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Old 01-22-2015, 07:29 PM
 
Location: My House
33,075 posts, read 26,889,149 times
Reputation: 24409

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Candycupcakes View Post
Everyone has completely looked over everything I said and did not acknowledge my responses instead just give out opinions nothing positive what so ever.
What's positive about you seeking out a guy with mental problems who lives several states over for no-strings sexcapades?

I mean, what can go wrong? LOL.
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Old 01-22-2015, 07:33 PM
 
128 posts, read 150,531 times
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So if it was more than just sex and I actually wanted to have a relationship with him would it be positive? So what if he lives in another state is that why you think it's a problem? Or is it because he has a mental illness?

Quote:
Originally Posted by RedZin View Post
What's positive about you seeking out a guy with mental problems who lives several states over for no-strings sexcapades?

I mean, what can go wrong? LOL.
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Old 01-22-2015, 07:43 PM
 
Location: My House
33,075 posts, read 26,889,149 times
Reputation: 24409
Quote:
Originally Posted by Candycupcakes View Post
So if it was more than just sex and I actually wanted to have a relationship with him would it be positive? So what if he lives in another state is that why you think it's a problem? Or is it because he has a mental illness?
If you met him through friends, got to know him and really liked him, then you two decided to have a FWB arrangement, I'd tell you to go for it. The mental illness part would likely not be an issue unless he was psychotic.

Deliberately selecting a man that much older from another state who has a mental illness seems foolhardy.
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Old 01-22-2015, 08:23 PM
 
128 posts, read 150,531 times
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I didn't actually select him on purpose I've known of him for awhile. I then decided to add him on Facebook and then he commented on some of my posts and we started talking in messages. It wasn't all about sex I'll admit that I did flirt with him though. Yes I knew he had a mental illness but I still wanted to be friends with him. I wasn't after him for sexual reasons that's not it at all. I like him as a person I also did feel sorry for hi in some way. We have talked a lot it's not like I just added him and starting talking about sex.

Quote:
Originally Posted by RedZin View Post
If you met him through friends, got to know him and really liked him, then you two decided to have a FWB arrangement, I'd tell you to go for it. The mental illness part would likely not be an issue unless he was psychotic.

Deliberately selecting a man that much older from another state who has a mental illness seems foolhardy.
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Old 01-22-2015, 11:44 PM
 
Location: My House
33,075 posts, read 26,889,149 times
Reputation: 24409
Quote:
Originally Posted by Candycupcakes View Post
I didn't actually select him on purpose I've known of him for awhile. I then decided to add him on Facebook and then he commented on some of my posts and we started talking in messages. It wasn't all about sex I'll admit that I did flirt with him though. Yes I knew he had a mental illness but I still wanted to be friends with him. I wasn't after him for sexual reasons that's not it at all. I like him as a person I also did feel sorry for hi in some way. We have talked a lot it's not like I just added him and starting talking about sex.
But, he's someone you've never met, so you don't really know him.

That's my point. You know his persona, not him.

And he's got a lot of negatives stacked in his corner. I think there would be too many red flags for me to be thinking "hey... this is a great guy to have a sexual relationship with."

If you came on here asking if you should get to know a guy like this as a friend and he lived down the street, and that you might want to date him, I am quite sure you'd get different answers.

Honestly, it's not that anyone is against long-distance relationships, age differences, FWBs, or people with mental illnesses per se.

It's the combo that would make most people pause.

Make sense?
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Old 01-23-2015, 12:02 AM
 
128 posts, read 150,531 times
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Yes I get it so basically I can't even be friends with this guy then? He will probably forget all about the things I said to him. Why is it a problem that he lives in another state?


Quote:
Originally Posted by RedZin View Post
But, he's someone you've never met, so you don't really know him.

That's my point. You know his persona, not him.

And he's got a lot of negatives stacked in his corner. I think there would be too many red flags for me to be thinking "hey... this is a great guy to have a sexual relationship with."

If you came on here asking if you should get to know a guy like this as a friend and he lived down the street, and that you might want to date him, I am quite sure you'd get different answers.

Honestly, it's not that anyone is against long-distance relationships, age differences, FWBs, or people with mental illnesses per se.

It's the combo that would make most people pause.

Make sense?
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Old 01-23-2015, 06:08 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
39,067 posts, read 37,716,477 times
Reputation: 73714
Quote:
Originally Posted by Candycupcakes View Post
Yes I get it so basically I can't even be friends with this guy then? He will probably forget all about the things I said to him. Why is it a problem that he lives in another state?
It's a problem because you will RARELY if ever see each other, and your relationship will only be a series of interactions like a pen pal usually on your best behavior and not at all like real life. Can you not understand why that is not ideal? It's fake, false, forced.

How have you "known him for years"???
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Old 01-23-2015, 06:48 AM
 
128 posts, read 150,531 times
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He and I aren't in a relationship I've said this a million times. I take it you are against long distance relationships as well?

I said I've known of him for years that part is irrelevant. I only mentioned it to say that I know he's a real person and not just someone made up.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
It's a problem because you will RARELY if ever see each other, and your relationship will only be a series of interactions like a pen pal usually on your best behavior and not at all like real life. Can you not understand why that is not ideal? It's fake, false, forced.

How have you "known him for years"???
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Old 01-23-2015, 08:07 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
39,067 posts, read 37,716,477 times
Reputation: 73714
Quote:
Originally Posted by Candycupcakes View Post
He and I aren't in a relationship I've said this a million times. I take it you are against long distance relationships as well?

I said I've known of him for years that part is irrelevant. I only mentioned it to say that I know he's a real person and not just someone made up.
OK, I don't know why you cannot understand simple English. I will try one more time.

I KNOW that you are not IN a relationship. However, since you communicate regularly, you do have "a relationship." Just like I have "a relationship" with my son's teacher or my next-door neighbor. We aren't having sex or dating, but we are acquaintances who communicate regularly. It's just the state of being connected. That is literally what the word means. So you can get over that now.

And HOW you know him is quite relevant. Is he a friend of your parents?
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Old 01-23-2015, 09:40 AM
 
128 posts, read 150,531 times
Reputation: 45
You didn't answer my question do you have something against long distance relationships as in friendships?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
OK, I don't know why you cannot understand simple English. I will try one more time.

I KNOW that you are not IN a relationship. However, since you communicate regularly, you do have "a relationship." Just like I have "a relationship" with my son's teacher or my next-door neighbor. We aren't having sex or dating, but we are acquaintances who communicate regularly. It's just the state of being connected. That is literally what the word means. So you can get over that now.

And HOW you know him is quite relevant. Is he a friend of your parents?
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