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Old 01-29-2015, 03:09 PM
 
11,780 posts, read 8,216,231 times
Reputation: 3425

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Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck View Post
We have beat the assistance dead horse plenty...
I don't think we have. I could buy a brand new R1 with what I paid in taxes last year/this coming Apr. 15. Yet you say you are buying houses, have a car almost as expensive as mine (when mine was new), and getting assistance. It's pretty offensive and gives the right wingers credibility.

 
Old 01-29-2015, 03:42 PM
 
10,026 posts, read 8,863,169 times
Reputation: 5888
Quote:
Originally Posted by lycos679 View Post
I don't think we have. I could buy a brand new R1 with what I paid in taxes last year/this coming Apr. 15. Yet you say you are buying houses, have a car almost as expensive as mine (when mine was new), and getting assistance. It's pretty offensive and gives the right wingers credibility.
Exactly. I realize there are people who need the help but the OP clearly doesn't if she is buying new cars and houses. If she is truthful she has a leeching mentality and that is not desirable to most people. I would never date a man on welfare whether he has kids or not if he is doing nothing to better himself. A man on welfare who as bragging about what he owns would really repulse me.
 
Old 01-29-2015, 03:44 PM
 
10,026 posts, read 8,863,169 times
Reputation: 5888
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lafleur View Post
Well, if you don't like the negative stigma that comes with using the welfare system when you clearly don't need it, then you probably should stop taking advantage of the system. It's difficult to empathize with someone like that, especially when you come here with your lofty expectations of the men you want to date.

Just trying to be honest with you about why you're getting so much negative press.
Honestly I think this is why she struggles. Other single parents don't seem to struggle yet she does. The reason? it's because she has unrealistic expectations and brings little that compares. A single mom with a career and not on welfare would not have the issues she does.
 
Old 01-29-2015, 04:38 PM
 
9,415 posts, read 11,283,112 times
Reputation: 20186
Your sixty millionth thread about essentially the same thing. You define yourself as merely a single mother, rather one dimensional view don't you think? I know piles of single mothers and they have no problem finding guys.
 
Old 01-30-2015, 05:50 AM
 
Location: San Bernandino, CA
245 posts, read 162,528 times
Reputation: 324
Quote:
Originally Posted by Robert5 View Post
some men, including myself, will date single mothers with one kid, but not single mothers with more than one kid. I think most of the positive true stories of women dating with children involve only one child. I suspect some of the positive stories told in this thread are more fantasy than reality.
Like I said, I have and currently do date single mothers. Your point about more than 1 kid made me go back and think and I have not dated anyone with more than 1 kid. I am not sure how I would handle that. That exponentially increases the time she has to dedicate to being a mother and increases costs. Would have to handle that on a case by case basis. That's a good point though.

Also the whole "Drama with ex's", something a lot of people are completely ignoring is the fact that the ex may be completely out of the picture. Lives out of state, in jail, completely absentee, unknown... some reason. So there may be ZERO "ex drama", and people just summarily dismissing single mothers because of this are just ignorant, because that factor just might not exist.
 
Old 01-30-2015, 06:11 AM
 
Location: NY
9,004 posts, read 14,212,015 times
Reputation: 11354
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck View Post
We have beat the assistance dead horse plenty...
Honestly I agree with this. Her receipt of assistance comes up and derails every one of her threads, and there is no reason to think that it has any bearing on her inability to get a first date. Guys she is meeting would not know.

Besides, if she qualifies for the assistance, why hate on her for taking it? If you feel so strongly she is not deserving, write your politicians to change the eligibility requirements of the benefit program.
 
Old 01-30-2015, 06:16 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,907 posts, read 35,002,181 times
Reputation: 42372
Dear Illinois politicians:

This chick on the Internet says she gets food stamps, but she has multiple houses and cars and takes her children on two-week cruises. I don't know where she's from because she won't say, but I think this is totally not fair or right, so please do something.

Sincerely,
Julia
 
Old 01-30-2015, 06:21 AM
 
32,770 posts, read 22,707,241 times
Reputation: 29798
Quote:
Originally Posted by Checkered24 View Post
Honestly I agree with this. Her receipt of assistance comes up and derails every one of her threads, and there is no reason to think that it has any bearing on her inability to get a first date. Guys she is meeting would not know.

Besides, if she qualifies for the assistance, why hate on her for taking it? If you feel so strongly she is not deserving, write your politicians to change the eligibility requirements of the benefit program.

Yes, there is actually. She has an incredible:

1) sense of entitlement
2) cognitive disconnect (thinking she is economically in good shape despite being on welfare)
3) lack of self awareness

These traits don't become compartmentalized in people, they spill over into just about every area of their lives. Her getting food stamps isn't WHY she doesn't get first dates, but her attitude about it indicates why she isn't getting first dates (with quality men).

And just because you qualify for welfare, doesn't mean you should take it. It is there for people that NEED it. If she is not lying, and has two houses, and two cars, despite being one adult, she doesn't NEED it. So taking it is unethical.
 
Old 01-30-2015, 06:21 AM
 
Location: My House
33,095 posts, read 26,911,655 times
Reputation: 24450
Quote:
Originally Posted by Checkered24 View Post
Honestly I agree with this. Her receipt of assistance comes up and derails every one of her threads, and there is no reason to think that it has any bearing on her inability to get a first date. Guys she is meeting would not know.

Besides, if she qualifies for the assistance, why hate on her for taking it? If you feel so strongly she is not deserving, write your politicians to change the eligibility requirements of the benefit program.
I think it's relevant. Not because any guy she met would or would not know she gets public assistance.

It's because there's something morally skewed about the perspective of a woman who brags about her wealthy family with the "known name," multiple homes, multiple cars, fat savings account, big 401K, kids on cruise ships lifestyle while deliberately working a lower paying job that qualifies her for public assistance.

There's an entitlement mentality at play there. People pick up on stuff like that. THAT is probably why she's not successful at dating, assuming all her other posts about herself and her kids are honest.
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Last edited by RedZin; 01-30-2015 at 06:36 AM..
 
Old 01-30-2015, 06:59 AM
 
5,121 posts, read 5,292,395 times
Reputation: 5798
Quote:
Originally Posted by JoeSmith357 View Post
Like I said, I have and currently do date single mothers. Your point about more than 1 kid made me go back and think and I have not dated anyone with more than 1 kid. I am not sure how I would handle that. That exponentially increases the time she has to dedicate to being a mother and increases costs. Would have to handle that on a case by case basis. That's a good point though.

Also the whole "Drama with ex's", something a lot of people are completely ignoring is the fact that the ex may be completely out of the picture. Lives out of state, in jail, completely absentee, unknown... some reason. So there may be ZERO "ex drama", and people just summarily dismissing single mothers because of this are just ignorant, because that factor just might not exist.

This. Or that the ex might be a decent upstanding person (hopefully the woman the man is dating is a decent upstanding person too) and there is very little, if any, drama because they both act like adults. My ex-husband and I get along great as parents (we kind of get along like business associates or co-workers might). The biggest "drama" between us (if you can call it that) usually involves the parenting schedule. He might call and say his boyfriend planned a surprise romantic getaway this weekend, but he was supposed to be with our daughter... can I change things around? Or maybe some event popped up and he wants to take her, but it's "my time." Or my family is planning a big reunion on "his time" and I would like to take our daughter. It's almost always an easy "yes" followed up by re-figuring the schedule. Honestly, anything like this is usually about a five minute phone call and everyone is happy in the end. The only time we ran into a problem was when his boyfriend planned a weekend get-away (but I also planned to be out of town that weekend because I wasn't with my daughter). We ended up getting my mom to babysit.

There are certainly people out there who have drama with their exes, I know a few of them from my old divorce support group. But the people with the drama tend to be pretty "dramatic" themselves in my opinion. My advice would be when dating a single parent, if you want to gauge how much drama there will be between that person and their ex, just observe for a while and see if the person you are dating seems to be the drama type or not. Won't be 100% of course, but it's a pretty good indicator.
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