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Old 02-01-2015, 06:01 AM
 
3,577 posts, read 2,697,422 times
Reputation: 6885

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My husband could have written this about me. We met up for dinner after connecting via OLD. We had tentative plans to get together for a beer festival for our second "date." I canceled the plans for a variety of reasons, but I don't remember what I told him. In reality, I was still in the process of moving to the area, I had just started a new job and was commuting long distances to work every day, I was figuring out a place to live, there were 1 or 2 guys I was more interested in at the time, etc. He was a good guy but didn't make a strong first impression on me because he's very reserved at first and I was more interested in gregarious types.

Anyway, he kept in touch via text or email occasionally -- even suggesting I get together with him and his friends a couple of times -- and I would respond politely but that was it. He himself became very busy after buying a house that needed a lot of work. Fast forward nearly a year and I finally reached back out to him. I hadn't connected with anyone else, and I was just ready to be friends or spend time with a nice guy for a change. We got together to hang out for the second time nearly a year after our first meet-up, and the rest is history. Yesterday was the one month anniversary of our wedding.

Do with this information what you will.
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Old 02-01-2015, 06:07 AM
 
Location: Spokane, Washington
619 posts, read 478,861 times
Reputation: 1108
Quote:
Originally Posted by quiettype View Post
I'm not really understanding this behavior. Was I her backup guy (plan B) after her primary interest got away? Or is something else afoot?
Besides getting her final order to assassinate you...WHAT could be "afoot"? December is a hellish month, or maybe you didn't impress her and she wants to revisit the idea of you to see if she missed something...maybe she has gone through the 50 other guys she's talking to and she's ready for her back up guy or maybe she heard rumors that you won the lottery.

You could text her back and see what's really up.
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Old 02-01-2015, 07:06 AM
 
812 posts, read 660,757 times
Reputation: 995
Don't worry about it. Text her back like nothing ever happened.
Sometimes you strike out first time up, next might be a home run, but you won't know if you don't swing!
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Old 02-01-2015, 07:27 AM
 
Location: PANAMA
1,424 posts, read 1,006,375 times
Reputation: 1146
Quote:
Originally Posted by quiettype View Post
I met this girl online and we started chatting and hit it off. We went out to dinner for a first date back in December. We had a good time and continued to talk in the days afterwards. I setup a second date with her and she flaked out on it. She stopped responding to my texts so I figured "oh well...her loss".

Fast forward a month and she resurfaces and texts me out of the blue. Just a simple "Hey, it's been awhile...how are you?".

I'm not really understanding this behavior. Was I her backup guy (plan B) after her primary interest got away? Or is something else afoot?

I'm 33 and she's 29 if that matters.
Often girls act like that, could be yes, you are Plan B, she was emotionally unavailable at the time, could be she was busy with work, problems with the family...the list goes on and on...

Just answer back...and ask her nicely like "long time no see, what happened?..." or something fun...and see what happens.

Dating is NOT like a fast meal, or a fast thing, that's a common mistake. When a girl is elusive, saying she doesn't have time, just give that to her.If she finds somebody else along the way...well, it wasn't meant to be.

You will be amazed, on girls coming back to you out of nowhere, if you are not "breathing down her neck" with chats or phone calls.


And that my friend...was learned by experienced, not because I read books or hear the likes of Joshua Harris, Joshua Pellicer, not Erik Webber or the Richard something....
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Old 02-01-2015, 08:10 AM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
213 posts, read 310,516 times
Reputation: 485
My vote is that you just let her go. Seriously, if I were interested in a guy, I would always find a way to keep in touch no matter how busy I was. I don't buy into someone being too busy to send a quick text.
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Old 02-01-2015, 09:28 AM
 
1,356 posts, read 1,569,087 times
Reputation: 1028
OP, I'm with the people who are telling you not to rush to conclusions. Dating isn't formulaic and you can't read peoples minds. Making assumptions is a surefire way to not get anywhere with anyone with both platonic and romantic relationships. You can spend all day making guesses as to why you didn't hear from her and you still wouldn't know. Maybe she even spent some time with someone else and things didn't work out....that happens. Maybe she had a lot on her plate. You just don't know. You could ask her. It seems like she is interested in picking up where things left off so you should go with it and see where it goes.
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Old 02-01-2015, 09:47 AM
 
Location: east coast
2,790 posts, read 2,151,516 times
Reputation: 1869
^^

I hear what you are saying but the idea is not to follow through simply for the sake of following through. It's not about giving second chances. There is no texture, no history, not established relations. In the month that past by he could have met a wonderful and caring person.

It's past, he needs to move on. Move fwd, never backwards. This is where people need to assess and make the right decisions. She did not communicate properly and that is the issue. We don't wait for other people because they moved into a new town and then decide they want to cut all forms of communication then suddenly reappear.
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Old 02-01-2015, 09:57 AM
 
Location: Vail, CO
957 posts, read 775,134 times
Reputation: 1104
That happened to me a lot when I was dating. If they sent a random text weeks or months after flaking on me I just completely ignored them and moved on.

I'm kind of hard headed and reserved. I would prefer dating women who actually like me, not ones that are afraid of being single There's plenty out there.
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Old 02-01-2015, 09:59 AM
Status: "flood" (set 9 days ago)
 
Location: Central TX
2,282 posts, read 3,030,067 times
Reputation: 2643
Same happened to me and my wife when we were dating. We lost contact for months and then she called me out of the blue one day.

Here we are, 27 years later.
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Old 02-01-2015, 11:20 AM
 
3,749 posts, read 2,903,476 times
Reputation: 11932
She probably started seeing someone she liked better than you and just got dumped.

If she wasn't interested in you then, whats the difference now?
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