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Old 02-09-2015, 12:50 PM
 
Location: Sugarland
13,247 posts, read 11,817,100 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by smarties66 View Post
Men should always pay, period.
I'd gladly pay all the time if men had periods and I didn't.
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Old 02-09-2015, 10:25 PM
 
6,455 posts, read 9,543,191 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sweet like sugar View Post
i'd gladly pay all the time if men had periods and i didn't.
roflmao!!!
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Old 02-09-2015, 10:31 PM
 
6,455 posts, read 9,543,191 times
Reputation: 10766
Quote:
Originally Posted by onihC View Post
Good for you that you will have the decency and courtesy to offer. Even better if you mean it instead of just a I tried.
it certainly wouldn't be indecent not to offer. If someone asks someone out on a date, the one who asks should expect to pay. It's not like you're hanging with one of your boys.
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Old 02-10-2015, 01:07 AM
 
321 posts, read 269,854 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by disneygogetter View Post
I've gone on first dates like anyone else, some where the guy paid a good portion of the time while others they didn't pay or we went half and half.

Its been a month since I've been on a date so I am wondering tomorrow is a movie, walk around, and dinner, should I pay for 1 of these or just wait and see if this guy pays for everything or what to do?

What is the proper and right thing to do in today's world?
There's no universal "proper and right thing," but generally speaking I've found if one person pays for one thing the other person will pay for the other thing.

I'm also used to most dates happening when two people mutually agree that they'd like to get together, though, rather than one person asking the other person out of the blue. In the latter scenario I could see the argument for the person who asks doing all the paying, though it would still be classy to at least offer to pay for part.
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Old 02-10-2015, 01:57 AM
 
6,250 posts, read 5,849,343 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by steelstress View Post
it certainly wouldn't be indecent not to offer. If someone asks someone out on a date, the one who asks should expect to pay. It's not like you're hanging with one of your boys.
Whoever asks pays = men should pay. We can't deny the fact that even today men do the majority of the asking out. When you go out with friends it doesn't matter who came up with the plan, who drove, or whatever. Everybody goes out to have a good time and when its time to pay for an expense its not like you look at your friend and expect her to pay for everything because she was the one that called you or something. Nope. You want to be there as much as your friend so feeling entitled to be paid for would not make you feel nice, would it? So why would this have to be any different with a friend of the opposite sex you want to be with as much as he wants to be with you to go out and spend some time together? I am sure someone will say that when you have a guest at home you don't expect them to do anything because they are your guests. At home? Yes they are your guests but still, maybe it has to do with the culture I come from, if I get invited to a house to have dinner for example I would still remove my plate from the table after eating and I will hear the typical "Oh no no no, leave it there" and I will still laugh it off and just take it to the kitchen sink. After the dinner or get-together I will pick up, put stuff in a trash bag, etc. Not only that but I am not used to visiting someone empty handed. I will be ringing that doorbell with some snacks, a dessert, a bottle of whatever drink they like, or something. It's just common courtesy and appreciation. At least that's me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by UC18 View Post
There's no universal "proper and right thing," but generally speaking I've found if one person pays for one thing the other person will pay for the other thing.
That makes sense.
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Old 02-10-2015, 02:42 AM
 
621 posts, read 796,643 times
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I did ask him out for Valentines Day and he says he's never gone out on VDay.
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Old 02-10-2015, 03:17 AM
 
Location: Polynesia
2,146 posts, read 1,113,968 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by onihC View Post
Whoever asks pays = men should pay. We can't deny the fact that even today men do the majority of the asking out. When you go out with friends it doesn't matter who came up with the plan, who drove, or whatever. Everybody goes out to have a good time and when its time to pay for an expense its not like you look at your friend and expect her to pay for everything because she was the one that called you or something. Nope. You want to be there as much as your friend so feeling entitled to be paid for would not make you feel nice, would it? So why would this have to be any different with a friend of the opposite sex you want to be with as much as he wants to be with you to go out and spend some time together? I am sure someone will say that when you have a guest at home you don't expect them to do anything because they are your guests. At home? Yes they are your guests but still, maybe it has to do with the culture I come from, if I get invited to a house to have dinner for example I would still remove my plate from the table after eating and I will hear the typical "Oh no no no, leave it there" and I will still laugh it off and just take it to the kitchen sink. After the dinner or get-together I will pick up, put stuff in a trash bag, etc. Not only that but I am not used to visiting someone empty handed. I will be ringing that doorbell with some snacks, a dessert, a bottle of whatever drink they like, or something. It's just common courtesy and appreciation. At least that's me.



That makes sense.
I always pay when I invite my friends out. They can return the favor if they choose to and when/if they do, I will let them. But if that never happens, that is okay too. I enjoy and take pleasure in treating my friends.

Last edited by Butterflyfish; 02-10-2015 at 03:26 AM..
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Old 02-10-2015, 03:21 AM
 
Location: Polynesia
2,146 posts, read 1,113,968 times
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I dont like the idea of splitting the check. It seems so petty and ungracious. I'd rather just let them make it up to me next time.
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Old 02-10-2015, 05:04 AM
 
Location: Polynesia
2,146 posts, read 1,113,968 times
Reputation: 3677
Quote:
Originally Posted by disneygogetter View Post
I did ask him out for Valentines Day and he says he's never gone out on VDay.
You initiated the previous date, and now you've initiated the Valentine date. Maybe at this point you should sit back and do nothing and let him make a step towards you.
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Old 02-10-2015, 10:27 AM
 
6,250 posts, read 5,849,343 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Butterflyfish View Post
I dont like the idea of splitting the check. It seems so petty and ungracious. I'd rather just let them make it up to me next time.
That's what I think too. Its not like someone takes out a calculator to count pennies and divide by two. She pays for dinner, I pay for the movies, etc. Generosity and courtesy just goes back and forth. Nobody is put on a pedestal, there are no entitlements regardless of gender or time we have gone out dating.
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