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Old 01-30-2015, 03:22 PM
 
5,121 posts, read 5,342,256 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheSmuggler View Post
1. Because there's nothing in it for them. Women marry primarily for financial gain, security and stability.

2. For sex/companionship.
I wish I could find the men of #2. That's all I want in a relationship and have been looking for three years now, someone to be a friend, companion, and lover. But like I said earlier I keep running into men who want very serious relationships and want to marry . (and, yes, I know it's just anecdotal and has no bearing on this discussion since it's just me and my experience. But seriously, where are these men who just want a girlfriend without it having to lead to more? I swear it's like trying to find Bigfoot or something)
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Old 01-30-2015, 03:23 PM
 
Location: Cumberland Co., TN
20,301 posts, read 20,739,450 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheSmuggler View Post
1. Because there's nothing in it for them. Women marry primarily for financial gain, security and stability.

2. For sex/companionship.
LOL. Ok, more women are educated, in STEM fields, outpacing men. Granted women are concerned with security and stability but with growing incomes a working spouse will do or if their income is great enough they already have money so no need to marry up.

Why do men need to marry for sex and companionship. Just as women have financial gain, security and stability without marriage men can have sex and companionship without marriage.
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Old 01-30-2015, 03:29 PM
 
376 posts, read 237,188 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares View Post
LOL. Ok, more women are educated, in STEM fields, outpacing men. Granted women are concerned with security and stability but with growing incomes a working spouse will do or if their income is great enough they already have money so no need to marry up.

Why do men need to marry for sex and companionship. Just as women have financial gain, security and stability without marriage men can have sex and companionship without marriage.

Sorry, you're just too off base with the trends. I have neither the time nor the inclination to get you up to speed.
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Old 01-30-2015, 05:18 PM
 
Location: Nashville, TN
5,332 posts, read 2,940,204 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hivemind31 View Post
Gotta cut in here. One (men/alimony statement) does not prove the other (women marrying up). One, or both could be true, but one doesn't prove the other.
That's right.

I'm going to get a little off topic here, but bear with me: at least some alimony cases involve women who gave up their careers to raise their children. And why did they give up their careers? Because that's often what's expected of women, lest they be considered terrible mothers. The thinking in educated middle and upper middle class environments commonly is, What kind of a mother works and puts her children into daycare ? Only one who cares about money more than the welfare of her children.

Gosh, when I decided I wanted to return to work part-time after being at home for 8 years, the reactions I received from other parents, my MIL, neighbors, etc. would have made someone think I was abandoning my kids on a lonely highway somewhere in the middle of the night during a snowstorm. In reality, I was going to work 10 minutes away for 20 hours per week, and they were going to be with a sitter for half that time (but I STILL felt guilty). Thank goodness my former husband supported my decision (kind of), but I know other husbands who did NOT want their wives working. Like, ever (no, I'm not making that up).

So, given how much working mothers are frowned upon, and the lack of support they receive (ridiculously short maternity leaves, etc), it's no wonder so many American women drop out of the workforce (or decide to forego having kids altogether). Are women who haven't worked outside the home for years supposed to receive nothing if they divorce? Should they live in the street?

Honestly, women are damned if they do and damned if they don't. Can't win for tryin'.

Oh, and I married "up," I suppose (my ex-husband made more money than I). I'm not interested in marrying again, but if I ever did remarry, hypothetically speaking, marrying "up" would not be important to me.
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Old 01-30-2015, 06:23 PM
 
33,310 posts, read 23,144,046 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares View Post
LOL. Ok, more women are educated, in STEM fields, outpacing men. Granted women are concerned with security and stability but with growing incomes a working spouse will do or if their income is great enough they already have money so no need to marry up.

Why do men need to marry for sex and companionship. Just as women have financial gain, security and stability without marriage men can have sex and companionship without marriage.
Men still outpace women in stem fields by a great margin, but otherwise you're spot on.
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Old 01-30-2015, 06:31 PM
 
6,940 posts, read 4,515,848 times
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Some comments on financially asymmetric marriages and divorce, by a fellow who's been there...

I can't speak to child-support and custody-issues, as I'm child-free. But as regards alimony and division of property, courts favor the less affluent partner, regardless of gender. Despite large income/asset disparity with my former wife, I did NOT pay alimony or surrender any claim to my pension. Why? Because overall, my ex was a fairly decent human being. We had an amicable divorce, which was expensive for me, and set her for life... but it could have been enormously more expensive for me, had the matter been contested in court.

Here's the bottom line, summarizing so many of my recent posts:

1. In bygone times, a person (generally the man) could exploit financial asymmetry in the mating game. Today this is a far less promising strategy.

2. In bygone times, the financially wealthier spouse (again generally the man) enjoyed asymmetry of control in the marriage, and was under minimal threat of divorce. Courts - to the extent that divorce was possible at all - tended to side with the wealthier partner, especially once lawyers were involved.

3. It was always true that "a fool and his money are soon parted". But today the "fool" isn't necessary abjectly obtuse, and the "soon" can be forestalled for decades, before crashing suddenly one day.

4. Today we have more opportunities than in the past, but also more threats.
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Old 01-30-2015, 07:32 PM
 
Location: Nashville, TN
5,332 posts, read 2,940,204 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
For me, learning, creating (whatever, music, art,whatever), and making connections with people I care about, as friends, lovers, etc is what drives life. That and seeing the world (travel).


Too few people think this way, imo.
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Old 01-30-2015, 07:39 PM
 
Location: Nashville, TN
5,332 posts, read 2,940,204 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
And lets stop with that women initiate 75% of the divorce garbage. Filing /= initiating. There is zero evidence women initiate that percentage of divorces.
Thank you, timber! Good post.
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Old 01-30-2015, 10:22 PM
 
Location: NY
9,040 posts, read 14,372,949 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheSmuggler View Post
We're talking averages here. Most women still marry up. Marrying down may be trending, but is nowhere near the norm, nor will it ever be, IMO.
Wait, a lot of your argument is that marriage will be all gone soon, based on what is (dropping marriage rates), but someone else cannot make an argument based on trends? Please.
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Old 01-31-2015, 12:29 AM
 
Location: Spokane, Washington
619 posts, read 484,861 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AtkinsonDan View Post
But have those scientists followed the process all the way through yet? Sure they have gotten cell division to occur but are there other substances in the spermatoza that are critical and come into play later in the reproductive process? That chemical may initiate cell division but can it replicate the DNA and do whatever else required to turn an egg into a little human?

I'm no scientist but I believe that reproduction from only one set of DNA (in this case the mother's) would have worse consequences that what normally occurs from incest.
Only in rats according to the article I read. They looked like normal to me...of course they haven't been taken through a maize yet.
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