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Old 01-22-2015, 01:06 PM
 
8,468 posts, read 13,224,396 times
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Suppose you're dating someone and things have progressed to the point where you both want to have sex, but you suspect the other person is afraid because they're self conscious about their weight. What can you say or do that might help the situation? Obviously, you don't want to pressure the person nor do you want to say anything that would make them even more self-conscious about their body. Beyond just waiting, what can you do? To the women here, how often have you delayed sex with a guy because you were afraid of how he would react to your body? And if so, what helped the most as far as getting past your fears?
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Old 01-22-2015, 01:10 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
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Alcohol
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Old 01-22-2015, 01:13 PM
 
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I've been there, either because they said it outright or because I had a hunch.

The best strategy is no strategy. Much like was mentioned in the thread about the man who had trouble with an erection, mentioning it in any way (even if complimentary) makes it worse.

Actually, I'll second the alcohol idea

But otherwise, just keep waiting, and make sure the lights are off the first time or two.
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Old 01-22-2015, 01:21 PM
 
8,468 posts, read 13,224,396 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hawaiiancoconut View Post
Alcohol
Alcohol only works if the person is there. But if the person keeps canceling on you at the last minute because they're afraid, alcohol won't do much good.
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Old 01-22-2015, 01:22 PM
 
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Many women want to feel they can trust you in order to have sex with you. ...so look up trust building exercises on wiki to refresh your memory.
Women have serious sensitivities about body image whether they are thin or heavy. Concentrate on saying things like how great her skin & hair smells, how soft her skin is, etc... Do not mention weight ever if you have a wit in your head.
Romance in candlelight might do the trick.
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Old 01-22-2015, 01:22 PM
 
16,724 posts, read 13,670,338 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DennyCrane View Post
Suppose you're dating someone and things have progressed to the point where you both want to have sex, but you suspect the other person is afraid because they're self conscious about their weight. What can you say or do that might help the situation? Obviously, you don't want to pressure the person nor do you want to say anything that would make them even more self-conscious about their body. Beyond just waiting, what can you do? To the women here, how often have you delayed sex with a guy because you were afraid of how he would react to your body? And if so, what helped the most as far as getting past your fears?
I'm phat, but if a guy and I were into each other and he's had his hands on my body at all, I know he's not hung up on it, so I would just go for it.

Otherwise, maybe she needs to get drunk the first time
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Old 01-22-2015, 01:23 PM
 
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The first time I took off my clothes with this one guy, he just said quietly and a bit fervently "Please don't lose a single pound."

Of course, you have to get her to the point where she takes her clothes off, but when you're making out, don't things start coming off?
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Old 01-22-2015, 01:23 PM
 
Location: Middle America
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Never have been motivated to put off intimacy due to appearance concerns. My rule of thumb has always been that if I seriously have to worry that a partner is going to be critical of my body, I probably shouldn't be getting naked with him. I generally have only ever been sexually intimate with people with whom I was 100% comfortable.
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Old 01-22-2015, 01:24 PM
 
Location: Alexandria, VA
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Don't have sex with guys and gals who prefer a different body size or will be critical about your exterior.

It puts me at ease to just put things aside one night where we just cuddle, then tell him that I want him to see what I look like. In serious mode, without the lights turned off, without him doing anything sexual but just being my target audience, and just take off everything, even down to the panties, and just stand before him in my natural state so that he can see in its full glory my body and that Im comfortable in it with him. Then tell him to get naked, too. So both of us are vulnerable to the other and standing face to face seeing each other. It's quite intimate in itself, with the right person, without any sex.

If you or your partner cant have that kind of comfort, acceptance and love of one another's body and flaws that are a part of who you are as a person, then why are you having sex at all when you could be making love?
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Old 01-22-2015, 01:28 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yiuppy View Post
Don't have sex with guys and gals who prefer a different body size or will be critical about your exterior.
Who said anything about this?

Pretty sure it's safe to assume that the OP (or the hypothetical man in question) is just fine with his partner's body, but wants to know how to pursue sex without putting pressure on her or offending her in any way.
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