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Old 02-10-2015, 07:09 PM
 
321 posts, read 268,653 times
Reputation: 436

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar View Post
Regardless of how many failed first dates I have, I'm not going to start offering to pay for more than my half of the date. Men aren't going to think "Oh that's cool she paid for me. I have to ask her out again!" They're going to take out the woman that they actually like and pay for the date. lol
Meh. My point is just that rigidity in general is not good when it comes to dating, particularly if you're not getting many dates. I'm not saying paying is going to make them like you per se, just that a more flexible approach to men and dating in general might lead to more success.
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Old 02-10-2015, 07:14 PM
 
Location: Sugarland
13,230 posts, read 11,758,953 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UC18 View Post
Meh. My point is just that rigidity in general is not good when it comes to dating, particularly if you're not getting many dates. I'm not saying paying is going to make them like you per se, just that a more flexible approach to men and dating in general might lead to more success.
We're only talking about paying for first dates here, and once again, I'm not paying for more than my half. If that makes me inflexible, I can live with that.
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Old 02-10-2015, 07:31 PM
 
321 posts, read 268,653 times
Reputation: 436
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar View Post
We're only talking about paying for first dates here, and once again, I'm not paying for more than my half. If that makes me inflexible, I can live with that.
Fair enough. Like I said, if what you're doing is getting you the results you want, carry on.
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Old 02-10-2015, 07:36 PM
 
Location: Sugarland
13,230 posts, read 11,758,953 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UC18 View Post
Fair enough. Like I said, if what you're doing is getting you the results you want, carry on.
I'm carrying on either way since my "first date payment system" has nothing to do with the results of those dates.
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Old 02-10-2015, 07:41 PM
 
366 posts, read 294,253 times
Reputation: 876
I think a man not paying/offering to pay for a first date would be a huge red flag. I would think that his reasoning for that is to deliberately not comply with traditional male roles. I would also think he's probably difficult to deal with and I'd have to walk on eggshells so as not to offend him. Just like I wouldn't want to be around a militant feminist who's going to find fault with everything I say.

So there'd be no second date, but not because I had to pay. More the principle behind it and what him not paying might indicate.
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Old 02-10-2015, 07:49 PM
 
Location: Denver, CO
2,391 posts, read 1,710,263 times
Reputation: 1915
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar View Post
I've been on lots of first dates. Sometimes the guys paid and sometimes we split. I never decided not to see anyone again based on the fact that he didn't pay for the date, but I probably thought to myself that he wasn't that interested in me (which was probably true).
If it was a cheap first date and they asked you to split, you're probably right about them not being interested. At least that's what I'd do.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar View Post
Yet you'd be willing to pass on a great girl because she doesn't pull out any money on a first date?
I never said that. I pay for a first date in it's entirety nearly 95% of the time. The only time I don't is when I'm completely turned off by the girl, and then I might accept her offer to split it. I would never expect her to pay for all of it though.

I do think it is a bit of a turn off, though, if a girl doesn't offer to pay her own way. It's just assuming that "I got this for you" and that's not attractive to me at all.
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Old 02-10-2015, 07:53 PM
 
Location: Denver, CO
2,391 posts, read 1,710,263 times
Reputation: 1915
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar View Post
We're only talking about paying for first dates here, and once again, I'm not paying for more than my half. If that makes me inflexible, I can live with that.
I think, at the very least, the girl should offer to pay her half on any date. That said, most guys will probably decline the offer and cover the bill in its entirety (especially if they like where it's going). At least for me, this is the right way to do it.
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Old 02-10-2015, 07:53 PM
 
141 posts, read 110,960 times
Reputation: 301
I always pay for my share, but I secretly appreciate someone who picks up the tab for me on our first date. I also tend to meet for a coffee (I don't want to make anyone pay for my dinner), so that I get to talk to the person and get to know him better.
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Old 02-10-2015, 08:01 PM
 
940 posts, read 523,663 times
Reputation: 447
Quote:
Originally Posted by steelstress View Post
Hmm...I'm a woman, 55... back in my heyday (my 20's), if I paid for my share of a date, it was because I decided I really didn't want a second date, and the the guy figured that by my offer. So, no hard feelings or problems with the guy "expecting" something in return.

Times have changed. Glad I read this thread. Have begun dating again and will start offering to cover something when a man asks me out.
Steelstress I am going to assume you may date older men so this does not apply to most. These men are old school and will still pay but I guess you can suggest . Today chivalry is gone .
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Old 02-10-2015, 08:05 PM
 
621 posts, read 791,419 times
Reputation: 192
Well I asked this guy out for Valentine's Day, and he asked me what I would like to do, after giving him 3 ideas he has not replied so who knows.
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