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Old 01-24-2015, 03:58 PM
 
Location: Northern VA (for now)
23,000 posts, read 31,942,334 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Raena77 View Post
Awww Dissenter you are too young to think like this.You will do fine, just knock off the tough guy crap at least with women.
There is no "tough guy crap" this is who I am.

 
Old 01-24-2015, 04:16 PM
 
9,415 posts, read 11,272,190 times
Reputation: 20186
Passive boys are....shall I say it....dare I mention that word....ok here goes....they're betas.
 
Old 01-24-2015, 04:26 PM
 
Location: Jupiter
9,709 posts, read 5,628,063 times
Reputation: 7291
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011 View Post
Another great post, GravityMan!

So what is it with people not being able to balance their lives? I was a straight A student throughout school and still found time to keep up my grades and date/have relationships. I went to university and college (two separate institutions in Canada) and there's no way I could have studied 24/7. Having a social life was crucial to maintaining a healthy mental wellbeing, having balance and the opportunity to relax or cut loose. There's a reason school campuses offer sports, activities, social events/mixers, volunteer work. It's to expose you to new things and hopefully make you more well-rounded.

What's the culprit? Lack of social skills? Inability to multi-task or prioritize? Someone's downtime involving computers, video games, reading, and other isolating activities instead of going out and being around other people?

All of life is about balance. There isn't a sequence of events to life where you focus on one thing at a time until it's done and then move onto the next. Once schooling is finished and you get into the work world, you don't focus solely on work until you retire and then decide you have the time to date in your 60s.

If you don't know how to find balance, consult an academic/career counselor, or ask someone you know, who manages to balance work and play, schooling and dating. Millions of people have managed it over the years, it's not some big secret that only a select few get to know.
You're right. But for me personally, I'm in my senior year of college, I'm trying to get into medical school. I do socialize but not too much because I have focus on my grades and I work as well. I'd love to have a girlfriend, but it would be hard tbh. I don't think I'd have enough time for her.
 
Old 01-24-2015, 05:37 PM
 
1,287 posts, read 888,697 times
Reputation: 1716
I think that passiveness actually manifests itself with being overly picky. I think it's another form of a mental wall to help protect some from being rejected/hurt. I am not sure why some get so paralyzed by their fear of rejection/failure, that they build up a set of conditions in order to date someone. Conditions that are truly finding a needle in a haystack, which would make 99% of the opposite sex not a compatible match.....No matches, no risk of getting rejected/hurt, it's fuzzy kitten safe, but at the same time it's not smart at all....When you find that one, you will have little skill in building what it would take to keep that person interested in you.....
 
Old 01-24-2015, 05:42 PM
 
1,024 posts, read 816,141 times
Reputation: 1718
Quote:
Originally Posted by Djuna View Post
Passive boys are....shall I say it....dare I mention that word....ok here goes....they're betas.
And women hate, hate, hate betas.
 
Old 01-24-2015, 06:46 PM
 
Location: PANAMA
1,424 posts, read 1,006,375 times
Reputation: 1146
Quote:
Originally Posted by Djuna View Post
Passive boys are....shall I say it....dare I mention that word....ok here goes....they're betas.

A passive guy is not equal, to awkward, dumb or shy, in my opinion. A passive guy can and will conquer a woman's heart, but not just by "brute force" but with the mind, doing the unexpected.

Women like the "passive" guys...look at how Edward Cullen, won the heart of Bella in Twilight. Jack didn't won Rose's heart in "Titanic" by being flamboyant, he just showed her a new side of life being himself.

Richard Gere's character in "Officer and a Gentleman" wasn't the flashy guy. He swept Debra Winger's character off her feet by just being honest.

The flamboyant or "alpha" type, will go strong, the "beta" will go smoothly. The "alpha" may be the James Bond or the Christian Grey type...sure, some women love that type. But the "passive" guy is the one that conquers her heart by just being honest, real and down to earth. Like Rocky with Adrian. Adrian wasn't the prettiest girl around, and Rocky wasn't good looking or that sharp but he conquered her heart with honesty and being realistic.

So a passive guy is not the "Sheldon Cooper" or the "nerdy" type. Is Not that he isn't interested on dating. He is just interested on more than sex, he wants to be the "knight in shining armor", he wants to know if that woman is worth his time and efforts. He is just taking his time to know more about her. Sure he doesn't get a lot of ladies like the "flamboyant alpha type", but when the "beta passive" scores...you will know for sure he is for the long run.

When you see "so so guys" with a hot rich girl...well my friend...that's most likely a passive guy right there.
 
Old 01-24-2015, 08:52 PM
 
Location: Pa
42,565 posts, read 42,398,375 times
Reputation: 24873
Quote:
Originally Posted by skywalker2014 View Post
A passive guy is not equal, to awkward, dumb or shy, in my opinion. A passive guy can and will conquer a woman's heart, but not just by "brute force" but with the mind, doing the unexpected.

Women like the "passive" guys...look at how Edward Cullen, won the heart of Bella in Twilight. Jack didn't won Rose's heart in "Titanic" by being flamboyant, he just showed her a new side of life being himself.

Richard Gere's character in "Officer and a Gentleman" wasn't the flashy guy. He swept Debra Winger's character off her feet by just being honest.

The flamboyant or "alpha" type, will go strong, the "beta" will go smoothly. The "alpha" may be the James Bond or the Christian Grey type...sure, some women love that type. But the "passive" guy is the one that conquers her heart by just being honest, real and down to earth. Like Rocky with Adrian. Adrian wasn't the prettiest girl around, and Rocky wasn't good looking or that sharp but he conquered her heart with honesty and being realistic.

So a passive guy is not the "Sheldon Cooper" or the "nerdy" type. Is Not that he isn't interested on dating. He is just interested on more than sex, he wants to be the "knight in shining armor", he wants to know if that woman is worth his time and efforts. He is just taking his time to know more about her. Sure he doesn't get a lot of ladies like the "flamboyant alpha type", but when the "beta passive" scores...you will know for sure he is for the long run.

When you see "so so guys" with a hot rich girl...well my friend...that's most likely a passive guy right there.
Interesting.
 
Old 01-24-2015, 08:59 PM
 
1,166 posts, read 912,134 times
Reputation: 1002
Quote:
Originally Posted by vigueur2014 View Post
I think that passiveness actually manifests itself with being overly picky. I think it's another form of a mental wall to help protect some from being rejected/hurt. I am not sure why some get so paralyzed by their fear of rejection/failure, that they build up a set of conditions in order to date someone. Conditions that are truly finding a needle in a haystack, which would make 99% of the opposite sex not a compatible match.....No matches, no risk of getting rejected/hurt, it's fuzzy kitten safe, but at the same time it's not smart at all....When you find that one, you will have little skill in building what it would take to keep that person interested in you .....
That's the problem in and of itself, imo. As a man, why should I be required to have a particular skill in order to have a woman stay interested in me?

My personal opinion on the matter is the woman can take it or leave it. If she doesn't like me for what I already have to offer, then she could walk.
 
Old 01-24-2015, 09:01 PM
 
1,166 posts, read 912,134 times
Reputation: 1002
Quote:
Originally Posted by tairos View Post
And women hate, hate, hate betas.
Read through the lines, man. Don't drink the koolaid.

As I said a few posts back, women don't like passive men because passive men won't put in the work (meaning that the women will have to). Women like aggressive men because they (the women) are lazy and don't want to risk rejection.

This whole alpha-beta thing was created by them to shame men into doing what they want.
 
Old 01-24-2015, 09:13 PM
 
Location: Jupiter
9,709 posts, read 5,628,063 times
Reputation: 7291
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cristo666 View Post
Read through the lines, man. Don't drink the koolaid.

As I said a few posts back, women don't like passive men because passive men won't put in the work (meaning that the women will have to). Women like aggressive men because they (the women) are lazy and don't want to risk rejection.

This whole alpha-beta thing was created by them to shame men into doing what they want.
I'd rather be a beta male than be something I'm not. I'm glad I took that break from dating because I can focus on myself and not worry about what a woman wants. Seems selfish, but I have to worry about myself for now. Nobody else will.
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