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Old 01-29-2015, 10:15 AM
 
376 posts, read 234,028 times
Reputation: 214

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdroplet76 View Post
Well, all I know is that almost every guy I've been interested in has made a move on me - so either they have all been great at picking up signals or they didn't care if I was giving out signals or not. Or maybe I'm just really good at giving out signals. The fact of the matter is that people couple up all the time - and many of them are shy.

Yeah, your anecdotal experience proves nothing.

I am a guy, and have been talking to other guys about stuff like this since adolescence. Most guys don't get the "signals." There are also a hundred articles online stating same.
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Old 01-29-2015, 10:16 AM
 
Location: Jupiter
9,709 posts, read 5,628,063 times
Reputation: 7291
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheSmuggler View Post
Bolded is extremely easy to say as a member of the gender that almost never faces rejection, and mostly outright refuses to put themselves out there and risk it.

Gender dynamics in the West are so screwed up and hypocritical. It's why I mostly quit playing.

I'm tired of the double standard reflected in this thread.

EDIT: Out of curiosity, how did your ex go about getting a wife from overseas? I reject the term "mail order bride" as it's inaccurate and offensive.
Comments like that lady wrote is part of the reason I took a break from dating and haven't regretted it since. I will not be shamed into approaching women. These ladies don't understand shy men at all.
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Old 01-29-2015, 10:17 AM
 
Location: Jupiter
9,709 posts, read 5,628,063 times
Reputation: 7291
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheSmuggler View Post
Yeah, your anecdotal experience proves nothing.

I am a guy, and have been talking to other guys about stuff like this since adolescence. Most guys don't get the "signals." There are also a hundred articles online stating same.
No use is saying that. Most women will argue with you about this until they're blue in the face. Outgoing guys might get signals easily. Shy men don't.
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Old 01-29-2015, 10:19 AM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,199 posts, read 20,108,653 times
Reputation: 22092
Quote:
Originally Posted by 49ersfan27 View Post
If he's outgoing, yes he can. We are talking about shy men who won't know if a woman is hitting on him unless he was clubbed on the head.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheSmuggler View Post
Yeah, your anecdotal experience proves nothing.

I am a guy, and have been talking to other guys about stuff like this since adolescence. Most guys don't get the "signals." There are also a hundred articles online stating same.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 49ersfan27 View Post
No use is saying that. Most women will argue with you about this until they're blue in the face. Outgoing guys might get signals easily. Shy men don't.
I've been asked out by shy men before. Being shy doesn't determine your entire personality. Not all shy men are the same.

You guys do know that the majority of people are in or have had relationships - right? Obviously, people are finding a way of getting together.
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Old 01-29-2015, 10:24 AM
 
Location: Jupiter
9,709 posts, read 5,628,063 times
Reputation: 7291
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdroplet76 View Post
I've been asked out by shy men before. Being shy doesn't determine your entire personality. Not all shy men are the same.

You guys do know that the majority of people are in or have had relationships - right? Obviously, people are finding a way of getting together.
Then you must be sending obvious signals. The shy guys I've met were extremely shy. I know because I work with one who is 30 and hasn't even kissed a woman yet. I might be shy but I've been on dates and got two girlfriends in a short span. Then again, they made their signals extremely obvious for me to approach.
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Old 01-29-2015, 10:32 AM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,199 posts, read 20,108,653 times
Reputation: 22092
Quote:
Originally Posted by 49ersfan27 View Post
Then you must be sending obvious signals. The shy guys I've met were extremely shy. I know because I work with one who is 30 and hasn't even kissed a woman yet. I might be shy but I've been on dates and got two girlfriends in a short span. Then again, they made their signals extremely obvious for me to approach.
Maybe - but there are a lot of things to consider here. Maybe my signals were obvious. To be honest, I'm not usually aware of the signals I'm sending out. They aren't necessarily conscious decisions. So, whether or not I'm just a natural signal sender or the guys I dated were expert signal readers or the guys were going to ask me out or make a move regardless of my signals - the end was the same. And many of the guys I dated didn't necessarily ask me out or anything - we just ended up kissing and taking it from there. I'm not really sure who made the first move.

But my point is that maybe some women are better at sending out signals, maybe some men are better at reading them, maybe some men don't care to wait for signals, maybe some women are naturally more aggressive, etc. - but people are coupling up all over the place. People that want to date that have never been on a date in their lives are the minority - not the majority.
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Old 01-29-2015, 10:36 AM
 
Location: Philadelphia, PA
545 posts, read 430,046 times
Reputation: 373
Quote:
Originally Posted by summer_land View Post
I used to be shy as well, but experiences have changed me a bit. My first relationship was with a guy who was very outgoing and I learned a few things from him. Life is too damn short to live in fear of rejection and getting the ego bruised. You know, that too shall pass...
So it took the generosity of a socially skilled guy to help improve your shyness? How fortunate it must be to have an opposite sex who would do that.
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Old 01-29-2015, 10:36 AM
 
Location: Jupiter
9,709 posts, read 5,628,063 times
Reputation: 7291
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdroplet76 View Post
Maybe - but there are a lot of things to consider here. Maybe my signals were obvious. To be honest, I'm not usually aware of the signals I'm sending out. They aren't necessarily conscious decisions. So, whether or not I'm just a natural signal sender or the guys I dated were expert signal readers or the guys were going to ask me out or make a move regardless of my signals - the end was the same. And many of the guys I dated didn't necessarily ask me out or anything - we just ended up kissing and taking it from there. I'm not really sure who made the first move.

But my point is that maybe some women are better at sending out signals, maybe some men are better at reading them, maybe some men don't care to wait for signals, maybe some women are naturally more aggressive, etc. - but people are coupling up all over the place. People that want to date that have never been on a date in their lives are the minority - not the majority.
That's fair. To be honest, I do feel bad for shy men. They want to approach women and meet them, they just can't. They can't help it.
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Old 01-29-2015, 10:39 AM
 
11,780 posts, read 8,207,985 times
Reputation: 3425
Quote:
Originally Posted by 49ersfan27 View Post
Then you must be sending obvious signals. The shy guys I've met were extremely shy. I know because I work with one who is 30 and hasn't even kissed a woman yet. I might be shy but I've been on dates and got two girlfriends in a short span. Then again, they made their signals extremely obvious for me to approach.
Where is the connection between shy guys and not getting signals coming from? Two different issues here.

A shy guy may not make a move because he is shy - regardless if he got the signal.

Someone that didn't get or understand the signal can be shy or not, but the problem here is either the guy doesn't understand the signal or the girl is being too subtle.
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Old 01-29-2015, 10:49 AM
 
Location: Jupiter
9,709 posts, read 5,628,063 times
Reputation: 7291
Quote:
Originally Posted by lycos679 View Post
Where is the connection between shy guys and not getting signals coming from? Two different issues here.

A shy guy may not make a move because he is shy - regardless if he got the signal.

Someone that didn't get or understand the signal can be shy or not, but the problem here is either the guy doesn't understand the signal or the girl is being too subtle.
What I'm getting at is that shy guys usually will never make the first move. Even if a woman is being obvious (which the majority aren't) he won't make a move. Fear of rejection is something and a shy guy won't risk it unless he knows she's into him.
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