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Old 01-25-2015, 12:12 PM
 
Location: Northern VA (for now)
23,003 posts, read 31,957,905 times
Reputation: 30387

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So this weekend, the Diss has had a friend form outta town sleep on his couch for a convention that is in town. Last night, after I returned from a night out, he comes back from his convention and we have a chat before going to sleep. The topic of relationships comes up, he gets into his relationship dilemma. I figure it would be good to get insight since he and I are friends with my woman friend in question and since he is early 30s he has more experience in dealing with women.

The story I told him is about the night that my friend got drunk and was kissing and touching all over me. Then I lay out more aspects of my woman friend's and I relationship like me being the only male friend that she invites out to events alone. She calls me for advice on relationships. She seems to really trust me, even inviting me to her place on a one on one basis a couple of times.

He says there is a lot of compelling evidence that she may like me more than a friend. Then, he asks if I am her friend because I have a crush on her or really have a friendship with her? I answered the latter. I say she has a lot of what I would want in a woman. I say the reason why I haven't been more wanting to figure this out is because I value her friendship and I hate to have it turn awkward if I read her incorrectly and/or we don't work out otherwise.

He says if I want to be more than her friend I should show more interest in that romantic direction.

I just don't know C-D nation. I don't even know if I want to date at all this time. But a pretty compatible person who may actually reciprocate my interest doesn't come along every day.

Anyone care to contribute.
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Old 01-25-2015, 12:21 PM
 
Location: SF Bay Area
13,349 posts, read 16,519,237 times
Reputation: 19640
Is this you?


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tqhQGYwZYB4
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Old 01-25-2015, 12:34 PM
 
Location: Northern VA (for now)
23,003 posts, read 31,957,905 times
Reputation: 30387
Quote:
Originally Posted by jaypee View Post
Hell naw that ain't me. #1 I'd never do that type of delicate in public. #2 I'm working on a Master's degree. I'd like to think I would find a lot better wording to use. #3 If she has said ONCE she ain't interested, I drop the matter.
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Old 01-25-2015, 12:40 PM
 
1,287 posts, read 889,033 times
Reputation: 1716
If this is something that doesn't happen all the time, and you like her, then you need to act on it. No matter what the outcome, if you have interest, you should always make the move. Having "what ifs" in our short lives, is unacceptable.
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Old 01-25-2015, 02:07 PM
 
318 posts, read 397,478 times
Reputation: 636
.
.... My thought is to enjoy the one you really, truly enjoy talking with. Everything else is just extra gravy. Time will tell...

.
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Old 01-25-2015, 02:11 PM
 
35,121 posts, read 37,816,014 times
Reputation: 61840
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter View Post
So this weekend, the Diss has had a friend form outta town sleep on his couch for a convention that is in town. Last night, after I returned from a night out, he comes back from his convention and we have a chat before going to sleep. The topic of relationships comes up, he gets into his relationship dilemma. I figure it would be good to get insight since he and I are friends with my woman friend in question and since he is early 30s he has more experience in dealing with women.

The story I told him is about the night that my friend got drunk and was kissing and touching all over me. Then I lay out more aspects of my woman friend's and I relationship like me being the only male friend that she invites out to events alone. She calls me for advice on relationships. She seems to really trust me, even inviting me to her place on a one on one basis a couple of times.

He says there is a lot of compelling evidence that she may like me more than a friend. Then, he asks if I am her friend because I have a crush on her or really have a friendship with her? I answered the latter. I say she has a lot of what I would want in a woman. I say the reason why I haven't been more wanting to figure this out is because I value her friendship and I hate to have it turn awkward if I read her incorrectly and/or we don't work out otherwise.

He says if I want to be more than her friend I should show more interest in that romantic direction.

I just don't know C-D nation. I don't even know if I want to date at all this time. But a pretty compatible person who may actually reciprocate my interest doesn't come along every day.

Anyone care to contribute.

Why don't you just ask her instead of telling your friends about your semi intimate moments when she was kissing you etc? It seems to me it would be easier and quicker to find out what she wants and less embarassing for her if/when she finds out you have been telling your friends what she has done in private.
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Old 01-25-2015, 02:36 PM
 
Location: Northern VA (for now)
23,003 posts, read 31,957,905 times
Reputation: 30387
Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610 View Post
Why don't you just ask her instead of telling your friends about your semi intimate moments when she was kissing you etc? It seems to me it would be easier and quicker to find out what she wants and less embarassing for her if/when she finds out you have been telling your friends what she has done in private.
Because I don't even know if I want to pursue this. Once the genie leaves the lamp on this matter you ain't getting him back in. I've told one friend who is very trustworthy. Also, the semi intimate moment was at a club so not like it is a big secret.
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Old 01-25-2015, 06:29 PM
 
Location: Canada
8,696 posts, read 7,773,462 times
Reputation: 17925
I think I'd leave this one alone. You don't even know if you want to be dating right now and, if you're unsure, you could torpedo your friendship with this woman for nothing. How long have you been friends with her?
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Old 01-25-2015, 06:42 PM
 
Location: Northern VA (for now)
23,003 posts, read 31,957,905 times
Reputation: 30387
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011 View Post
I think I'd leave this one alone. You don't even know if you want to be dating right now and, if you're unsure, you could torpedo your friendship with this woman for nothing. How long have you been friends with her?
We've been friends the same amount of time I've been back in DC. About three years. I'm sorta leaning leave this alone as well.
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Old 01-25-2015, 06:43 PM
 
Location: Pa
42,565 posts, read 42,416,857 times
Reputation: 24873
Ask her out.
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