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Old 02-03-2015, 06:19 PM
 
Location: Canada
11,770 posts, read 11,986,606 times
Reputation: 30284

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Quote:
Originally Posted by jillabean View Post
Maybe they don't like it when it's pointed out that they aren't necessarily desirable by the ones they desire?
^^^^^^. You nailed it.

 
Old 02-03-2015, 06:33 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,754,614 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anabasis X View Post
Im talking about sexual attraction to youth and beauty, both of which are markers of fertility. Not seeking a life long partner. No matter how PC one wants to be, it will never override human nature.
LOL ... "markers of fertility."

Hey doc, you forgot about the brain.

Remember, that self-awareness that supposedly separates us from animals that just randomly hump each other???
 
Old 02-03-2015, 06:37 PM
 
Location: Canada
11,770 posts, read 11,986,606 times
Reputation: 30284
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hivemind31 View Post
Would I suggest that "most" men find "a lot of" younger women physically attractive? Sure. But that entire premise is lost when you attempt to make a grand sweeping statement that includes everybody, because people stop listening at that point and focus more on the inaccuracy of the statement itself over the idea behind it.
That is true, however younger is relative. I don't think that the youngest age group is the most attractive one. A 60 year old could find a 40 year old attractive. She would be younger, but doesn't need to be the youngest to have any appeal. So really, anyone of any age can be attractive, since it all depends on who is doing the looking. There isn't one universal standard or age of attractiveness.

I also tend to think that the majority of guys are not really clamoring to be in relationships with women young enough to be their daughters, even if they do find them attractive.
 
Old 02-03-2015, 06:48 PM
 
5,121 posts, read 6,788,364 times
Reputation: 5833
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
LOL ... "markers of fertility."

Hey doc, you forgot about the brain.

Remember, that self-awareness that supposedly separates us from animals that just randomly hump each other???
I think the whole fertility argument is over rated. I would agree that a very primal level we find youth attractive (both men and women), but we are thinking animals. If we just went on what is "fertile" and best for passing on our genes we wouldn't be using birth control like we do. If anything, we are all trying out best not to be fertile most of the time. Plus, men wouldn't be going around just finding younger women, they would "mate" with anyone who gave them the chance since it's not a big biological investment and it would increase their chances of passing on DNA. And on top of that, women would be even more draw to and more selective for men their own age because younger men are also more fertile and present less of a risk of developmental problems for children.

Again, some older guys like younger women. Some younger women like older guys. Heck, I tend to live men about 5-10 years older than me (and I did date a man 12 years older than me for a while). But that's kind of the limit for me (and for a lot of women). When the man starts getting close to your father's age, there is something that just kicks in with most women and we aren't attracted.

That said, if a man who is older asks for your number or whatever, just tell him you aren't interested. I do it any time a much older man hits on me. Although I understand that when you are younger and less experienced it's overwhelming and weird feeling. I felt that way too for a while too when I was a teen--thing are awkward anyway when you are just entering adulthood. Trust me, it will happen your whole life. But you get comfortable in your own skin and in politely declining as you mature and most older men don't give it a second thought from what I observed. They ask, they try, the get turned down, they go elsewhere.
 
Old 02-03-2015, 06:53 PM
 
5,121 posts, read 6,788,364 times
Reputation: 5833
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011 View Post
That is true, however younger is relative. I don't think that the youngest age group is the most attractive one. A 60 year old could find a 40 year old attractive. She would be younger, but doesn't need to be the youngest to have any appeal. So really, anyone of any age can be attractive, since it all depends on who is doing the looking. There isn't one universal standard or age of attractiveness.

I also tend to think that the majority of guys are not really clamoring to be in relationships with women young enough to be their daughters, even if they do find them attractive.
This is what I was getting at when I said it never stops. I still get hit on by men 20+ years older than me... these are the same guys who were hitting on me when I was 18. In fact, I would say even more older men hit on me now than when I was 18 (because I've had men 30+ also hit on me). And I am still not interested in any of them. The same way I wasn't interested when I was 18. So it's relative.
 
Old 02-03-2015, 06:57 PM
 
4,613 posts, read 4,784,008 times
Reputation: 4098
Quote:
Originally Posted by Idon'tdateyou View Post
Saying men find younger women more attractive really has little to do with this. It had to do with a younger woman not wanting to date an older guy. He probably has issues to think he stands a chance or has something else going on because most men know they are going to strike out with a younger women. Sure, most women are more attractive when they are younger but so are most men. However, this doesn't mean that most men seek younger women or even pay attention. In fact, a few male posters have stated they don't.
I was only addressing your statement, and how its conclusion was drawn erroneously. If you want to talk about how it's off topic, then perhaps you shouldn't have gone there. You're doing it again in this post ("but so are most men"). Of course they are, but as you mentioned...that has little to do with the main point.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011 View Post
I also tend to think that the majority of guys are not really clamoring to be in relationships with women young enough to be their daughters, even if they do find them attractive.
They definitely aren't. I believe that Anabasis' original posts referred only to physical attractiveness. Very few people want to hang around with a teenager of either gender for too long
 
Old 02-03-2015, 07:02 PM
 
17 posts, read 43,970 times
Reputation: 17
normally i would say,hmmm you know why dont i get your number and i'd give you a call!!!! you know girlie i m exactly like you, i have trouble saying no, even to strangers , feel like i will hurt their feeling or sth ...i dont even know them...but yea i do that too
 
Old 02-03-2015, 07:51 PM
 
13 posts, read 11,615 times
Reputation: 31
Quote:
Originally Posted by Idon'tdateyou View Post
Newsflash, younger men are more attractive than older men. Women don't judge based on money because women make their own. It's not biology for men to want younger and women to want older, that's silly. If I was seeking casual fun I would choose a younger man versus older because they are hotter. However because I am mature I'm seeking a relationship like that. I also don't seek men based on their ability to protect and power. I can do all of that myself.
Physically more attractive for sure. But is that all it takes for women when they consider men on any level whether casual or long term? Nope. For long term, so much more is considered. For casual, the answer is no as well. While the kid 10+ yrs younger than me may be physically more attractive, my experience over him cannot be substituted for. I would guess that no woman wants an inexperienced kid in the bedroom. But I'm sure there are some as always nothing is 100 percent.

Your arguments about how you don't consider money or power and protection are bs. If your caught in a dark parking lot and get attacked, don't tell me you can handle yourself. At the very least you'd wish a man was there by your side. You can't change the physical differences between men and women. Unless your an mma trained fighter or have a gun by your side at all times, you in gonna do nothin if sum big thug wanted to hurt you. But to be fair, you could be wih a physically weak beta male and be assed out either way. And disregarding basic biology by saying its silly is very stupid. Across the globe prostitution is huge. As they say, it's the oldest profession in the world. And unfortunately so is child prostitution. All are very clear indicators that most men find youthful looking women attractive and have since the beginning of time. Why is that so hard to accept?
 
Old 02-03-2015, 08:14 PM
 
Location: Oregon, formerly Texas
10,029 posts, read 7,188,252 times
Reputation: 17126
A situation not unlike the OPs actually happened to me a couple months ago. I'm 32. I was supposed to meet a friend downtown but it didn't work out. I had to park quite a distance away and was walking back to my car. I passed this young woman who was looking for the location of her event and she asked to use my phone to look it up. I let her and after she used it, offered to walk her to her destination which was in the direction of my car. It turned out she was mistaken about the start time of the event and had already missed it. I offered to buy her a beer and a snack at the microbrewery that was right next to it and she replied that she "didn't have her ID." Crap. She was actually 20, I had thought she was 23-24 or so. I said, "okay, so you can't drink, but can you eat?" We ended up going and shared some chili fries and dessert. The whole thing actually went really well and we had a good time, salvaging both our evenings. We kissed at the end of the night. Turns out she was moving away quite soon so it didn't go beyond that night although we're facebook friends now. Was I creepy?

Long story short, not all "senior citizens" are creepy so I take offense at that. I don't know if I'd do the same 10 years later at 42, but I'm closer to that than 20.

I'm in a line of work where I deal with young adult women 18-25 on a regular basis and yes, I get hit on by them. Not every day but it happens. I'm not in the position to reciprocate at work and in any case I find many women in that age range hopelessly immature and vapid, negating whatever attractiveness they've got. But sometimes they can surprise you. One of my colleagues, older than me, has to be in his upper 30s or around 40, is in great shape, dresses young, big extrovert, funny. The young women LOVE him; he gets flirted with ALL the time - so much that I think he'll get in trouble someday. The point is that attraction IS possible across those age gaps.

Hell, I was hit on by a woman at work who started working there when I was diapers. I was actually flattered - she's a sophisticated and successful 60+ yr old woman even though I wasn't sexually attracted.

On C-D there are polarized opinions about this and quite frankly, many are unreasonable and unrealistic. Some posters are less mature than 18 year olds on the subject.

To the OP -- you say ,"Oh, sorry... thanks but no thanks, sir. I've got to go now." Calling him "sir" will communicate your position very clearly. Saying "sorry, but my boyfriend would not approve" is also acceptable. You gave your number and promptly blocked his which is also reasonable but you could have saved yourself the trouble and just given a polite but firm "no." He would not have cared. He is not a creep unless he forces the issue or he targeted her. I don't think he did. There was spontaneous communication and he took his shot.

The man did nothing wrong. OP is an adult and the man did not hold any position of power over her. Sometimes younger people are bad at estimating age - they often guess mine way too old or way too young even though I look about my age, so he may not have been in his 40s.

A guy will get dates with 0% of the women he does NOT ask, and a scenario like the coffee one the OP describes is the perfect opportunity to ask. He probably would not have asked otherwise. I give him props for taking his chances. In fact I bet the whole thing bothered him less than the OP who seems overly distressed. There is also nothing wrong with the OP saying no.

Last edited by redguard57; 02-03-2015 at 08:30 PM..
 
Old 02-03-2015, 08:16 PM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,838,343 times
Reputation: 40634
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cincere_One View Post
Physically more attractive for sure. But is that all it takes for women when they consider men on any level whether casual or long term? Nope. For long term, so much more is considered. For casual, the answer is no as well. While the kid 10+ yrs younger than me may be physically more attractive, my experience over him cannot be substituted for. I would guess that no woman wants an inexperienced kid in the bedroom. But I'm sure there are some as always nothing is 100 percent.

Same thing with men looking at women.
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