U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
 
Old 01-23-2015, 10:42 PM
 
Location: Earth
4,549 posts, read 3,501,073 times
Reputation: 6858

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by halfamazing View Post
People can be so strange. Everyone is focused on how he left and or has another girlfriend in some cynical attempt to make her feel bad. She repeatedly said she doesn't care. It really didn't matter. The matter of the fact was him not giving her some courtesy despite them casually dating. This was beyond FWB. People just want others to be miserable... There is no other reason for it.

I will give you an example of FWB. I used to train a woman in my gym. We were friends only in the gym. 2-3 times per week, she picked me up at the front gate or I drove and we met at a nearby parking lot to bang. We talked for a few min then got into. After we were done, she dropped me off. We never texted or talked on the phone. Our only communication was during her training sessions or in the gym.
That girl at the gym was a sex buddy. FB, but of course the f word isn't allowed here.

FRIEND with benefits means that friends is the first and foremost things are. Someone you already genuinely care about, trust and respect. The benefit is the sex however. But the sex isn't the main part of the relationship. it's an extra, aka benefit-not the whole paycheck or even the main part of it. And usually it doesn't come 1st, the friendship does, and because of the love and trust already built, said friends trust one another to handle each other sexually, but no respect or care is lost. But some get FWB and FB mixed up, or use them interchangeably, which isn't correct. Because they are not the same thing.

These 2 were casually hooking up, but debatable to say they were "friends." That word is used too loosely these days. And people tend to say friend, when an acquaintance is a better word. Just hanging out a few times doesn't make a friend. Is there any genuine love-friendship love? Can't you have serious conversations. are they someone you can turn to in a crisis. Do you care what's best for them, and it's reciprocal? A genuine friend is hard to come by. It's acquaintances, or people you can hang with, but don't have any real concern, care or feelings toward. You just may have some common ground and you can get together with that. I think of it like girls who hang out and gossip and talk trash about other girls. but hell, they're not even friends, and chances are when the aren't around each other, they're gossiping and talking dirty about each other to someone else. lol Those aren't friends.

So, some don't consider what the OP had a friend. Therefor, it wasn't on the same level as a FWB, and no craps should be given whether he was cordial or not in his break off of the arrangement. She texts, he ignores. Ok, he lost interest. Mark it as their loss, and Next. For someone who was just a casual sex partner with whom no deeper feelings were shared, many think to even get upset about him not responding is wasting too much energy on it since it wasn't too intimate of a relationship, emotionally, especially when both people involved were rebounding from previous actual relationships.

Last edited by HappyRain; 01-23-2015 at 11:01 PM..
Quick reply to this message

 
Old 01-24-2015, 11:18 AM
 
Location: in your dreams
10,892 posts, read 13,008,285 times
Reputation: 15317
That whole FWB term is often misleading because it's mostly just people trying to get out of the friend-zone, lol.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-24-2015, 01:02 PM
 
Location: SNA=>PDX 2013
2,435 posts, read 2,811,269 times
Reputation: 2759
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chelle212 View Post


I'm not responding to this post anymore, but if you actually read through it I was not more involved. If I wanted him so badly why would I end it? Why would I demote our relationship to FWB. I suggested it. We were dating before, I ended it. He had feelings for his ex still, it became obvious and I didn't want to date him anymore. If I wanted him I would have kept dating him and not demoted the relationship in hopes of him getting over the EX.

This is so maddening I can't even look at it anymore.

It was supposed to be about vanishing on someone.

Thank you everyone for your feedback.
Unfortunately on these boards, people assume you react just like them. And people in general can't handle FWB situations, they tend to fall in love or the other person does. If that wasn't true we wouldn't have to read all the posts about how you fell in love, when clearly all you're looking for is honesty and respect. The man is a coward, end of story.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-24-2015, 01:02 PM
 
3,592 posts, read 4,512,941 times
Reputation: 4730
When FWB goes wrong it's usually because the sex was good. I can see OP wanting the end of it to be handled more humanely. But if the guy can't attach commitment to sex, then he probably has poor social skills and no amount of sex with a new woman or even lust will change that.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-24-2015, 01:09 PM
 
295 posts, read 230,823 times
Reputation: 499
Of course, he owes you at least a message that he does not want to see you anymore. He behaves cowardly and it seems like he does not have manners. I can't understand why some people here say 'he owes you nothing', 'you didn't have a relationship'. Of course you both had some kind of relationship. Even if you meet a complete stranger and talk to him/her for about 20 minutes, ... from the moment you both meet, you have a relationship. You are 'a stranger you're just about to get to know' ... and when you have manners you say 'hello' and 'goodbye'.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-24-2015, 05:42 PM
 
1,287 posts, read 888,697 times
Reputation: 1716
FWB=a friend you have fun with...with conditions
You need to realize that you didn't have anything except the sex. Sure you were friendly, but when something is designated as a FWB, there is little chance that it's going to blossom into something more. Very few will blossom, most will end just as abruptly as it happened with you. Be happy for the good times, and for not having someone who stalks you....won't leave you alone....acts nasty towards you, or another 100 other creeper things people do when relationships end.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-25-2015, 09:41 AM
 
14,648 posts, read 29,692,844 times
Reputation: 17206
OP - are you sure the guy is OK? I ask, because I didn't hear from a friend of mine for a while, and found out he died.

Anyway, this is likely not the case, and if so, no matter WHAT your relationship was technically, I would think he could have had the courtesy to explain why he terminated the relationship. Some guys are just cowards, though.....
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-25-2015, 11:46 AM
 
Location: in your dreams
10,892 posts, read 13,008,285 times
Reputation: 15317
Quote:
Originally Posted by gypsychic View Post
OP - are you sure the guy is OK? I ask, because I didn't hear from a friend of mine for a while, and found out he died.

Anyway, this is likely not the case, and if so, no matter WHAT your relationship was technically, I would think he could have had the courtesy to explain why he terminated the relationship. Some guys are just cowards, though.....
(Wow, I'm sorry to hear that, ) So it's been what, 5 days here? While I wouldn't suggest we assume the worst, OP- it is important to give your friend some breathing/wiggle room. You never know what people are dealing with, so common courtesy would be to respect the man's space - he does have a life outside of you, or if not, maybe he's needs to get one. I have a feeling he will eventually get back in touch after he's sorted himself and gotten his nerve up... "FWB" is a real test in patience & tolerance, huh....... [ In other words, it sucks. ] *Discernment is the key to creating balance & peace within.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-26-2015, 02:23 PM
 
35,121 posts, read 37,790,060 times
Reputation: 61840
Quote:
Originally Posted by psichick View Post
Unfortunately on these boards, people assume you react just like them. And people in general can't handle FWB situations, they tend to fall in love or the other person does. If that wasn't true we wouldn't have to read all the posts about how you fell in love, when clearly all you're looking for is honesty and respect. The man is a coward, end of story.
Why is he a coward? He followed the agreement which is no commitment, no strings and he disappeared without the long goodbye because no commitment, no strings also means no explaining necessary.

The original poster cannot handle what she agreed to because she wants "closure" . News flash, no explaining needed equals no closure needed which is following the initial agreement and that is the end of the story.
This man has done nothing wrong according to their agreement.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-26-2015, 03:19 PM
 
2,690 posts, read 1,853,443 times
Reputation: 2516
FWB and whatever is agreed upon....

It could get to the point that a very specific contract needs to be written detailing everything that is agreed upon and then signed before getting into FWB relationship.
Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


 
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:
Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top