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Old 03-26-2016, 02:00 PM
 
Location: Polynesia
2,142 posts, read 1,106,465 times
Reputation: 3677

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If you find your options limited and you are struggling, then you probably need to throw a wider net, or be more patient.
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Old 03-26-2016, 11:23 PM
 
Location: Summit, NJ
1,388 posts, read 1,271,484 times
Reputation: 1570
Can there actually be a supply and demand issue? There really isn't a supply imbalance, since the male and female populations are ultimately equal.
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Old 04-09-2016, 01:01 AM
 
Location: all over the place (figuratively)
2,630 posts, read 2,113,543 times
Reputation: 1679
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ View Post
So what you're saying is...non-OLD opportunities are superior to OLD approaches...except they aren't.



Well, except in bars? Not fully understanding whether you're saying that's a good setting for meeting attractive women without children since you said "outside of bars." If that's the setting to look in why do you seem to be discounting it?

I'm struggling to see how there's a consensus that OLD dating is artificial and slanted as compared to real-life approaches, and that's why the attractive women in OLD don't come running, yet men aren't successfully meeting attractive women IRL either. What part is superior there, exactly? You're still not meeting women. Or at least, "attractive" women.

Since the attention women get in OLD is inflated, artificial and they don't "deserve" it, and "eventually" women will settle in frustration of being pumped and dumped by that Top 20 tier that we all know are the ONLY men women will ever date on OLD before giving up in exhausted frustration, surely those women are eventually going off OLD to find non-Top 20 men. Everywhere. Including your sector, I'm assuming, unless you live in a seminary.

So it can't be that women are all on OLD and therefore unavailable to you in real-life situations...at some point they're getting away from the "undeserved" and artificial attention of the OLD top-tier pump-and-dumpers (according to this thread, anyway). At any given point in time, there are X percent of women finally being put in their place to realize they just don't "deserve attention" and are therefore leaping at the non-top-tier men and "settling."

Given all this, how can any even reasonably ambulatory, not falling-down-drunk non-homeless man not be with a woman right now?

It just isn't adding up.

Well, unless it isn't artificial, women do get a lot of attention from men in any situation simply because men give women a lot of attention, and women do indeed date average men (average being just that, average, and a majority).

The excuses are flying like snow in South Dakota but they don't add up. And NONE of them are convincing arguments that women "don't deserve" attention from men, in OLD or elsewhere. Men GIVE attention, period. Men throw their attention around a lot more than women do (at least in a notable way...we women do look and notice, trust me). It just is and we women don't have to "deserve it." We don't have to leap a 4-foot hurdle, run a six-minute mile or perform open heart surgery in a tent in a field in order to be worthy of male attention. Males give attention. We receive the attention. We don't need OLD to "inflate" that for us and keep us from dating you. End of story. Time to find a different excuse for not having a girlfriend. (But let me guess...the next excuse will have the woman at fault, too.)

The bolded sentence is where I think it doesn't add up. Many so-so women, by middle age, quietly give up on men. They'll blithely be single for years. (I've found one or two articles that support the notion. Researchers haven't paid enough attention to the important subject.) Maybe once in a long while, they'll date. There's also probably a sizable group of fairly attractive women who mainly rotate through the same 20% of men (sometimes unwittingly sharing) and rarely are truly single and available outside rather closed social circles. Meanwhile, very few single heterosexual men go years without at least fishing for women online. Hence, yes, OLD leads to women (not ugly and under 50, at least) being flooded with attention.

Last edited by goodheathen; 04-09-2016 at 01:16 AM..
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Old 04-09-2016, 11:21 AM
 
Location: The point of no return, er, NorCal
6,901 posts, read 4,223,982 times
Reputation: 8882
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ View Post
Again, you're saying that's the way it is...but you're wrong. As the average age of first marriage for a male (and that sure as heck doesn't constitute only 20% of males) in the U.S. is only 29. That means a solid relationship on average with the future spouse since, again on average, age 26. (Averages: relationship prior to engagement two years, length of engagement one year). It's highly unlikely that such situations are first-ever relationships, most though not all people do not marry their first ever love. So you're still wrong. Your description is not the way it is, and 20s and early 30s men, AVERAGE non wealthy non model handsome men, are not invisible to women.
Indeed. While I think my husband is incredibly handsome, I have dated men who are average-looking by most standards. I'd say a lot of the men I met over the course of time I spent in the OLD scene were in average range. So, yeah, they don't go unnoticed, and the majority of women I know who were successful with OLD also ended up with men who are average-looking as well.

Quote:
As to the sacks of messages, re-read that POF study you're probably referencing, it cites that a very small percentage of women were receiving many messages per day. I can find the study if you're just flying by the seat of your pants and going off what other disgruntleds say about it, let me know.

So, you're still wrong...I'm sorry. Perhaps a deeper look and less finger pointing is in order to pinpoint where a lack of dating success lies.
Right again. While I received a lot of messages, especially on PoF, they were not the "hundreds" that a lot of men like to claim or tell themselves. The majority of women are not drowning in hundreds of messages a day, or week, but a lot of bitter, disgruntled men like to tell themselves that to make themselves feel better about their lack of success. It's the women and all the attention they're getting. "Undeserved attention," as they like to imply.
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Old 04-10-2016, 01:32 AM
 
48 posts, read 25,246 times
Reputation: 80
Quote:
Originally Posted by Metaphysique View Post
Indeed. While I think my husband is incredibly handsome, I have dated men who are average-looking by most standards. I'd say a lot of the men I met over the course of time I spent in the OLD scene were in average range. So, yeah, they don't go unnoticed, and the majority of women I know who were successful with OLD also ended up with men who are average-looking as well.



Right again. While I received a lot of messages, especially on PoF, they were not the "hundreds" that a lot of men like to claim or tell themselves. The majority of women are not drowning in hundreds of messages a day, or week, but a lot of bitter, disgruntled men like to tell themselves that to make themselves feel better about their lack of success. It's the women and all the attention they're getting. "Undeserved attention," as they like to imply.
A lot of messages per day is still a lot. It doesn't need to be hundreds. I would consider 10 messages a day to be way more than enough to quality as a lot of attention.

Most men on OLD receive absolutely no attention.
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Old 04-10-2016, 02:28 AM
 
1,735 posts, read 2,616,142 times
Reputation: 2013
What is the percentage Male to Female on OLD sites? I haven't been on OLD in several years, but I do recall there was a timid factor among females, and those that refuse to put up a profile and meet someone "creepy".
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Old 04-10-2016, 02:35 AM
 
Location: So Cal
38,756 posts, read 37,929,773 times
Reputation: 39576
I don't know, but who gives a rip???
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