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Old 01-23-2015, 07:27 PM
 
Location: California
58 posts, read 36,583 times
Reputation: 160

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Quote:
Originally Posted by K.Uni View Post
Anyone feel this way?
I recently got out of a very nasty 3 year relationship.. our relationship was soo complicated, I knew he wasn't the one deep down and I was never truly happy but I cared too much and hung on to him.
Now after the break-up, I am constantly evaluating myself and comparing myself to others the same age. All my friends are coupled down, I'm like always the 3rd, 5th, 7th wheel!

When I was younger, I always hoped that I would be married by 26, kids maybe 28-29. Umm yeah, that's not happening.

I feel like the clock is ticking (lol) and I know I'm only 25 but at the same time, time is running out
I totally get what you're saying! You feel supremely awkward and left out when everyone is engaged or about to be engaged. I'm not JEALOUS but I have had it drummed into my head that I should be married before 30 and have a bun in the oven posthaste.

Even still, I've got pretty bad analysis paralysis. I am hesitant to make a huge mistake and end up regretting it. So now I'm just spinning my wheels.

At 21, I thought I had all the time in the world. At 24, I'm worried about being an old maid.
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Old 01-23-2015, 11:20 PM
 
398 posts, read 533,010 times
Reputation: 230
Quote:
Originally Posted by Montanaguy04 View Post
Time won't be running out on you until about another 10 years. It does start to get harder post 30 though so don't make the mistake of spending your youth partying and focusing on your career then start looking for a man in your mid to late 30s. A lot of men, myself included, date younger. That means a 30s man is looking to date 20s women or low 30s women.

Here are some eye opening articles for you.
Get Married First, Then Focus On Your Career | Thought Catalog
Why women lose the dating game
Haha yeah, I know this is the "prime time" so that's why I'm so worried! And I guess the reason why I'm so nervous/anxious is because I'm so picky Before my ex, I was single for most of times, even through college when "hookups" and "flings" and "potential bfs" were all around. I tried not to be picky but if I don't like you, then I just don't like you I guess the only good thing is I'm into older men, so 29-33 is perfect for me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by tofur View Post
My worst nightmare is ending up with a girl who is acting on "I want X by age Y". I want a girl who is happy being alone but wants to be with me more. Based on OP's post and what I see around me in general, such a woman is very rare.
Well, just because I want to be 'settled' down by 26 doesn't mean I'm going to rush in any relationships and marriage. As mentioned above, I'm very picky so I guess that's what makes me mention the age thing. Yes, I wanted to be married by 26 but I will only date guys I like, and not to sound like a snobby ***** but guys I "liked" mutually doesn't come around often. Most guys that liked me were friend-zoned and/or I just wasn't interested. Some guys I liked weren't interested in me. Soo at this rate, I'm probably going to find a guy at maybe 30, and if it works out, great, married by 35 hopefully and kids at 38 which might be too late already (lol). If the guy doesn't work out then I'm doomed, ha ha
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Old 01-24-2015, 10:39 AM
 
6,859 posts, read 4,455,630 times
Reputation: 12031
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
LOL so everyone go jump off a cliff now?? Why bother "trying" at all?

Don't be such a nihilist.
We bother "trying" in matters over which we have control. I bother trying in the lab to produce quality-data and to reduce errors, because a shoddy experiment yields no useful data, and I have some control over the usage of equipment and the design of the experiment. I bother trying to run on the treadmill, because there's a fairly tight relationship between the burning of calories and one's resulting body-fat.

But over relationships we have comparatively little control. The sooner that we embrace that fact, the less futile struggle with which to contend.

"Nihilism" is the denial that there is valid distinction between a positive and negative outcome. It denies that normative value can be assigned. Acceptance that a normative value IS possible, but denying that we can directly influence its course, is fatalism.
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Old 01-24-2015, 10:48 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
39,415 posts, read 38,049,167 times
Reputation: 74358
Quote:
Originally Posted by K.Uni View Post
Haha yeah, I know this is the "prime time" so that's why I'm so worried! And I guess the reason why I'm so nervous/anxious is because I'm so picky Before my ex, I was single for most of times, even through college when "hookups" and "flings" and "potential bfs" were all around. I tried not to be picky but if I don't like you, then I just don't like you I guess the only good thing is I'm into older men, so 29-33 is perfect for me.
Ignore him and that crap. Seriously.

Men age too. Funny how life works that way.
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Old 01-24-2015, 11:01 AM
 
Location: Canada
8,728 posts, read 7,822,451 times
Reputation: 18020
A little perspective might help. You haven't been dating since the day you were born, so to let's say you've been in the dating world for 7 years (just to simplify things). Couple this with the fact that your brain doesn't finish forming until around 25 and really, you're right at the beginning, have your whole life ahead of you. Now is the perfect time to start.
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Old 01-26-2015, 06:48 PM
 
432 posts, read 516,816 times
Reputation: 491
I'm kind of in the same boat. Bad relationship that lasted a little over a year when I was 24/25. We broke up over a year ago, and here I am 26, 27 in June, and I haven't been out on a date or even talked to a girl in over a year. It used to bug me and worried about marrying, kids, career, etc., but I'm totally cool with it now. I'm just taking my time, enjoying life, and it's nice to have some "me" time. Hope this helps some. Cheers.
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Old 01-26-2015, 07:04 PM
 
Location: The Great West
2,074 posts, read 1,905,014 times
Reputation: 4043
So the revenge thing didn't make you feel 100% better again?

ideas for revenge
Quote:
Originally Posted by K.Uni View Post
Lol, happened Monday night. My friend and I went to the *****'s house (that pursued my cheating ex-bf) late at night while she was sleeping and trashed her front steps/porch. I made a nasty egg mix (7 cartons) with leftover thanksgiving stuffing, cranberry sauce, milk, sriracha, etc. and we poured it all over. Also poured some glue, hair gel, toilet paper, egg shells, grated cheese into the mix. Teepeed the tree and egged her car.

I know, I know, I'm better than that.. but the vengeance never felt so damn good!!!! It takes 2 to tango and both were at fault.. and I did warned them that they were messing with the wrong *****. But nope! still continued to do so. This is just the beginning- I'm getting him back a different way.
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Old 01-27-2015, 06:48 AM
 
3,599 posts, read 2,725,402 times
Reputation: 6957
Quote:
Originally Posted by K.Uni View Post
When I was younger, I always hoped that I would be married by 26, kids maybe 28-29.
Why? Why did you think these things need to happen by a specific age? It's totally arbitrary and makes no sense.

Quote:
Originally Posted by K.Uni View Post
I feel like the clock is ticking (lol) and I know I'm only 25 but at the same time, time is running out
Time is running out for what? Are you in a race? It's pretty likely you have at least a decade of prime fertility ahead of you, so what's the big rush? You seem to be in an awfully big hurry to cross some imaginary finish line at the same time as other people instead of at your own pace.

IMO no one should get married before 30 anyway, so I cannot understand this urge to share your life with someone before you have even had time to build a life on your own and find out who YOU are.
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Old 01-27-2015, 06:50 AM
 
3,599 posts, read 2,725,402 times
Reputation: 6957
Quote:
Originally Posted by savoytruffle View Post
So the revenge thing didn't make you feel 100% better again?

ideas for revenge
Oh yikes, I should have read that before I bothered to respond. OP has a lot of growing up to do before she starts thinking about marriage and kids.
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Old 01-29-2015, 02:41 AM
 
398 posts, read 533,010 times
Reputation: 230
Quote:
Originally Posted by savoytruffle View Post
So the revenge thing didn't make you feel 100% better again?

ideas for revenge
? Wtf, Your point? You really care so much and went thru the pages? Lmao. You must care about me.

I'm eating some sushi atm, spicy tuna and spider.
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