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Old 01-21-2015, 01:01 PM
 
2,783 posts, read 6,380,461 times
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Just getting back into the dating pool and met a woman online via OKCupid. Seem to have a lot in common, hit it off on the phone and the first couple of dates felt like there might be a spark between us. So the potential is there for something beyond a few dates. However, she did drop a bombshell to let me know that she had gastric bypass surgery 5 years ago and lost 150 pounds. Followed it up a couple of years later with plastic surgery to get rid of the excess skin.

One of the big issues with my last relationship was that she was chronically ill, maybe felt well a third of the time. Had a laundry list of ailments and took quite a few prescription meds to treat them. It was like living with an old lady in a 40 year old's body. But the third of the time she was happy, healthy and feeling good the relationship was fantastic. The other two thirds of the time I ended up playing nurse quite frequently. Needless to say I am gun shy to get involved again with someone who has the potential to become very unhealthy.

Anyone know what I could expect if this relationship moves forward? Really do not feel like playing nurse again in my next relationship. But if the long term health prognosis for gastric bypass patients is similar to the average 40-something woman, I would take the next steps to move forward in our budding romance.
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Old 01-21-2015, 01:13 PM
 
Location: St Thomas, US Virgin Islands
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What does a gastric bypass have to do with ill-health? It's an elective procedure for the obese with the objective of allowing the person to shed the pounds and lead a healthy active life. You can't make an analogy with the former chronically ill girlfriend. It's a little early to start thinking way ahead when you've only dated this woman a couple of times. Relax, have fun and go with the flow!
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Old 01-21-2015, 01:42 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by STT Resident View Post
What does a gastric bypass have to do with ill-health? It's an elective procedure for the obese with the objective of allowing the person to shed the pounds and lead a healthy active life. You can't make an analogy with the former chronically ill girlfriend. It's a little early to start thinking way ahead when you've only dated this woman a couple of times. Relax, have fun and go with the flow!
Just don't know if people that have had gastric bypass tend to suffer any consequences long term. But you are right, probably overthinking things. Will just have fun and see where this takes me.
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Old 01-21-2015, 01:48 PM
 
Location: southwestern PA
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Originally Posted by grmi66 View Post
Needless to say I am gun shy to get involved again with someone who has the potential to become very unhealthy.
I would venture to guess that every single one of us "has the potential to become very unhealthy."

This lady in particular has less potential of 'unhealthiness' than most. She had the surgery to avoid/minimize health issues; she is under the care of probably several doctors. She is, more than likely, healthier than you!
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Old 01-21-2015, 02:04 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
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Originally Posted by grmi66 View Post
Just don't know if people that have had gastric bypass tend to suffer any consequences long term. But you are right, probably overthinking things. Will just have fun and see where this takes me.
It wouldn't have any affect on her current health. The only downside I can think of is that she wouldn't be able to eat a standard-sized meal. She'd be more likely to graze small meals throughout the day. So restaurant dates might not work out. Take your cue from her. Doesn't have to be a major obstacle, if you get along and have a lot in common.
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Old 01-21-2015, 02:04 PM
 
Location: League City
3,267 posts, read 6,281,625 times
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She probably has no greater chance of unhealthiness than the OP now that she has taken charge of her condition. I've been long term with someone who has a band. We go out to eat all the time and both of us take home boxes. It's not scary. You don't have to play nurse. Don't let something like this hold you back.
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Old 01-21-2015, 02:15 PM
 
Location: St Thomas, US Virgin Islands
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Originally Posted by grmi66 View Post
Just don't know if people that have had gastric bypass tend to suffer any consequences long term.
This is one of many articles which will explain all to you:

Weight Loss Surgery: Long-Term Results
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Old 01-21-2015, 02:27 PM
 
Location: Polynesia
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Interesting question. I'm no expert, but my understanding of obesity is that the root cause is often emotional, sometimes due to a past trauma. So, for me, it would raise a pink flag that there might be some underlying emotional problems the person is dealing with.

For example, a morbidly obese co-worker of mine once confided in me that she was sexually abused as a child and the extra weight was/is a defensive shield to protect herself from men.

I would want to make sure the person was dealing with whatever issue it was that caused them to become obese in the first place.
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Old 01-21-2015, 05:05 PM
 
2,783 posts, read 6,380,461 times
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Originally Posted by STT Resident View Post
This is one of many articles which will explain all to you:

Weight Loss Surgery: Long-Term Results
Thanks, this was just the article I was looking for.
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Old 01-21-2015, 05:36 PM
 
12,544 posts, read 11,919,458 times
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If anything, she probably more than halved her risk of diabetes and heart disease. I wouldn't sweat it if I were you.

I had a few dates with someone who had weight-loss surgery. The funny thing was that if he wanted to go a little wild, he'd have to do shots.
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