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Old 02-04-2015, 02:56 PM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,199 posts, read 20,166,744 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Anabasis X View Post
Its all about what you want. 80% of male population that doesn't exist to most women, just hope for recognition that they exist, and have things to offer and are at times great guys. Guys that want to have many girlfriends - should listen to guys who have experience in that. Guys who are ready to start a family, should look up to other men successful in their long time marriages and seek their advice. No guys, should take dating advice from women. Other women, maybe you have a case.
So you think women should take dating advice from women?
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Old 02-04-2015, 02:57 PM
 
Location: My House
33,235 posts, read 27,024,397 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by neutrino78x View Post
lol wouldn't everybody just pursue the people they find attractive? Young people are attractive.

If your choices are two men who are equally great in every other respect, but one is in his 20s and one is in his 50s, I think most of us, males and females, would take the person in their 20s.

(there are lots of people in their 50s who I think are hot. Joan Jett, for example. But obviously most 20 year olds are going to be more biologically attractive than most 50 year olds.)
Again it's all moot for me because no one ever reciprocates my feelings, so such a choice wouldn't exist. My only choice would be in who I would prefer to be with; neither would want to be with me. But I'm speaking for people who have some kind of choice.
How do you know they're equally great until you meet them?

Unless they're clones of one another, something will stand out as more favorable and it isn't likely to be just age.

Maybe the 50 yo has a better sense of humor. Maybe the 20yo slurps his soup. Who knows?

I wouldn't date a 20yo because my eldest kid is 24 and my middle is 17 (both boys). A 20yo is at an age where in about 4 or 5 years, he'd be dating my daughter. She's 14 now, but by the time she is 18 or 19, could see her dating a 24-25yo guy. Sure thing.

Nah. Not my dating pool. A 50 yo would be 3 years older than me. I'd go for him.

Now, if you said... 40yo or 50yo and they were identical, we could argue that I'd have more trouble choosing or might go for the 40yo because I generally date a bit younger.

Eh. Depends.

It's not just an age thing. It really isn't.
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Old 02-04-2015, 02:57 PM
 
10,026 posts, read 8,879,665 times
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Okay if 80% of men are invisible to women why do most men marry?
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Old 02-04-2015, 02:59 PM
 
4,608 posts, read 3,578,845 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdroplet76 View Post
So you think women should take dating advice from women?
I know you didn't quote me, but I'd say yes. A woman that is successful at dating (by whatever definition the question-asker uses) would be a better source of knowledge for that woman than a man would. She would be better versed in the means to ACHIEVE that objective, where a man can only speak towards what he wants.

As is the case with both genders, we're not really honest with ourselves about what we want. We'd like to think we are, but in many (I'd even say most), we're not.
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Old 02-04-2015, 03:02 PM
 
10,026 posts, read 8,879,665 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RedZin View Post
How do you know they're equally great until you meet them?

Unless they're clones of one another, something will stand out as more favorable and it isn't likely to be just age.

Maybe the 50 yo has a better sense of humor. Maybe the 20yo slurps his soup. Who knows?

I wouldn't date a 20yo because my eldest kid is 24 and my middle is 17 (both boys). A 20yo is at an age where in about 4 or 5 years, he'd be dating my daughter. She's 14 now, but by the time she is 18 or 19, could see her dating a 24-25yo guy. Sure thing.

Nah. Not my dating pool. A 50 yo would be 3 years older than me. I'd go for him.

Now, if you said... 40yo or 50yo and they were identical, we could argue that I'd have more trouble choosing or might go for the 40yo because I generally date a bit younger.

Eh. Depends.

It's not just an age thing. It really isn't.
As a 44 year old woman if we were strictly talking a 20 year old man being in shape and handsome and a 50 year old man not and I was looking for sex I'd probably take the 20 year old. However, as we all know it's more complicated, like say the 20 year old is obese and the 50 year old an athlete? 50 is closer to my age, what would I have in common with a 20 year old? I will say though that in general the much younger men who contacted me on dating sites were in better shape (or at least it appeared)than the 50 year old but they were mostly looking for a cougar or a sugar mama.
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Old 02-04-2015, 03:07 PM
 
Location: My House
33,235 posts, read 27,024,397 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hivemind31 View Post
This can't be said enough. It's the single-handed best piece of advice there is for any guy (and vice versa).
I agree with this, to a point. Men can tell you about picking up women, since they... you know... pick up women.

However, I do think that women know what women like. If you can find a woman who is brutally honest with you. Thing is, many women want to be "nice" so they tend to gloss things over.

I've always had more male friends than female, so I tend to shoot from the hip if they ask my opinion.

Why gloss it over and have a friend disappointed in your lousy advice?
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Old 02-04-2015, 03:08 PM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,199 posts, read 20,166,744 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hivemind31 View Post
I know you didn't quote me, but I'd say yes. A woman that is successful at dating (by whatever definition the question-asker uses) would be a better source of knowledge for that woman than a man would. She would be better versed in the means to ACHIEVE that objective, where a man can only speak towards what he wants.

As is the case with both genders, we're not really honest with ourselves about what we want. We'd like to think we are, but in many (I'd even say most), we're not.
There are some men on here that believe that only women are not honest about what they want - and that only men are able to give advice to anyone. It's really quite amusing!

I think that anyone that has been successful in dating or relationships can be helpful to someone who is struggling - regardless of gender. Even though many people on here seem to believe that all women and all men are the same - relationships are based on individuals and not gender generalizations. But to be perfectly honest, a lot of the people on here that are bitter and feel hopeless would be better off getting advice from people that actually know them in real life since we don't really know them enough to know what their real issues are.
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Old 02-04-2015, 03:09 PM
 
Location: My House
33,235 posts, read 27,024,397 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Idon'tdateyou View Post
As a 44 year old woman if we were strictly talking a 20 year old man being in shape and handsome and a 50 year old man not and I was looking for sex I'd probably take the 20 year old. However, as we all know it's more complicated, like say the 20 year old is obese and the 50 year old an athlete? 50 is closer to my age, what would I have in common with a 20 year old? I will say though that in general the much younger men who contacted me on dating sites were in better shape (or at least it appeared)than the 50 year old but they were mostly looking for a cougar or a sugar mama.
Well, yeah... just sex? Probably the 20yo (if all things were equal, as was originally posited).

For a relationship? The 50yo.
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Old 02-04-2015, 03:14 PM
 
Location: My House
33,235 posts, read 27,024,397 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Anabasis X View Post
You have to understand that marriage is not what men seek or at the very least not what they define as success in dating. To most men, success in dating means sex with variety of women, without ties. You should know this.

As to your advice on how to become attractive to the opposite sex, Ive figured that part out a long long time ago. And I was able to attract young, beautiful women of my choice, without much effort whatsoever. None of them were close to or post wall. Thanks for caring though.
I'm guessing that men really never did decide to make you their spokesperson.

Psychologically speaking, unmarried men are the unhappiest people you'll find anywhere. Women do better with being single than men do, after awhile.

Sure, when you're really young and horny and the world is your oyster, you may not have a mind to settle down and choose a long-term mate.

But, that's just not something that will be sustainable over time for the majority of people. Not saying ALL people. Just the majority.
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Old 02-04-2015, 03:15 PM
 
Location: My House
33,235 posts, read 27,024,397 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdroplet76 View Post
Isn't that EXACTLY what Anabasis is saying? He's saying that only HE is speaking the truth - and furthermore, that most men don't even want to get married - they just want to sleep around. And that the men on here should listen to HIM and not women. My question is - why would a man who actually wants a real relationship and possibly a marriage and a family listen to someone with that mentality? Shouldn't he listen to advice from the men that judge success in relationships the same way that he does? Shouldn't he listen to the advice from happily married men?
I suspect Anabasis would say no.

Because those married men are lying suckers who were reeled in by females because they're weak manginas, or some such nonsense.
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