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Old 01-26-2015, 11:52 AM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,199 posts, read 20,219,844 times
Reputation: 22098

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Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
People aren't static being once they get into a relationship. People do change.
Yes - but some changes are understandable and some aren't. If my husband all of a sudden became a religious nut and expected me to obey him - then it wouldn't be that he simply change a bit. It would mean that he really was not longer the man the I fell in love with and vowed to spend the rest of my life with.
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Old 01-26-2015, 11:55 AM
 
33,044 posts, read 22,948,956 times
Reputation: 30056
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdroplet76 View Post
Yes - but some changes are understandable and some aren't. If my husband all of a sudden became a religious nut and expected me to obey him - then it wouldn't be that he simply change a bit. It would mean that he really was not longer the man the I fell in love with and vowed to spend the rest of my life with.

Oh sure, this is an extreme example. But that poster certainly seems to have "dump them" as their answer to almost every situation and I think their expectation that a person or a relationship doesn't change and never has issues might be part of that perception.
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Old 01-26-2015, 12:02 PM
 
16,724 posts, read 13,801,483 times
Reputation: 41007
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
People aren't static being once they get into a relationship. People do change.
Sure they do. But not religions, not the way he is doing. Come on now.
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Old 01-26-2015, 12:05 PM
 
Location: MA
1,623 posts, read 1,267,475 times
Reputation: 3015
[quote=convextech;38181079]Sure they do. But not religions, not the way he is doing. Come on now.[/quote


People do change religions.....I'm wondering how you came up with that gem of wisdom
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Old 01-26-2015, 12:06 PM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,199 posts, read 20,219,844 times
Reputation: 22098
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
Oh sure, this is an extreme example. But that poster certainly seems to have "dump them" as their answer to almost every situation and I think their expectation that a person or a relationship doesn't change and never has issues might be part of that perception.
But in this case, I honestly couldn't see myself staying married to my husband if he changed in this manner. I understand that you might have an issue with the poster - but let's not lose sight of the issue at hand. This is more than just an acceptable change.
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Old 01-26-2015, 12:08 PM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,199 posts, read 20,219,844 times
Reputation: 22098
Quote:
Originally Posted by convextech View Post
Sure they do. But not religions, not the way he is doing. Come on now.
Quote:
Originally Posted by stormynh View Post


People do change religions.....I'm wondering how you came up with that gem of wisdom
Yes, people do change religions. But unless both partners change religions together - it can be a change too severe to overcome as a couple. I'm pretty much an atheist. My husband is non-religious. If either one of us were to become a religious fanatic and start imposing our beliefs on our spouse or our family - it might be the end of our marriage.
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Old 01-26-2015, 12:11 PM
 
16,724 posts, read 13,801,483 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdroplet76 View Post
Yes, people do change religions. But unless both partners change religions together - it can be a change too severe to overcome as a couple. I'm pretty much an atheist. My husband is non-religious. If either one of us were to become a religious fanatic and start imposing our beliefs on our spouse or our family - it might be the end of our marriage.
Exactly my point.
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Old 01-26-2015, 12:14 PM
 
Location: MA
1,623 posts, read 1,267,475 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by convextech View Post
Exactly my point.

No...once again your point was to "dump" your husband"
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Old 01-26-2015, 12:20 PM
 
16,724 posts, read 13,801,483 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stormynh View Post
No...once again your point was to "dump" your husband"
Yep, if he took up a religion and took it to this level without discussing it with me, I sure would. Buh-bye!
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Old 01-26-2015, 12:20 PM
 
Location: NW AR
2,438 posts, read 2,054,118 times
Reputation: 2250
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdroplet76 View Post
Yes - but some changes are understandable and some aren't. If my husband all of a sudden became a religious nut and expected me to obey him - then it wouldn't be that he simply change a bit. It would mean that he really was not longer the man the I fell in love with and vowed to spend the rest of my life with.
I think her husband wants out.. but is wearing an "odd shirt" in order to do it. I'd be the one to pack his suitcase and get him an apartment, so he could read his new book. It's not that I don't have patience, I would just help him to get honest and the transitional stage would be lethal for me--- so he would have to do that, all alone.
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