First Date Payment System (wives, social, conversation, feelings)

[rumpa]

Originally Posted by disneygogetter

Well I asked this guy out for Valentine's Day, and he asked me what I would like to do, after giving him 3 ideas he has not replied so who knows.

Isn't it a little soon for a Valentine's date?

That can put a lot of pressure on him. Are you exclusively dating or just testing the waters?

[Sweet Like Sugar]

Originally Posted by Lafleur

I think, at the very least, the girl should offer to pay her half on any date. That said, most guys will probably decline the offer and cover the bill in its entirety (especially if they like where it's going). At least for me, this is the right way to do it.

Yup. I feel more inclined to keep expenses low and offer to pay for myself because I always do online dating so that means that these guys are strangers and they don't know whether they like me yet.

[lycos679]

Originally Posted by shopalcholic

Steelstress I am going to assume you may date older men so this does not apply to most. These men are old school and will still pay but I guess you can suggest . Today chivalry is gone .

Chivalry is sexist.

[Sweet Like Sugar]

Originally Posted by disneygogetter

Well I asked this guy out for Valentine's Day, and he asked me what I would like to do, after giving him 3 ideas he has not replied so who knows.

Have you asked him out on two dates in a row now or did I miss something?

[UC18]

Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar

I'm carrying on either way since my "first date payment system" has nothing to do with the results of those dates.

I'm just saying that the rigid attitude that leads to a "system" probably has something to do with the results of those dates, if not the paying itself. I think you must know this on some level, so I'll stop repeating it. Change when you're ready for change. Until then, carry on with the same results.

[Sweet Like Sugar]

Originally Posted by UC18

I'm just saying that the rigid attitude that leads to a "system" probably has something to do with the results of those dates, if not the paying itself. I think you must know this on some level, so I'll stop repeating it. Change when you're ready for change. Until then, carry on with the same results.

Sounds like you're repeating it to me. Not paying for first dates only affects men's dating results.

[Dewdroplet76]

Originally Posted by UC18

I'm just saying that the rigid attitude that leads to a "system" probably has something to do with the results of those dates, if not the paying itself. I think you must know this on some level, so I'll stop repeating it. Change when you're ready for change. Until then, carry on with the same results.

How exactly do you think this is affecting her results? I would venture to say that anyone that makes a big deal about the check probably has problems dating - but I would guess that MOST people do not make a big deal out of it. A man paying for a check or a women offering to pay (or paying) probably is a bonus if they are already liked by the other person - but I don't think that either paying or not paying is usually enough to make or break a relationship.

[UC18]

Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar

Sounds like you're repeating it to me. Not paying for first dates only affects men's dating results.

Best of luck to you, then.

[UC18]

Originally Posted by Dewdroplet76

How exactly do you think this is affecting her results?

There is a rigid personality type coming across in her posts and in her adherence to "systems" that is likely turning guys off on the first date, to be blunt.

[Dewdroplet76]

Originally Posted by UC18

There is a rigid personality type coming across in her posts and in her adherence to "systems" that is likely turning guys off on the first date, to be blunt.

Really? I don't think that her system sounds rigid at all. It doesn't even sound like a system, honestly. She either accepts someone paying for her or she pays her share. I'm not sure what is rigid or even system-like about this...