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Old 02-12-2015, 11:46 AM
 
10,026 posts, read 8,863,169 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck View Post
I guess I should have worded it "when will single moms be desirable to the good guys again?"

Granted my issue may be more of an online dating issue than a single mom issue. I don't know. I stopped looking and as of recently, have been hanging out with a guy I have known most of my life. Maybe he is the one. Time will tell.
You keep bringing up the good guy thing but until you get off welfare you won't be desirable to them. Sorry but that's a fact.

 
Old 02-12-2015, 11:46 AM
 
Location: Cumberland Co., TN
20,029 posts, read 20,528,200 times
Reputation: 20388
[quote=Idon'tdateyou;38414907]
Quote:
I think that some women (men too)will have kids with people irresponsible then think others will accept the choice. I don't, I think having kids while single
is usually a poor choice.
I imagine the bulk of single parents were actually married or in a LTR living as a couple at one time. I'm starting to think some of you are lumping all single parents into the never married, sleeping around, 3 baby daddy/momma welfare recipient category.



Quote:

Actually I know a lot of childless women who do get stuck supporting the kids
and the ex. These are cases where dad pays child support and often (though not
always)the mom was a stay at home mom. It's a different issues than adoption
because the ex is around. I would adopt a child, I would never be a stepmother
to a kid that has a mother. No advantage at all for me.
That's where I can see it would be worse financially for a woman to marry a single father paying CS than for a man to marry a single mother receiving CS.

Aside from the financial aspect a great many people are altruistic and don't require every relationship and interaction to be only and advantage to them. I think there is a name for that.
 
Old 02-12-2015, 11:51 AM
 
11,780 posts, read 8,216,231 times
Reputation: 3425
Quote:
Originally Posted by rumpa View Post
Single parents are not low income by default.
And childless people are not necessarily higher income.

Please tell me where to find a boyfriend who will pay my bills without living with me or marrying me. Does that even happen?!

Anyway, cost wise, if you are marrying someone with kids it's because you are not opposed to a lifestyle with kids. Costs go up as soon as any child is introduced, yours or not.

You keep assuming that a person with kids adds zero value to the relationship, financial or otherwise.
They are actually. The median income for a single parent family is $25K and nearly 50% of the kids born are on welfare. Childless people may or may not be higher income, but the census doesn't count those who have never had kids as a separate group (only those that do not have any kids younger than 18), so there is no way to know for sure.
 
Old 02-12-2015, 11:52 AM
 
Location: Northeast, US
2,161 posts, read 1,860,717 times
Reputation: 1292
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares View Post
Good luck with that. Even without kids there are often other things that get put in the #1 slot. Some people consider themselves #1, work, aging parents, God. Just saying.
In a very close relationship it is you and her against the world despite jobs, ailing parents, home repairs, chores, pets, houseplants, etc.
 
Old 02-12-2015, 11:54 AM
 
10,026 posts, read 8,863,169 times
Reputation: 5888
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares View Post
I imagine the bulk of single parents were actually married or in a LTR living as a couple at one time. I'm starting to think some of you are lumping all single parents into the never married, sleeping around, 3 baby daddy/momma welfare recipient category.
Actually the OP is in that category. Many of the single dads I found on dating sites were as well.


Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares View Post
That's where I can see it would be worse financially for a woman to marry a single father paying CS than for a man to marry a single mother receiving CS.

Aside from the financial aspect a great many people are altruistic and don't require every relationship and interaction to be only and advantage to them. I think there is a name for that.
It's why I would tell anyone considering marrying a parent to look at financial aspects. There's no way I am supporting someone's kids and the ex. I'd rather spend the money on myself or my family.
 
Old 02-12-2015, 11:56 AM
 
10,026 posts, read 8,863,169 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lycos679 View Post
They are actually. The median income for a single parent family is $25K and nearly 50% of the kids born are on welfare. Childless people may or may not be higher income, but the census doesn't count those who have never had kids as a separate group (only those that do not have any kids younger than 18), so there is no way to know for sure.
True plus it's important to remember childless generally don't qualify for welfare and pay more in taxes.
 
Old 02-12-2015, 11:57 AM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,199 posts, read 20,129,254 times
Reputation: 22092
I know single parents that date and some that remarried. I'm sure it can make things more challenging but there are people who don't mind dating single parents and even becoming a step parent.
 
Old 02-12-2015, 12:11 PM
 
6,911 posts, read 3,746,336 times
Reputation: 4613
Quote:
Originally Posted by Idon'tdateyou View Post
You keep bringing up the good guy thing but until you get off welfare you won't be desirable to them. Sorry but that's a fact.
I am not being judged for something that they do not know exists....
 
Old 02-12-2015, 12:11 PM
 
252 posts, read 246,270 times
Reputation: 263
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck View Post
Child sexual abuse is rampant in the Catholic Church. What they approve and disapprove of lost all credibility to me.
Not true.

"So in 1992, when the worst was over, the rate was 15 incidents of reported abuse per 100,000 confirmations. By 2001 it had dropped to of 5 incidents of abuse per 100,000 confirmations in the Catholic Church. There was a similar drop in American society as a whole but less steep and from a consistently higher rate.

For comparison, the Swedish figures for reported sex crimes against all children under 15 was 142/100,000 children in 1992, and 169/100,000 in 2001.

These figures suggest that during the 1990s a child in Sweden, possibly the most secularised country in Europe, was between 10 and 30 times more likely to be sexually assaulted than an American Catholic was by his priest. Even making allowances for the considerable margin of error that must be built into these figures, it's clear that what went on in US Catholic churches was terrible but rather less terrible than what went on at the same time in many other places where Catholicism was not involved. If the US Catholic church is a hotbed of child rape, Sweden is an awful lot worse. (Just to be clear here, I think the idea that Sweden is a dangerous country for children is entirely absurd.)

I picked Sweden for comparison largely because I know my way round the crime statistics there. But the US government figures quoted in the John Jay report show also that Alaska has a rate of reported child abuse that dwarfs Sweden's – 788/100,000 in 2001, or 140 times the incidence of reported child abuse in the US Catholic church at the same period. So there is nothing uniquely rotten about the American Catholic church."


Catholic child abuse analysed | Andrew Brown | Comment is free | The Guardian
 
Old 02-12-2015, 12:16 PM
 
252 posts, read 246,270 times
Reputation: 263
Quote:
Originally Posted by JobZombie View Post
When the kids have moved out and the former hubby is completely out of the picture. I need, and deserve, to be number one in her life as she will be number one with me in my life. When this cannot be recognized or understood that I will not settle for anything less than being number one with her is the very essence as to why single moms are avoided and not desired.
Children should be your number one. (Technically, God should but that's another discussion.) When they're your children, not usually a big deal. When its someone else's kid, huge deal!!!
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