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Old 02-11-2015, 08:54 AM
 
32,716 posts, read 22,656,169 times
Reputation: 29772

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdroplet76 View Post
Dating isn't about "earning." If you are dating a woman that wants to be taken care of financially - then she is not the woman for you simply because you don't want to take care of a woman financially. That's enough. End of story. Bringing equal rights and equal pay into the conversation just makes it sound like you have a huge chip on your shoulder that women want equal rights and equal pay.

I don't know about this guy, but in general, there are certain accounting / financial / MBA types that see EVERYTHING as a business transaction. They're always mentally/emotionally/financially doing cost benefit analysis and tracking expenditures and incomes... it is almost like it isn't conscious, it is just who they are. I've worked with a bunch, ran into even more at a Big 4 place I worked, and became friends with a few in grad school... they're never just chill and happy with dating. They're always analyzing something.
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Old 02-11-2015, 08:55 AM
 
Location: Denver, CO
2,391 posts, read 1,709,855 times
Reputation: 1915
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
But in a dating context, everyone wants to feel like they're special to the one they're with. So it's not so much about a man taking care of a woman because she's a woman, it's her date wanting to show her that he thinks she's awesome. And she'll be doing things to show him her appreciation, as well.
And that's fine. I've very well versed in this area, having taken many women out on very nice dates.

I don't mind showing an awesome woman that I appreciate her. I've done it plenty of times.

I'm just not down with a woman who feels entitled to something because she's a woman.

And remember, it's always a two way street. The woman should be willing to show a man that she appreciates him by doing nice things for him.
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Old 02-11-2015, 08:59 AM
 
Location: Denver, CO
2,391 posts, read 1,709,855 times
Reputation: 1915
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
I don't know about this guy, but in general, there are certain accounting / financial / MBA types that see EVERYTHING as a business transaction. They're always mentally/emotionally/financially doing cost benefit analysis and tracking expenditures and incomes... it is almost like it isn't conscious, it is just who they are. I've worked with a bunch, ran into even more at a Big 4 place I worked, and became friends with a few in grad school... they're never just chill and happy with dating. They're always analyzing something.
So you're trying to pin a stereotype to me? That's nice.

You sure don't appreciate it when it's done to you, so I'm not sure why you're trying to do it to me.

Is this a good enough example of a double-standard for you?
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Old 02-11-2015, 09:03 AM
 
32,716 posts, read 22,656,169 times
Reputation: 29772
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lafleur View Post
So you're trying to pin a stereotype to me? That's nice.

You sure don't appreciate it when it's done to you, so I'm not sure why you're trying to do it to me.

Is this a good enough example of a double-standard for you?

I didn't say anything about you. I specifically said I don't know about you. I was commenting on a type of person. I never once said anything about you.

Please read.

Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
I don't know about this guy, but in general
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Old 02-11-2015, 09:05 AM
 
Location: Denver, CO
2,391 posts, read 1,709,855 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
I didn't say anything about you. I specifically said I don't know about you. I was commenting on a type of person. I never once said anything about you.

Please read.

Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
I don't know about this guy, but in general
It's pretty clear you're trying to associate this "type" to me.
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Old 02-11-2015, 09:09 AM
 
Location: Northern VA (for now)
23,000 posts, read 31,942,334 times
Reputation: 30372
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
I don't know about this guy, but in general, there are certain accounting / financial / MBA types that see EVERYTHING as a business transaction. They're always mentally/emotionally/financially doing cost benefit analysis and tracking expenditures and incomes... it is almost like it isn't conscious, it is just who they are. I've worked with a bunch, ran into even more at a Big 4 place I worked, and became friends with a few in grad school... they're never just chill and happy with dating. They're always analyzing something.
Well I'm one of them and I don't see it as anything to be ashamed of.
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Old 02-11-2015, 09:25 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,907 posts, read 34,966,446 times
Reputation: 42368
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
But in a dating context, everyone wants to feel like they're special to the one they're with. So it's not so much about a man taking care of a woman because she's a woman, it's her date wanting to show her that he thinks she's awesome. And she'll be doing things to show him her appreciation, as well.
How frequently do we hear on this forum about ballbusters who sneer at doors being held for them or who crow about not needing a man? They are portrayed negatively 100% of the time. Heck, even the word "feminist" is used as an insult.
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Old 02-11-2015, 09:28 AM
 
32,716 posts, read 22,656,169 times
Reputation: 29772
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
Heck, even the word "feminist" is used as an insult.

This is still jaw dropping to me.

I have to imagine (maybe I just hope that it is true) that every guy that used feminist as a negative, if they had a daughter, would immediately see the stupidity of their ways and become a pro feminist at the time of birth. What man out there would want anything but equal rights, opportunities, and access for their daughters?

Maybe, sadly, I'm off. I don't know.
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Old 02-11-2015, 09:32 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
21,461 posts, read 22,692,102 times
Reputation: 45123
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
How frequently do we hear on this forum about ballbusters who sneer at doors being held for them or who crow about not needing a man? They are portrayed negatively 100% of the time. Heck, even the word "feminist" is used as an insult.
So some dudes just like traditional gender roles until the check comes.
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Old 02-11-2015, 09:33 AM
 
Location: Sugarland
13,228 posts, read 11,754,597 times
Reputation: 15243
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lafleur View Post
Women want the same opportunities as men. They want equal pay as men. But they also want to be taken care of by men.

With all the double-standards that exist, it's very easy to not empathize with their causes.
I'm not fully caught up on this thread, so forgive me if I missed a few posts. I make a decent living. Decent enough that I don't need a man to support me financially. When I go out on dates, of course I can afford to pay for myself or even the entire cost of the date. With the guy I dated for over a year, we took turns alternating who paid for the date and I had no problem with that. Even with the guys I dated for a handful of dates, I paid for at least one or more of the dates.

I get that you feel like you're at a disadvantage because you're a man and women "expect" you to pay for things. I would just ask you, if you ever have a daughter who starts dating men, with all things being equal would you encourage her to date the guy who's willing to treat her to an Outback Steakhouse dinner or a guy who's adamant about not paying for dates because he thinks women shouldn't receive special treatment?
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