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I seriously think there is this jerk reaction to immediately go with the player, red flags, and gay, titles without putting things into perspective.
Well, let's look at it even from a player's POV. Yes, he likes women around him. I know men that are like this. They are married but they and their wives love to have people around either at the house or when the go to happy hour as a couple. But there are always a group of women around them. They just love the attention and the energy having these women around that you can't get with having so much masculine energy.
Also, when a man has a lot of women around him, it gives the impression of high social status and people, both men and women, gravitate towards the man. This is associated with being a playboy- think of the married Hugh hefner while playboy bunnies still in the house. However, while he will pick and choose who he wants to bang and court, it doesn't mean he wants all these women throwing themselves at him all the time- that would be a casanova.
So he is just a playboy- a wannabe "Hugh hefner in training". You are his Madame that will control the ladies because you know him and are his right hand gal...
This guy's...this "friend"...is full of it. His words are incongruous with his actions.
Tread carefully, OP. Think hard about whether you want to continue being "friends" with him.
REAL opposite sex friends, even close ones, do not behave like this guy does. They don't go around constantly telling you how how much they "care" about you.
I seriously think there is this jerk reaction to immediately go with the player, red flags, and gay, titles without putting things into perspective.
Well, let's look at it even from a player's POV. Yes, he likes women around him. I know men that are like this. They are married but they and their wives love to have people around either at the house or when the go to happy hour as a couple. But there are always a group of women around them. They just love the attention and the energy having these women around that you can't get with having so much masculine energy.
Also, when a man has a lot of women around him, it gives the impression of high social status and people, both men and women, gravitate towards the man. This is associated with being a playboy- think of the married Hugh hefner while playboy bunnies still in the house. However, while he will pick and choose who he wants to bang and court, it doesn't mean he wants all these women throwing themselves at him all the time- that would be a casanova.
So he is just a playboy- a wannabe "Hugh hefner in training". You are his Madame that will control the ladies because you know him and are his right hand gal...
That's a very deep perspective. Thanks for sharing! You seem to be right about that. Lol, I am nowhere near his "madame", but I see what you mean. Thanks!
This guy's...this "friend"...is full of it. His words are incongruous with his actions.
Tread carefully, OP. Think hard about whether you want to continue being "friends" with him.
REAL opposite sex friends, even close ones, do not behave like this guy does. They don't go around constantly telling you how how much they "care" about you.
I worded that wrong. He doesn't constantly tell me how much he "cares" about me, it's said a lot though, but not constantly or ALL the time. He is full of it, I didn't understand what he meant by it, and I don't know, I thought guys loved it when girls gave them a lot of attention. I see what you mean though, but I guess everything is fine if we stay platonic friends. I am not interested in him in any other way. Thanks!
I am just wondering about this. My guy friend and I are very close. We hang out almost every day, he texts me first all the time, and calls me first. He always says to me how much he "cares" about me, and I am his "best friend", and all that jazz lol. He always seems to want females around. He loves females, almost everytime I hang out with he makes it a big outing with at least one female, and a guy or guys. He seems to love the attention from them. At least, that's how I perceived it. Then he said something strange.
He said "It was good that me and Gina had a little break because I was getting annoyed with her. I hate constantly being around the same girl all the time, and I hate when girls try me all the time." I said "Try you? What does that mean?" He said "Try me? As in girls trying to have sex with me, hug me, and kiss me. It gets annoying. Like you don't try me, you don't try to have sex with me, and kiss me." I just find it strange because he always seems to want females around? I thought guys LOVED it when females flirt, fall all over them, hug them, and try to have sex with them, and what not? I thought guys desire this all the time? Lol. Especially from someone that loves females. Any thoughts on this? Thanks.
From the reponses, I guess I read this totally wrong. Lol I thought you meant that you also like females so it's strange to you that he doesn't like having girls flirt, hug, sex all over him.
I seriously think there is this jerk reaction to immediately go with the player, red flags, and gay, titles without putting things into perspective.
Well, let's look at it even from a player's POV. Yes, he likes women around him. I know men that are like this. They are married but they and their wives love to have people around either at the house or when the go to happy hour as a couple. But there are always a group of women around them. They just love the attention and the energy having these women around that you can't get with having so much masculine energy.
Also, when a man has a lot of women around him, it gives the impression of high social status and people, both men and women, gravitate towards the man. This is associated with being a playboy- think of the married Hugh hefner while playboy bunnies still in the house. However, while he will pick and choose who he wants to bang and court, it doesn't mean he wants all these women throwing themselves at him all the time- that would be a casanova.
So he is just a playboy- a wannabe "Hugh hefner in training". You are his Madame that will control the ladies because you know him and are his right hand gal...
There's no jerk reaction at all. There is also nothing profound about anything you've written; it's pretty much understood on some level when people say "player." You spelled it out, but you've still not said anything different than anyone else. If there is a "jerk reaction" you are right there in the middle of it.
Entertaining the postulation that he is gay: A gay male, even if he doesn't act outright "effeminate", often likes the company of females because, I suppose, it appeals to a gay man's "feminine" or girly" nature (remember that not all gay males act effeminate and many show no signs of effeminateness whatsoever). And YET, while liking females' company (and then multiple females at that . . . like he likes a "party-like" ambience or environment), he gets wary of them being "all over him" actually physically fondling and stroking him (or at least beyond a modicum) and then suggesting or outright asking or pushing him for sexual relations. Hmmmm. In other words, he likes female company but not female physicality. Hmmmm. I could be wrong, but it hints at being gay at heart (whether he himself realizes it or not).
If the above postulation is wrong, then he sounds, at least somewhat, like a flake.
Guys want what they don't have. Guys who haven't experienced constant attention from women think that it would be the greatest thing in the world, and want it badly.
Guys who actually have it know that it can get invasive and annoying (especially when it's coming from women you aren't interested in), and learn how to avoid it by acting a certain way when out in public.
That said, this guy sounds like he hasn't figured out he can influence their behavior with his own. He keeps acting in a way that invites the attention even though he doesn't like it.
Also comes down to individual personalities. Some people love attention, the more the merrier. Others just want to blend in despite their external appearance and "vibe" naturally attracting attention.
Also, there is a difference between enjoying being around women, and enjoying when they are trying to get in your pants. Two different things. I've always enjoyed hanging around women, but when a woman is making moves on me and I'm not into her, it's not fun.
Last edited by tofur; 02-06-2015 at 08:52 AM..
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