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Old 01-28-2015, 02:52 PM
 
4 posts, read 2,628 times
Reputation: 10

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I just recenlty got divorced, not something I wanted. It wasn't because there was another woman or man in our lives, it was because of his adult kids. When my husband and I were married things were great, I and his children had no problems when they came over including staying for the weekend. Vacations were planned around his kids as well as mos weekends. Then his two oldest ones moved in. First the oldest who is now 23 and the middle child who is now 21. They wanted me out as soon as they moved in. They wanted to bring whomever they wanted to the house and have parties. Their dad worked long hours so it was things they could easily get away with as long as I wasn't in the picture. The oldest who to this day still calls his farther "Daddy" would call him up at his work and cry how I was yelling and screaming at him. I had no idea this was happening till his father came home mad at me for the way I treated his son. When my husband and I got into a fight he would allow his sons to get involved, and when my husband and I would fight he would not talk to me. One time it was 3 months later he talked to me. I tried talking to him, but it would make his anger towards me even worse. His oldest son said to him one day, "Daddy I know this 30 year old, and I told her all about you and she want's to meet you, she's better than Sara". My husband didn't say boo peep to this kid, he just went off to meet her. My husband doesn't want his kids to dislike him, he believe that as long as he is their best friend they will love him forever. I left him over a year ago, we had a huge fight and his kids once again got involved. Once I left there was no contact. Then he hired a lawyer and filed for divorce still with no contact. I reached out to him, and we talked for a bit. He asked what if we were to try and get back togehter, and I said we would have to go to marriage counceling. He told me he still had feelings for me, but that he can see that I run away from my problems. He said that he doesn't need counceling, because it would all be about his kids and he knows I want him to hate them. A week before the divorce he again told me he still had feelings for me, but we were still getting divorce, he even cried while saying this. He gave me this big hug. The day of the divorce he wanted to sit and hold hands with me, which I didn't. It seems to me he got this divorce to satisfy his sons, after all they told him that if he brought me back to the house they would have a problem with him. I know that you will ask me why do I want him back, and right now I couldn't tell you why. But maybe as time goes on I will see why. My question is will he eventually try to come back?
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Old 01-28-2015, 03:02 PM
 
Location: Terra
2,827 posts, read 3,061,072 times
Reputation: 3331
Your ex-husband is a pansy. Why do you like such a weak fool?

Don't date people with kids.
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Old 01-28-2015, 03:17 PM
 
3,759 posts, read 2,919,197 times
Reputation: 12007
Quote:
Originally Posted by jsun556 View Post
Your ex-husband is a pansy. Why do you like such a weak fool?

Don't date people with kids.
Those kind, yeah.

Is it possible to reconcile? Not if nothing has changed. And here nothing has changed.
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Old 01-28-2015, 03:22 PM
 
Location: Greater LA area
15,747 posts, read 11,799,514 times
Reputation: 30619
Quote:
Originally Posted by carnivalday View Post
Those kind, yeah.

Is it possible to reconcile? Not if nothing has changed. And here nothing has changed.
^^^ well said
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Old 01-28-2015, 03:26 PM
 
Location: Great Plains
25,584 posts, read 30,567,408 times
Reputation: 22713
First, why would you want to reconcile?

Second, why would you think it was a good idea.

Third, what would change? Nothing.

Nothing changes. Ever.
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Old 01-28-2015, 05:58 PM
 
4 posts, read 2,628 times
Reputation: 10
People change all the time.
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Old 01-28-2015, 06:06 PM
 
Location: Great Plains
25,584 posts, read 30,567,408 times
Reputation: 22713
Not really. The core of a person and their personality stays the same through essentially their whole life.

People don't change.

You get back together and a year down the road you are in the same exact boat you were to begin with.
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Old 01-28-2015, 06:22 PM
 
Location: Naptowne, Alaska
15,596 posts, read 34,590,293 times
Reputation: 14657
Boot the free loading kids out of the house.
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Old 01-28-2015, 06:26 PM
 
Location: The point of no return, er, NorCal
6,947 posts, read 4,249,872 times
Reputation: 8932
Reconcile in this case? Nope.
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Old 01-28-2015, 06:47 PM
YAZ
 
Location: Phoenix,AZ
7,069 posts, read 11,459,327 times
Reputation: 6287
I was sixteen when I began living with my stepmother. While some rules changed and it was quite an adjustment, I knew that if I didn't comply I would feel the wrath of my father.

The 23 & 21 year olds should get their own place if they want to party. "Daddy" has a life now.
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