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Ok. But you have to also understand that some shy guys might also be manipulative guys. Maybe they've been rejected a lot by women, and they're angry about this. So when they get a woman's attention, they mess with her with this hot and cold behavior because deep down they don't actually trust that she really likes them.
So she's just trying to like him, and give him signs of genuine interest, and he's blowing hot and cold because he just can't bring himself to trust her intentions.
Mixed signals beget mixed signals. If I go all in on a girl the mixed signals don't matter much because I'm just looking for a clear enough yes or no. Otherwise if I'm not all in then her mixed signals will get my mixed signals.
There is a fine line in between trusting and taking for granted that a girl likes you. Taking for granted is normally a great way to instantly kill whatever is there.
One thing about AI / learning is it is not possible without visible cues. If in your mind you have decided he could have you and you are wondering why he isn't choosing to make a decision, then you need to evaluate how you've made that clear externally. Definitely one thing you will learn from martial arts is your intentions / efforts mean nothing compared to your external impact.
You've GOT to be joking with this. If you're that paranoid, you shouldn't be dating.
I love how for women, giving "signs" and "signals" is taking the initiative. It's freaking laughable. GUYS DON'T GET YOUR SIGNALS, LADIES!!!
And yet, you're scorning this guy for not being "direct." What a bunch of hypocrites.
Signals are not an initiative. Talking is. Women think they're being obvious but they're not. Don't get mad at the guy because the guy isn't making the move. Maybe he's shy or maybe he doesn't care to make a move.
Signals are not an initiative. Talking is. Women think they're being obvious but they're not. Don't get mad at the guy because the guy isn't making the move. Maybe he's shy or maybe he doesn't care to make a move.
Exactly. And he's probably misinterpreted "signals" before many times in his life and gotten shot down.
He probably figures that if OP is interested, she'd let him know. It's not an unfair assumption.
I love these threads because the "shy guy" gets shamed up and down the block for what the female (OP) won't do either!!!
Well, tough luck, shy guys. You either risk a blow to your ego or risk being alone (I repeat ALONE) for the rest of your lives or at least many, many years. My own brother is like this and he is in his early 30's and never had a girlfriend. One of my exes, who actually has a great personality once you get to know him, but he rarely makes any move because of fear. He was single for over ten years and finally found someone (a guaranteed bride from overseas!).
I used to be shy as well, but experiences have changed me a bit. My first relationship was with a guy who was very outgoing and I learned a few things from him. Life is too damn short to live in fear of rejection and getting the ego bruised. You know, that too shall pass...
Last edited by AhRainess; 01-29-2015 at 10:53 AM..
Actually, lots of guys are great at picking up signals.
Doesn't make the OP and the other posters shaming this man for not "manning up" any less of hypocrites.
And, I also disagree with your assessment of men's ability to pick up signals. I read many, many dating advice columns, blogs, message boards etc.
One of the most common tidbits of advice given to women is that, when they think they're being totally obvious with their "signals," amp it up about 10X.
Well, tough luck, shy guys. You either risk a blow to your ego or risk being alone (I repeat ALONE) for the rest of your lives or at least many, many years. My own brother is like this and he is in his early 30's and never had a girlfriend. One of my exes, who actually has a great personality once you get to know him, but he rarely makes any move because of fear. He was single for over ten years and finally found someone (a guaranteed mail order bride!).
I used to be shy as well, but experiences have changed me a bit. My first relationship was with a guy who was very outgoing and I learned a few things from him. Life is too damn short to live in fear of rejection and getting the ego bruised. You know, that too shall pass...
Bolded is extremely easy to say as a member of the gender that almost never faces rejection, and mostly outright refuses to put themselves out there and risk it.
Gender dynamics in the West are so screwed up and hypocritical. It's why I mostly quit playing.
I'm tired of the double standard reflected in this thread.
EDIT: Out of curiosity, how did your ex go about getting a wife from overseas? I reject the term "mail order bride" as it's inaccurate and offensive.
Last edited by TheSmuggler; 01-29-2015 at 10:09 AM..
Reason: Added more
Well, tough luck, shy guys. You either risk a blow to your ego or risk being alone (I repeat ALONE) for the rest of your lives or at least many, many years. My own brother is like this and he is in his early 30's and never had a girlfriend. One of my exes, who actually has a great personality once you get to know him, but he rarely makes any move because of fear. He was single for over ten years and finally found someone (a guaranteed mail order bride!).
I used to be shy as well, but experiences have changed me a bit. My first relationship was with a guy who was very outgoing and I learned a few things from him. Life is too damn short to live in fear of rejection and getting the ego bruised. You know, that too shall pass...
Some shy guys are tired of being rejected and I don't blame them. So, they stay alone. I'm shy, I have not asked a woman out since me and my girlfriend broke up 3 months ago. I'm not putting my ego on the line for any woman anytime soon.
Doesn't make the OP and the other posters shaming this man for not "manning up" any less of hypocrites.
And, I also disagree with your assessment of men's ability to pick up signals. I read many, many dating advice columns, blogs, message boards etc.
One of the most common tidbits of advice given to women is that, when they think they're being totally obvious with their "signals," amp it up about 10X.
Well, all I know is that almost every guy I've been interested in has made a move on me - so either they have all been great at picking up signals or they didn't care if I was giving out signals or not. Or maybe I'm just really good at giving out signals. The fact of the matter is that people couple up all the time - and many of them are shy.
Actually, lots of guys are great at picking up signals.
If he's outgoing, yes he can. We are talking about shy men who won't know if a woman is hitting on him unless he was clubbed on the head.
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