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Old 02-11-2015, 04:40 PM
 
10,026 posts, read 8,879,665 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jsun556 View Post
It's sad that some people don't understand this basic concept. Instead we are shunned as selfish or something similar.
Yep. Those of us (both genders)who don't parents are often branded kid haters, hating the opposite sex, called selfish (yes shame on us for not wanting to support someone else's family), etc. No it's called being smart and yes someone who marries someone with kids and supports those kids is probably desperate or loves being a doormat.

 
Old 02-11-2015, 05:34 PM
 
366 posts, read 295,436 times
Reputation: 876
Quote:
Originally Posted by Idon'tdateyou View Post
yes someone who marries someone with kids and supports those kids is probably desperate or loves being a doormat.
This is the part I object to when people say they won't date single parents. It's totally fine to not want to take on the extra responsibility or not want to be around kids, but why do you have to put down or make negative generalisations about people who do? Just because YOU don't see the value in a person with children doesn't mean there is something wrong with people who do.

Why does it have to be a superiority thing rather than just a preference.

That's like me saying I don't want to date red headed men, and anyone who does is stupid and doesn't know what attractive is.
 
Old 02-11-2015, 05:37 PM
 
914 posts, read 553,003 times
Reputation: 1439
Quote:
Originally Posted by rumpa View Post
This is the part I object to when people say they won't date single parents. It's totally fine to not want to take on the extra responsibility or not want to be around kids, but why do you have to put down or make negative generalisations about people who do? Just because YOU don't see the value in a person with children doesn't mean there is something wrong with people who do.

Why does it have to be a superiority thing rather than just a preference.

That's like me saying I don't want to date red headed men, and anyone who does is stupid and doesn't know what attractive is.

+1
 
Old 02-11-2015, 05:57 PM
 
252 posts, read 246,963 times
Reputation: 263
Quote:
Originally Posted by rumpa View Post
Then why are so many of these men bonding with these kids and willingly providing for them?
Rates of physical and sexual abuse are at epidemic levels. That is what happens when you stick people under the same roof who are not related by blood!!!
 
Old 02-11-2015, 05:59 PM
 
366 posts, read 295,436 times
Reputation: 876
Quote:
Originally Posted by WheresTheBeef View Post
Rates of physical and sexual abuse are at epidemic levels. That is what happens when you stick people under the same roof who are not related by blood!!!
So the reason you won't date a woman with kids is because you think you'll abuse her kids?

Wtf.
 
Old 02-11-2015, 06:05 PM
 
252 posts, read 246,963 times
Reputation: 263
Quote:
Originally Posted by rumpa View Post

That's like me saying I don't want to date red headed men, and anyone who does is stupid and doesn't know what attractive is.
Its not at all the same thing to compare rejecting someone based on some superficial physical attribute to rejecting someone for an attribute that goes to the foundation of having a family in the first place. And for those of you who don't know this, this entire notion of family not being defined by blood? Do you know who were the biggest advocates? Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels. Read and learn from this academic article (it's 16 pages so the first and last page will suffice):

Marx, Engels and the Abolition of the Family
http://archive.csustan.edu/History/F...the-Family.pdf

More reading:

http://goo.gl/my3oW0

Last edited by WheresTheBeef; 02-11-2015 at 06:23 PM..
 
Old 02-11-2015, 06:17 PM
 
252 posts, read 246,963 times
Reputation: 263
Quote:
Originally Posted by rumpa View Post
So the reason you won't date a woman with kids is because you think you'll abuse her kids?

Wtf.
No, it's because I don't want to slave my ass off at work to support someone else's kids. I don't want their stink around me, their germs. I don't want their whiny bad attitudes. I don't want to pay the extra money for Tide, bleach, water and groceries. I don't want them tying up my telephone lines. I don't want to get stuck for their medical expenses. I don't want to get stuck turning the air conditioner up (and paying extra electricity) because a kid who I am not related to is uncomfortable. I don't want them wrecking my car. I don't want to have to pay for their cell phones. I don't want to get stuck with their tuition, soccer fees, cost of uniforms and school supplies! I don't want to be the cuckholded "parent" who isn't allowed to yell at someone else's kids (even though I get stuck with all their bills).

In other words, I do those kinds of things for my BLOOD (or adopted) children and I will do it for them for their entire lives, not just until they reach 18. I'm not some chump who is going to get stuck paying for someone else's kids!!!

Last edited by WheresTheBeef; 02-11-2015 at 07:07 PM..
 
Old 02-11-2015, 06:21 PM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,907 posts, read 35,063,554 times
Reputation: 42372
Quote:
Originally Posted by WheresTheBeef View Post
No, it's because I don't want to slave my ass off at work to support someone else's kids. I don't want their stink around me, their germs. I don't want their whiny bad attitudes. I don't want to pay the extra money for Tide, bleach, water and groceries. I don't want them tying up my telephone lines. I don't want to get stuck for their medical expenses. I don't want to get stuck turning the air conditioner up (and paying extra electricity) because a kid who I am not related to is uncomfortable. I don't want to have to pay for their cell phones. I don't want to get stuck with their tuition, soccer fees, cost of uniforms.

In other words, I do those kinds of things for my BLOOD (or adopted) children. I'm not some chump who is going to get stuck paying for someone else's kids!!!
Adopted children ARE someone else's kids.
 
Old 02-11-2015, 06:27 PM
 
252 posts, read 246,963 times
Reputation: 263
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
Adopted children ARE someone else's kids.
When they are legally adopted -by law, by religion and by tradition- they are the same as my kids. Usually they have to be adopted because their parents don't want them and the adoptive parent does want them.

That's a different concept from someone's baby momma, or daddy divorcing mommy because the new secretary looks pretty hot. Not anything I want to get involved with. Wallow in your own poverty because of your bad decisions. It's not up to me to plug the financial gap!!!
 
Old 02-11-2015, 06:28 PM
 
366 posts, read 295,436 times
Reputation: 876
Quote:
Originally Posted by WheresTheBeef View Post
No, it's because I don't want to slave my ass off at work to support someone else's kids. I don't want their stink around me, their germs. I don't want their whiny bad attitudes. I don't want to pay the extra money for Tide, bleach, water and groceries. I don't want them tying up my telephone lines. I don't want to get stuck for their medical expenses. I don't want to get stuck turning the air conditioner up (and paying extra electricity) because a kid who I am not related to is uncomfortable. I don't want them wrecking my car. I don't want to have to pay for their cell phones. I don't want to get stuck with their tuition, soccer fees, cost of uniforms.

In other words, I do those kinds of things for my BLOOD (or adopted) children and I will do it for them for their entire lives, not just until they reach 18. I'm not some chump who is going to get stuck paying for someone else's kids!!!
Then don't date single moms. Easy.

But why is someone who IS willing to do those things a "chump"? Obviously they see value in the woman and her kids. Some people can bond with other people's kids and want to help out.
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