Had a laundry list of ailments and took quite a few prescription meds to treat them. It was like living with an old lady in a 40 year old's body. But the third of the time she was happy, healthy and feeling good the relationship was fantastic. The other two thirds of the time I ended up playing nurse quite frequently. Needless to say I am gun shy to get involved again with someone who has the potential to become very unhealthy.

Anyone know what I could expect if this relationship moves forward? Really do not feel like playing nurse again in my next relationship. But if the long term health prognosis for gastric bypass patients is similar to the average 40-something woman, I would take the next steps to move forward in our budding romance.
Do you even know what Gastric Bypass is? It's just to help her lose weight so she CAN be healthy. How is that related to long-term illness? I'm baffled.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-22-2015, 11:59 AM
 
2,540 posts, read 3,305,973 times
Reputation: 5542
Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
Oh, and lots of people gain a lot of the weight back over time.
yes this would be my first concern.
Gastric bypass doesn't have a great success rate. Lots of people gain the weight back - all you need to do is stretch the stomach back out to its original size.

I'm very sympathetic towards overweight people who have metabolic disorders, health issues, hypothyroid etc, making it very difficult for them to lose weight in spite of watching their diet and exercising.
I'm NOT sympathetic to those that got that way simply due to gross overeating. And the fact that the surgery helped meant it was nothing more than overeating - and that the overeating/food addiction was so out of control that the person had to resort to major, difficult, risky surgery, when they could've achieved the same results by simply controlling their diet on their own. Which, in turn, means the person has issues with food and self-control, which will likely manifest themselves again sometime down the road - maybe not right away, maybe after some trigger like stress, but it's very likely. It's definitely something I would think about if thinking about a potential life partner.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-22-2015, 12:13 PM
 
Location: Texas
42,272 posts, read 49,833,895 times
Reputation: 67121
Quote:
Originally Posted by kcam213 View Post
Not all weight loss (gastric surgeries) are the same.

There are different procedures that have the same objective... weight loss therefore fall under the title of "gastric bypass".

go to forums and ask people who have had the surgery and are long term post. Don't bother with the conjecture of people who read about them in the latest People magazine.

I am a physician at a hospital that is (among other things) a bariatric center.
What's your expertise?
There's no way anyone who works here would get involved with it or advise their friends/family to do it.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-22-2015, 12:29 PM
 
Location: Chicago
3,263 posts, read 4,513,863 times
Reputation: 3996
I don't personally know anyone that has had gastric bypass, but I personally would not cut someone off because they had it. Yes, that surgery is intense and can have a lot of complications. But, there is always risk that a person you are dating/married to will get sick. I would be much more concerned with how the person was living their life now.

Over time I would want to know why they think they gained weight. I'd want to know how they resolve whatever issue they had. Many people eat for comfort due to either daily stresses or trauma. If they haven't resolved those issues the odds are good they will gain the weight back. If they have resolved them I think their odds of success are much higher. Obviously, you cannot know these things about someone right off the bat, but if someone seems like they'd be a good match for you I think it is worth taking the time to find out.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-22-2015, 12:41 PM
 
Location: St Thomas, US Virgin Islands
24,671 posts, read 55,646,402 times
Reputation: 26426
Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
That surgery has a really big short and long term complication rate.
I don't see that supported by the data.

Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
Oh, and lots of people gain a lot of the weight back over time.
Just as many people with liver failure go back to drinking once they've received treatment (or a transplant) and many people who lose weight the conventional way balloon up again.
Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


 
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:
Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top