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Old 01-29-2015, 03:40 PM
 
376 posts, read 317,105 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hivemind31 View Post
Did you not notice that I was agreeing with you, mostly?
I did, but you disagreed with my conclusion. To wit, that in 30-40 years marriage will be almost nonexistent.

That's why I posted the graph.

What do you think is going to happen WRT the current trajectory of the marriage rate?

People can argue all day about the how's and the why's, but I'm interested in what people think is going to happen next.

That's where the rubber meets the road.
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Old 01-29-2015, 03:46 PM
 
4,613 posts, read 4,784,008 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheSmuggler View Post
I did, but you disagreed with my conclusion. To wit, that in 30-40 years marriage will be almost nonexistent.

That's why I posted the graph.

What do you think is going to happen WRT the current trajectory of the marriage rate?

People can argue all day about the how's and the why's, but I'm interested in what people think is going to happen next.

That's where the rubber meets the road.
Ahh. Then in answer to you question (and assuming the rate continues to decline for the reasons you suggested and not other ones), I refer to the latter half of my previous post, that the rate will begin to stabilize as either:

a) more men become willing to marry as their potential options widen
and/or
b) women that are hardcore about wanting to get married lower their expectations to do so. You can begin to see this already, albeit in very small doses.

Mathematically, I'd suggest a hyperbolic curve. There's some assumptions to be made here, I'm just answering your question using the ones you mention in earlier posts, some of which I find to be reasonable.
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Old 01-29-2015, 03:51 PM
 
376 posts, read 317,105 times
Reputation: 220
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hivemind31 View Post
Ahh. Then in answer to you question (and assuming the rate continues to decline for the reasons you suggested and not other ones), I refer to the latter half of my previous post, that the rate will begin to stabilize as either:

a) more men become willing to marry as their potential options widen
and/or
b) women that are hardcore about wanting to get married lower their expectations to do so. You can begin to see this already, albeit in very small doses.

Mathematically, I'd suggest a hyperbolic curve. There's some assumptions to be made here, I'm just answering your question using the ones you mention in earlier posts, some of which I find to be reasonable.

Interesting, and very plausible.
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Old 01-29-2015, 04:46 PM
 
8,914 posts, read 6,210,896 times
Reputation: 12144
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheSmuggler View Post
Like I stated, my main reasons for eschewing marriage are the unfair and slanted courts and gender relations in Western civilization. In case anyone doubts my dedication to this ideal, I've had two different LTR's deteriorate and fail because I refused to marry.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Checkered24 View Post
I see where you are coming from. I think it is a shame that you let your desire to be married, and two potential relationships which could have achieved that go down the drain because of your fear of the uncertainty of the future and perception of the courts, and a hypothetical situation your putting yourself in.
I can understand where TheSmuggler is coming from on the courts issue. My childfree status is influenced by a similar way of thinking. I am strongly turned off by the meddling government (child protective services, etc) and other nosy parties who don't respect different parenting styles. If I was to bring children into this world, I would expect to be able to raise them as I (and a spouse) see fit without interference from social workers, teachers and other parents. I would honestly be reluctant to taken them out in public because some busybody would be passing judgement on how I may be disciplining or teaching them. I have concluded that depriving society of more hypothetical members is the way to go. It just seems like parents (at least in urban and suburban locations) do not have the freedom to instill their own values anymore without incurring the wrath of someone else who will summon the authorities on them over something ridiculous.

Of course this is only one of several concerns I have with having children in contemporary western society.
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Old 01-29-2015, 05:00 PM
 
8,914 posts, read 6,210,896 times
Reputation: 12144
Quote:
Originally Posted by Djuna View Post
How long have you despised the entire opposite gender? Were you breastfeed?
What exactly does breastfeeding have to do with an adult man's emotional outlook? My mother is diabetic and was told not breastfeed by her doctor for health reasons (this was 40 years ago) but she still provided warmth, compassion and a nurturing environment to her children through hugging, holding and other physical interaction.
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Old 01-29-2015, 05:09 PM
 
Location: moved
13,609 posts, read 9,644,958 times
Reputation: 23390
People who are suspicious of marriage, or who regard it as needless straightjacket, or as some antiquated institution obsolesced by modern thinking, of course do best not to marry; the financial consequences are moot. Their problem is not looming threat of divorce, but discomfort with marriage itself. More relevant to our theme here, is people who are very much in principle interested in marrying (or remarrying), but who have substantial assets, vested defined-benefit pensions, businesses and so forth. Such persons have conflicting desires: to enjoy the emotional security of marriage, and the financial security of keeping one's money strictly to oneself. This is an especially contentious issue for persons who don't wish to have children.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jillabean View Post
Interesting tid bit to point out how much people worry... say you are a college educated person, married in your late 20s, you help out around the house, earn more than $50k a year as a couple, marry someone who gets along with their parents, etc.... your chances of being divorced reach as low as 20%. ...

That said, I am one of those worriers (so to speak). I am afraid to get married again. But I am also capable of understanding that it's my own, personal hangup and that statically, things are in favor or most marriages working just fine....
The first paragraph above describes me. I was 25 when I met my future fiancee, 30 when we got married, and 39 when we divorced. I began seriously investing at 20. It so happened that when I was 30, the stock market was at its nadir. Then it rose substantially. So gains on my premarital assets, were they to have been split 50/50, would have been a most devastating divorce settlement. My former spouse earned 10% of what I earned. That was enough for her to maintain herself, but left nothing for savings/investment. Meanwhile, I've had a lifelong habit of living on 7% of my paycheck (really, no idle hyperbole there), saving the rest.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Checkered24 View Post
Do you not trust yourself to make an analytically sound, educated decision to marry someone you would have presumably gotten to know, who shares your monetary values, is in a similar financial situation thereby avoiding much financial risk, and who agrees with you on how your financial picture as a couple would proceed going forward?
15 years ago I would have thus trusted myself. Today I'm more circumspect.
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Old 01-29-2015, 07:13 PM
 
36,226 posts, read 30,664,456 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheSmuggler View Post
You mean like men have been doing since time immemorial? I've just marked you down as a huge sexist, so at least that came out of the offensive, hypocritical comment.

Women are absolutely favored in the legal system, and not just in divorce court, this is easily backed up with stats and research. To say anything else is beyond absurd.
Yes, exactly and thank you.

Back up you facts and research and show me some law that is written gender specific especially divorce law.
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Old 01-30-2015, 11:20 AM
 
376 posts, read 317,105 times
Reputation: 220
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares View Post
Yes, exactly and thank you.

Back up you facts and research and show me some law that is written gender specific especially divorce law.
Ahh, a tricky turn of phrase, and one in which you know you are being obtuse and willfully ignorant.

It is how the law is applied and administered, not how it is written, that makes it slanted, sexist and unfair.
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Old 01-30-2015, 11:22 AM
 
9,408 posts, read 13,715,235 times
Reputation: 20394
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheSmuggler View Post
Take that poster's sentiments with a dump truck of salt, she has a real problem with men.
Nope, I have no problems with men at all. I do have a problem however with your particular women bashing style. You appear to have an innate dislike of the whole gender, and that is called gender bashing on this forum.
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Old 01-30-2015, 11:22 AM
 
4,613 posts, read 4,784,008 times
Reputation: 4098
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheSmuggler View Post
Ahh, a tricky turn of phrase, and one in which you know you are being obtuse and willfully ignorant.

It is how the law is applied and administered, not how it is written, that makes it slanted, sexist and unfair.
I like your posts. I may not agree with everything 100%, but you have a better than average level of personal insight, which is something that's difficult to assess online.
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