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Old 01-22-2015, 03:47 PM
 
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Well, if you look at it this way, it would seem marriage vows *do* mean something to most married people: The divorce rate has steadily been dropping since a peak in 1979. And 70% of marriages that started in the 1990s are still together (excluding dead of a spouse). And the University of Wisconsin predicts that at least 2/3 of all marriages will last/never end in divorce. Is the Divorce Rate Dropping? | Schmidt Law Services

Of course, people breaking their vows doesn't always have to end in divorce. But at least it's something, right?
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Old 01-22-2015, 03:48 PM
 
Location: Northern VA (for now)
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I think marriage has become like any other contract. It can end when one party p&$@es another party off enough.

I think some of the stories you hear about couples threatening divorce over stupid things are really just events that hide a much bigger problem that exists in the marriage but neither party has the courage to confront.
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Old 01-22-2015, 03:51 PM
 
Location: Sunny Florida
7,136 posts, read 10,667,768 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223 View Post
The reason for that is simple. We've managed to turn personal fulfillment to be the highest good in the universe, so people have to have it right now and in the way they expect.

Here's the thing. If you believe the baloney that you're supposed to be happy all the time, then you are setting yourself up for misery. Most of the time, I'm a pretty happy guy. But there have been times when I've had unhappy circumstances forced upon me, and I simply had to take life one day at a time.

What does this have to do with marriage? It's easy. We are sold the Disney version of what marriage is. All Disney cartoons end with a wedding at the end. So people conclude that they'll live happily ever after saying, "I do." Yet they don't think about what marriage is like when you're short on cash, when somebody is struggling with their career, when someone is ill, when you are exhausted earning a living and raising kids, or anything else for that matter. So people who have bought into the infantile notion of continual happiness start to make decisions to achieve happiness, even when they are incredibly short-sighted, selfish, and destructive.

Marriage is a truly rewarding state. I am a better person married, and I am incredibly happy at the life we've built together. I really feel sad for those who -- either through bad choices or their innate cynicism -- cannot enjoy the notion of a rock-solid marriage with all its richness and joy. But it requires giving up a bit of yourself to make something even bigger and better. And too many people are far too self-absorbed to make that sacrifice.
I agree with this. It helps to marry someone with similar values, goals, and level of commitment, as well.
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Old 01-22-2015, 03:54 PM
 
28,906 posts, read 45,202,743 times
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Originally Posted by NewYorker11356 View Post
This is why, for better or worse, I'd want to analyze the woman a lot before I decide to go through with marriage (if I ever decide to get married). Just seen and heard way too many horror stories nowadays.
Analysis is for neurotics when it comes to matters of the heart. When you know you know.
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Old 01-22-2015, 03:56 PM
 
Location: Middle America
35,817 posts, read 39,346,783 times
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Marriage vows are as sacred as the people taking them believe them to be.

Personally, I don't know why you'd bother to get married at all if you don't subscribe to the vows as binding promises...it's not as if you HAVE to get married, and if you disagree with the whole concept of vows of fidelity, respect, caring, and love, and would rather have an arrangement that doesn't incorporate such promises, there's really no need to get married to begin with.

But people do strange things.
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Old 01-22-2015, 04:01 PM
 
3,352 posts, read 2,142,291 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TabulaRasa View Post
Marriage vows are as sacred as the people taking them believe them to be.

Personally, I don't know why you'd bother to get married at all if you don't subscribe to the vows as binding promises...it's not as if you HAVE to get married, and if you disagree with the whole concept of vows of fidelity, respect, caring, and love, and would rather have an arrangement that doesn't incorporate such promises, there's really no need to get married to begin with.

But people do strange things.
People change overtime and we cannot stop that
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Old 01-22-2015, 04:06 PM
 
Location: Queens, NY
3,740 posts, read 1,995,484 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223 View Post
Analysis is for neurotics when it comes to matters of the heart. When you know you know.
While I don't disagree, some people do change overtime, and it's out of your control if that happens.

Last edited by NewYorker11356; 01-22-2015 at 04:37 PM..
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Old 01-22-2015, 04:10 PM
 
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"Judge, I have to leave my wife because our two year old spilled nail polish on my mother's couch."

That man is in for a rude awakening.
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Old 01-22-2015, 04:28 PM
 
Location: The World
3,012 posts, read 1,810,469 times
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They are definitely married.
My husband got me nothing for Christmas

"My husband got me nothing for Christmas"

"My husband and I have been married for one year."



Responses included such jewels as, "Run," and "Do you think you can live with that?" Other "issues" were identified later in the thread, but these were initial responses before these issues were identified.


That thread isn't the only thing that I'm talking about, though. It was just an example. I gave others.
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Old 01-22-2015, 04:29 PM
 
Location: Northern VA (for now)
23,003 posts, read 31,949,672 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RonkonkomaNative View Post
"Judge, I have to leave my wife because our two year old spilled nail polish on my mother's couch."

That man is in for a rude awakening.
If that Judge doesn't go crazy and knock dude on his a$& for bringing a case like that into his courtroom.
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