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Old 01-24-2015, 09:36 PM
 
5 posts, read 2,107 times
Reputation: 18

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Currently I am a 18 year old senior, who already decided on college for a sport and ready for the newest journey of the chapter. Although it seems that my life sounds amazing with a future ahead, there are some problems with my relationship aspect of my life. On October of 2014, I had broken my left middle finger and I was out for two months of my sport and a non functioning left hand. With trying to maintain my grades for college and missing school for check ups because of my finger, I just was completely run over by stress and depression. Usually I attack my stress and depression through my sport but due to inactivity and not being able to play the sport, I was unable to do anything but to ponder on my stress. But aside from that I had been dating a girl for a year of my junior year and she was easily my first true love. She believed in me that I could go to my dream school (in which I did) and was overall very supportive. However, due to my injury and my absence of sport, I just became really dependent of her and became really clingy, trying to get the most of her attention and making her do my work. Eventually on November, she decided that she wanted space away from me and it just really got to me. I was mentally and physically unstable and I was just defeated. I cried and I had wished that I have never broken my finger. It was the worst time of my life. I kind of expected our relationship was over. I was shocked and it was hard to accept. Aside from my sad story, I missed the opportunity to compete at the winter junior nationals last winter and that's where it all began. My team had been hitting on my ex, knowing that she was single and it just made me really jealous and mad. I am the jealous type. Hearing all this made me react in a way to where I verbally abused the girl. I know I made the wrong decision as I said all this and I knew I messed up. I regret every single thing I've said but she wanted no contact from me whatsoever. I know it was over. The people on her swim team had recently told me that she is trying to develop a thing with a guy on my team and I was just hurt and sad. What hurt me was that no one on my sports team told me anything about the guy developing a relationship and stuff like that. I just felt beetrayed and I eventually moved teams. I couldn't trust anyone. Just recently on Jamuary, I decided to
Text her and say my apologies for all I've done. She understands but again she told me that she wasn't mad anymore but wanted to be acquainted for now. Which I don't really understand because does this mean that she still considers me or what. I need honest answers please and thank you!
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Old 01-24-2015, 09:52 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
39,209 posts, read 37,829,922 times
Reputation: 73980
I have boys your age.

It sounds like you had a bit of an identity crisis, once your sport was taken away. It's not unusual, but it's a wake-up call about the importance of having more than one interest and a network of people you can trust.

I do think you need to let her go and learn from this, as hard as it is.

You can't see it yet, but there is a whole world and a ton of new people waiting for you. If you can take care of yourself, talk about your feelings to adults you trust, and keep a positive approach, you will make it.
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Old 01-24-2015, 09:58 PM
 
3,187 posts, read 2,818,467 times
Reputation: 1855
It's over, but don't stress so much about it.

You'll have new teammates and be surrounded by a ton of new single, attractive women your age at college, and you'll have everyone involved in this drama replaced by newer and better before you know it. Yeah, none of them are HER though, which is what/who you really want right now, but frankly that was a loss that was coming anyway: very few HS relationships going into college survive freshmen year if the couple is going to different schools, and almost none of them survive through graduation; keep that in mind when you are feeling particularly maudlin about it.
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Old 01-24-2015, 09:58 PM
 
5 posts, read 2,107 times
Reputation: 18
Thank you for the reply
As I said before, I get really jealous really easy and the girl that she likes is one of my school
mates and is in two of my classes. It's really tough to see him because of the anger I have towards him. At school, he is a notorious a**hole and every girl has mean things to say about him. He is does not take other people's thoughts into consideration. Out of all the people she could of chose, why him? It just makes me digusted and I get bother by it pretty easily. I don't know how I should react to this and what I should do. We used to swim on the same team but ever since I left and started the new school year, I have yet to speak to him ever since.
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Old 01-24-2015, 10:02 PM
 
5 posts, read 2,107 times
Reputation: 18
Question for both:

What are some ideal ways to forget about your first love?
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Old 01-24-2015, 10:04 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
13,606 posts, read 11,080,425 times
Reputation: 24143
Its over, dude. Move on. You'll slowly forget about her once you're in college.
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Old 01-24-2015, 10:04 PM
 
Location: Viña del Mar, Chile
16,416 posts, read 25,241,837 times
Reputation: 16469
I realize it seems important now, but give it a bit of time and a new babe and you'll forget about this one. "True love" can always be replace by a hotter, nicer girl.
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Old 01-24-2015, 10:08 PM
 
3,352 posts, read 2,146,366 times
Reputation: 2232
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoBearsBoys View Post
Currently I am a 18 year old senior, who already decided on college for a sport and ready for the newest journey of the chapter. Although it seems that my life sounds amazing with a future ahead, there are some problems with my relationship aspect of my life. On October of 2014, I had broken my left middle finger and I was out for two months of my sport and a non functioning left hand. With trying to maintain my grades for college and missing school for check ups because of my finger, I just was completely run over by stress and depression. Usually I attack my stress and depression through my sport but due to inactivity and not being able to play the sport, I was unable to do anything but to ponder on my stress. But aside from that I had been dating a girl for a year of my junior year and she was easily my first true love. She believed in me that I could go to my dream school (in which I did) and was overall very supportive. However, due to my injury and my absence of sport, I just became really dependent of her and became really clingy, trying to get the most of her attention and making her do my work. Eventually on November, she decided that she wanted space away from me and it just really got to me. I was mentally and physically unstable and I was just defeated. I cried and I had wished that I have never broken my finger. It was the worst time of my life. I kind of expected our relationship was over. I was shocked and it was hard to accept. Aside from my sad story, I missed the opportunity to compete at the winter junior nationals last winter and that's where it all began. My team had been hitting on my ex, knowing that she was single and it just made me really jealous and mad. I am the jealous type. Hearing all this made me react in a way to where I verbally abused the girl. I know I made the wrong decision as I said all this and I knew I messed up. I regret every single thing I've said but she wanted no contact from me whatsoever. I know it was over. The people on her swim team had recently told me that she is trying to develop a thing with a guy on my team and I was just hurt and sad. What hurt me was that no one on my sports team told me anything about the guy developing a relationship and stuff like that. I just felt beetrayed and I eventually moved teams. I couldn't trust anyone. Just recently on Jamuary, I decided to
Text her and say my apologies for all I've done. She understands but again she told me that she wasn't mad anymore but wanted to be acquainted for now. Which I don't really understand because does this mean that she still considers me or what. I need honest answers please and thank you!
you are 18,there are plenty of girls
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Old 01-24-2015, 10:10 PM
 
5 posts, read 2,107 times
Reputation: 18
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sommie789 View Post
you are 18,there are plenty of girls
Are there ways to forget that person?
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Old 01-24-2015, 10:13 PM
 
3,187 posts, read 2,818,467 times
Reputation: 1855
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoBearsBoys View Post
Question for both:

What are some ideal ways to forget about your first love?
You never forget about it, but you do get over it. How? Time first and foremost, second other women, third keeping yourself busy in general.

For the moment though, try to just enjoy the other things in life rather than focusing on this. The period between getting into and going to college is a glorious time of zero worries or responsibilities at an age when you are old enough to have a certain degree of freedom and young enough to be healthy and able to do anything you want -- it's an idyllic, irreplaceable, and short time in your life that you won't get back if you spend it in a funk. Don't let being over your highschool relationship breakup coming a year early relative to when it probably would have otherwise ruin it for you.
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