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Old 01-30-2015, 12:06 PM
 
6,926 posts, read 3,779,231 times
Reputation: 4621

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lafleur View Post
You're probably right about that. Older men would probably be your best chance at landing someone. But did you say that you don't like men in their 40s? I can't remember.

If so, your expectations are probably way too high. IMO you're not going to attract too many younger guys who have their lives together when you have two kids.

Another thing to consider is why are you attracting losers? Which sites are you using? I've used OKC, and I can't really say that I've attracted any losers. Regardless of the welfare hang up, perhaps one of your biggest disadvantages on those dating sites is the fact that you have two kids and no college degree. I don't think that's going to be attractive to most successful men in your age range, so they probably have you filtered out while the "losers" are willing to accept anyone. That may be the crux of it.
When i was doing online dating I was using POF and Okcupid. The same guys tend to be on both. And thr ones I contacted would ignore me and the ones I dont want would contact me.
I gave up and figured, I will meet the right one eventually the old fashioned way.

 
Old 01-30-2015, 12:09 PM
 
6,926 posts, read 3,779,231 times
Reputation: 4621
Quote:
Originally Posted by dragon_fly_12 View Post
Lack of class, lady. A real woman wouldn't let these men mindlessly circle and not tell them they have been friendzoned, so they need to move on. This smells of attention w***ing.
Not so fast. I have had the "not seeing a future" conversation with both of them. One in September and the other the week before christmas. They are well aware of the friendzoning... I do not initiate contact with either but will respond when they contact me.
 
Old 01-30-2015, 12:09 PM
 
Location: My House
33,343 posts, read 27,141,581 times
Reputation: 24647
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lafleur View Post
You're probably right about that. Older men would probably be your best chance at landing someone. But did you say that you don't like men in their 40s? I can't remember.

If so, your expectations are probably way too high. IMO you're not going to attract too many younger guys who have their lives together when you have two kids.

Another thing to consider is why are you attracting losers? Which sites are you using? I've used OKC, and I can't really say that I've attracted any losers. Regardless of the welfare hang up, perhaps one of your biggest disadvantages on those dating sites is the fact that you have two kids and no college degree. I don't think that's going to be attractive to most successful men in your age range, so they probably have you filtered out while the "losers" are willing to accept anyone. That may be the crux of it.
Yeah. I tend to agree that younger guys who have it together probably won't want to date a woman who is in a lower-income job with no degree and two little kids. It's not that any of those things are wrong in a silo, but all at one time, they are a bit much.

I think the OP could do better with older guys, but the danger there is that (if she could get past them being older than her, of course), lots of older guys have already raised their kids and don't want to raise a new set of young kids.

This is another area where if she had older kids, she'd be doing better.
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Old 01-30-2015, 12:10 PM
 
Location: My House
33,343 posts, read 27,141,581 times
Reputation: 24647
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck View Post
Not so fast. I have had the "not seeing a future" conversation with both of them. One in September and the other the week before christmas. They are well aware of the friendzoning... I do not initiate contact with either but will respond when they contact me.
Stop doing that unless you are genuinely friends with these men. You're giving them false hope.
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Old 01-30-2015, 12:10 PM
 
6,926 posts, read 3,779,231 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by latino_esq View Post
I think this is more a issue with a guys age. I wouldn't think that single moms are very desirable to younger guys (guys in their 20s and even early 30s) since these guys typically don't want to deal with barriers etc. Older men however may be looking to settle down so dating a single mom may not be such a big issue.
I have no interest in old men and will hold out for a guy around my age plus/minus a few years.
 
Old 01-30-2015, 12:11 PM
 
Location: My House
33,343 posts, read 27,141,581 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck View Post
I have no interest in old men and will hold out for a guy around my age plus/minus a few years.
You're 35 or 36, right?

Men who are 40 or so ARE close to your age.
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Old 01-30-2015, 12:12 PM
 
6,926 posts, read 3,779,231 times
Reputation: 4621
Quote:
Originally Posted by RedZin View Post
Stop doing that unless you are genuinely friends with these men. You're giving them false hope.
I have no issues with genuinely being friends with either of them.
 
Old 01-30-2015, 12:14 PM
 
6,926 posts, read 3,779,231 times
Reputation: 4621
Quote:
Originally Posted by RedZin View Post
Yeah. I tend to agree that younger guys who have it together probably won't want to date a woman who is in a lower-income job with no degree and two little kids. It's not that any of those things are wrong in a silo, but all at one time, they are a bit much.

I think the OP could do better with older guys, but the danger there is that (if she could get past them being older than her, of course), lots of older guys have already raised their kids and don't want to raise a new set of young kids.

This is another area where if she had older kids, she'd be doing better.
I have an older child and a toddler. It is what it is and i am fine being single until I find the right guy.
 
Old 01-30-2015, 12:16 PM
 
6,926 posts, read 3,779,231 times
Reputation: 4621
Quote:
Originally Posted by RedZin View Post
You're 35 or 36, right?

Men who are 40 or so ARE close to your age.
I have not found the right 40 year old then. I did meet some guys that were i their 40's but they do not seem to match me. I have dated much younger for years and matched perfectly. So again, single might be my place for awhile until I find someone that matches me.
 
Old 01-30-2015, 12:24 PM
 
Location: My House
33,343 posts, read 27,141,581 times
Reputation: 24647
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck View Post
I have not found the right 40 year old then. I did meet some guys that were i their 40's but they do not seem to match me. I have dated much younger for years and matched perfectly. So again, single might be my place for awhile until I find someone that matches me.
Yes. You may need to get a few more years on you, then the guys who are younger than you will be more in the age range you find acceptable. And you'll have older kids by then, too.

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