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Old 02-04-2015, 03:25 PM
 
10,029 posts, read 10,859,542 times
Reputation: 5945

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Quote:
Originally Posted by RedZin View Post
Well, yeah... just sex? Probably the 20yo (if all things were equal, as was originally posited).

For a relationship? The 50yo.
Definitely. I did have many 20 year olds contact me but we didn't have much in common. The only thing I can think of that might be the same is a 20 year old is likely never married and childless while the 50 year old may have been married and has kids (or grandkids). However I know plenty of 50 year old men never married and no kids.
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Old 02-04-2015, 03:27 PM
 
4,613 posts, read 4,774,908 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RedZin View Post
I agree with this, to a point. Men can tell you about picking up women, since they... you know... pick up women.

However, I do think that women know what women like. If you can find a woman who is brutally honest with you. Thing is, many women want to be "nice" so they tend to gloss things over.

I've always had more male friends than female, so I tend to shoot from the hip if they ask my opinion.

Why gloss it over and have a friend disappointed in your lousy advice?
Not only the underlined (which I agree with), but people will also display a bias towards what they don't have. It's subconscious nature to internalize questions like this. For example:

Thread: How can I get dates with older women
Response from poster X: Yuck, I don't date older women


Ok, that's great and all, poster X, but you're not helping anybody. Poster X is treating it as if the OP was asking their permission to date older women.

Thread: How to write a profile that attracts more men
Response from poster Y: When I did OLD, I got flooded with messages from men with stupid comments like "hey baby", etc...that's why I don't do OLD any more


Same thing...poster Y didn't say anything useful and just blabbed about herself.

We have a BUNCH of "poster x" and "poster y"'s around here, just as many of us do in real life as well. And when it comes to real life advice, you see the same thing. I can't count the number of women I know with doormat boyfriends that insist that women "like men with an edge". Or women with douchebag boyfriends that insist that "all women want is a nice guy". In both those examples, they're not speaking for women, they're speaking for THEMSELVES, and what could be added to their CURRENT situation.

Men do the same thing. That guy with a sweetheart girlfriend might insist that "men want a hot body and a pretty face", or the guy with the model says that "intelligence and personality is what's most important". In both cases, they simply want to ADD those qualities to their current situation, but they certainly don't speak for ALL, or even a majority of men.

I agree that, if you can find that truly platonic woman that can somehow be brutally honest with both herself and her male friend, then they're great. But they're so rare that you may as well try to build one out of spare parts in your garage and you'll have about the same amount of luck. That's why I feel that it's easier to look to your peers that have accomplished what you hope to, whether that's to get married, sleep around, find a job, or whatever....and listen to them, for they speak from experience IN YOUR SHOES.
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Old 02-04-2015, 03:27 PM
 
10,029 posts, read 10,859,542 times
Reputation: 5945
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdroplet76 View Post
There are some men on here that believe that only women are not honest about what they want - and that only men are able to give advice to anyone. It's really quite amusing!

I think that anyone that has been successful in dating or relationships can be helpful to someone who is struggling - regardless of gender. Even though many people on here seem to believe that all women and all men are the same - relationships are based on individuals and not gender generalizations. But to be perfectly honest, a lot of the people on here that are bitter and feel hopeless would be better off getting advice from people that actually know them in real life since we don't really know them enough to know what their real issues are.
Yeah look at the older man thread where a few guys told the poster that she really desired older men. I've been told I secretly desire men with kids, even had men tell me this on dating sites. Apparently I don't know what I want and neither do women.
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Old 02-04-2015, 03:54 PM
 
203 posts, read 177,542 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hivemind31 View Post
I know you didn't quote me, but I'd say yes. A woman that is successful at dating (by whatever definition the question-asker uses) would be a better source of knowledge for that woman than a man would. She would be better versed in the means to ACHIEVE that objective, where a man can only speak towards what he wants.

As is the case with both genders, we're not really honest with ourselves about what we want. We'd like to think we are, but in many (I'd even say most), we're not.
I agree with that. I think a woman would be a perfect source of dating advice for other women, especially one that is successful at dating. Even if most of this advice could be summed up in "Look good, smile and wait for mr right to come along" its still likely the best source.
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Old 02-04-2015, 03:56 PM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,192 posts, read 25,073,504 times
Reputation: 22274
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anabasis X View Post
I agree with that. I think a woman would be a perfect source of dating advice for other women, especially one that is successful at dating. Even if most of this advice could be summed up in "Look good, smile and wait for mr right to come along" its still likely the best source.
So, although you think that women who are successful at dating would be a perfect source of dating advice - you still believe that YOU are really the best expert? I see. Interesting. Yes, "look good, smile, and wait for Mr. Right to come along" is absolutely the best advice.

Shoot. I probably won't be able to sleep tonight because I just lied.
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Old 02-04-2015, 04:26 PM
 
Location: My House
34,936 posts, read 36,079,583 times
Reputation: 26536
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hivemind31 View Post
Not only the underlined (which I agree with), but people will also display a bias towards what they don't have. It's subconscious nature to internalize questions like this. For example:

Thread: How can I get dates with older women
Response from poster X: Yuck, I don't date older women


Ok, that's great and all, poster X, but you're not helping anybody. Poster X is treating it as if the OP was asking their permission to date older women.

Thread: How to write a profile that attracts more men
Response from poster Y: When I did OLD, I got flooded with messages from men with stupid comments like "hey baby", etc...that's why I don't do OLD any more


Same thing...poster Y didn't say anything useful and just blabbed about herself.

We have a BUNCH of "poster x" and "poster y"'s around here, just as many of us do in real life as well. And when it comes to real life advice, you see the same thing. I can't count the number of women I know with doormat boyfriends that insist that women "like men with an edge". Or women with douchebag boyfriends that insist that "all women want is a nice guy". In both those examples, they're not speaking for women, they're speaking for THEMSELVES, and what could be added to their CURRENT situation.

Men do the same thing. That guy with a sweetheart girlfriend might insist that "men want a hot body and a pretty face", or the guy with the model says that "intelligence and personality is what's most important". In both cases, they simply want to ADD those qualities to their current situation, but they certainly don't speak for ALL, or even a majority of men.

I agree that, if you can find that truly platonic woman that can somehow be brutally honest with both herself and her male friend, then they're great. But they're so rare that you may as well try to build one out of spare parts in your garage and you'll have about the same amount of luck. That's why I feel that it's easier to look to your peers that have accomplished what you hope to, whether that's to get married, sleep around, find a job, or whatever....and listen to them, for they speak from experience IN YOUR SHOES.
That was a very reasonable reply and I agree with it.

The key, overall, to getting good advice from anyone is to get someone who is HAPPY AND SUCCESSFUL at whatever it is that you want.

So, you need to know a person reasonably well to have sussed out whether or not they're happy with whatever it is, and then ask them about it.

That's the problem with Internet advice. You might be getting great advice, but you don't know enough about the entity (for we have no clue what the gender of anyone on here really is, when you think about it, unless we've met in person) to know whether or not he/she is giving us the type of advice we need.

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Old 02-04-2015, 04:27 PM
 
203 posts, read 177,542 times
Reputation: 204
Quote:
Originally Posted by RedZin View Post
I'm guessing that men really never did decide to make you their spokesperson.

Psychologically speaking, unmarried men are the unhappiest people you'll find anywhere. Women do better with being single than men do, after awhile.

Sure, when you're really young and horny and the world is your oyster, you may not have a mind to settle down and choose a long-term mate.

But, that's just not something that will be sustainable over time for the majority of people. Not saying ALL people. Just the majority.
Women are 400% less happy than they were 50 years ago. Is that sustainable in your opinion? Do you know anything about SSRI and antidepressant use by women in the US? Im really only few years younger than you, and have a steady girlfriend whom I love and cherish, but I am open about the way I view this world. This isn't to make anyone upset, troll or give anyone hard time. These are just some truths and things I have learned in my life.
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Old 02-04-2015, 04:30 PM
 
203 posts, read 177,542 times
Reputation: 204
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdroplet76 View Post
So, although you think that women who are successful at dating would be a perfect source of dating advice - you still believe that YOU are really the best expert? I see. Interesting. Yes, "look good, smile, and wait for Mr. Right to come along" is absolutely the best advice.

Shoot. I probably won't be able to sleep tonight because I just lied.
You should be used to it, wouldn't expect that to keep you up at night.
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Old 02-04-2015, 04:34 PM
 
Location: My House
34,936 posts, read 36,079,583 times
Reputation: 26536
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anabasis X View Post
Women are 400% less happy than they were 50 years ago. Is that sustainable in your opinion? Do you know anything about SSRI and antidepressant use by women in the US? Im really only few years younger than you, and have a steady girlfriend whom I love and cherish, but I am open about the way I view this world. This isn't to make anyone upset, troll or give anyone hard time. These are just some truths and things I have learned in my life.
I know plenty about the topics you've mentioned... combination of education and schooling plus my given career.

I'm not trying to paint this topic with my own personal experiences, though. I'm going strictly from statistics. Women may well be unhappier now (I'd need to look that up)... but, I'm not sure men are any happier (again, I'd need to source that). There's a good chance that society appears to be unhappier now, BUT... maybe we only know about all that thanks to the Internet.

Of course, I know that antidepressant use really blew up with the advent of Prozac (and all other SSRIs/SNRIs and variants created since then), but just because you see more women being prescribed them, that doesn't mean that men are happier. Men tend not to reach out for help as often and rely on things like booze to act as their "drug therapy."

I'm quite open minded in the way I view the world. The reality is that people talk about "the good old days" as if people were all happy back then.

Well, Sylvia Plath may have stuck her head in an oven and we all know that, but one of my dear friends had a mother who killed herself around that same time... only she wasn't famous and we didn't have social media back then, or more people would've known immediately. My point being... is anyone really less happy? Or do we just think that people are less happy because we get more information?

Hard to say.
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Old 02-04-2015, 04:36 PM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,192 posts, read 25,073,504 times
Reputation: 22274
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anabasis X View Post
Women are 400% less happy than they were 50 years ago. Is that sustainable in your opinion? Do you know anything about SSRI and antidepressant use by women in the US? Im really only few years younger than you, and have a steady girlfriend whom I love and cherish, but I am open about the way I view this world. This isn't to make anyone upset, troll or give anyone hard time. These are just some truths and things I have learned in my life.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anabasis X View Post
You should be used to it, wouldn't expect that to keep you up at night.
I wonder where you get your "truths" from. Does your girlfriend know about your "truths?"

What was your former name here? Were you banned? Wouldn't coming back with a new name when that is agains the rules be lying?
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