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Old 02-10-2015, 10:32 AM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,199 posts, read 20,166,744 times
Reputation: 22093

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Quote:
Originally Posted by onihC View Post
That's what I think too. Itís not like someone takes out a calculator to count pennies and divide by two. She pays for dinner, I pay for the movies, etc. Generosity and courtesy just goes back and forth. Nobody is put on a pedestal, there are no entitlements regardless of gender or time we have gone out dating.
My husband and I have a different mentality about our relationship. We both go out of our way to try to make each other feel special. It's not just about generosity and courtesy - which we try to extend to everyone - it's more about really trying to make the other person feel special. I think sometimes people get so caught up in trying to make sure everything is equal and that they aren't being taken advantage of that the miss out on how good it feels to make someone feel special. I think it's perfectly fine to put someone on a pedestal if that's where you want to put them.
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Old 02-10-2015, 11:22 AM
 
Location: Sugarland
13,247 posts, read 11,817,100 times
Reputation: 15287
I'm obviously not a guy, but if the roles were reversed:

1. There wouldn't be too many men who I would want to ask on a date in the first place.
2. Out of those I did ask, not all would accept.
3. I have a job and can afford to pay for the date, so no need to grumble and complain when the bill comes.
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Old 02-10-2015, 11:28 AM
 
6,250 posts, read 5,849,343 times
Reputation: 3544
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdroplet76 View Post
My husband and I have a different mentality about our relationship. We both go out of our way to try to make each other feel special. It's not just about generosity and courtesy - which we try to extend to everyone - it's more about really trying to make the other person feel special. I think sometimes people get so caught up in trying to make sure everything is equal and that they aren't being taken advantage of that the miss out on how good it feels to make someone feel special. I think it's perfectly fine to put someone on a pedestal if that's where you want to put them.
And sometimes its not even about trying to make something equal. It's just common courtesy and manners and many times just cultural. I am happy to visit someone who invited me to their place with a dessert, the drinks, or whatever. Maybe I won't go to the kitchen to cook what someone is cooking for me necessarily but I can remove my plate from the table. Little things like that.
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Old 02-10-2015, 11:30 AM
 
6,250 posts, read 5,849,343 times
Reputation: 3544
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar View Post
3. I have a job and can afford to pay for the date, so no need to grumble and complain when the bill comes.
You have a job and therefor you can afford to pay for a date but you still expect men to be the ones who take care of your expenses, correct?
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Old 02-10-2015, 11:30 AM
 
Location: Northern VA (for now)
23,047 posts, read 32,045,030 times
Reputation: 30483
Quote:
Originally Posted by smarties66 View Post
Men should always pay, period.
Defend this foolish logic.
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Old 02-10-2015, 11:34 AM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,199 posts, read 20,166,744 times
Reputation: 22093
Quote:
Originally Posted by onihC View Post
And sometimes its not even about trying to make something equal. It's just common courtesy and manners and many times just cultural. I am happy to visit someone who invited me to their place with a dessert, the drinks, or whatever. Maybe I won't go to the kitchen to cook what someone is cooking for me necessarily but I can remove my plate from the table. Little things like that.
We are talking about two different things.
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Old 02-10-2015, 11:35 AM
 
Location: Sugarland
13,247 posts, read 11,817,100 times
Reputation: 15287
Quote:
Originally Posted by onihC View Post
You have a job and therefor you can afford to pay for a date but you still expect men to be the ones who take care of your expenses, correct?
No, I've paid for lots of dates.
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Old 02-10-2015, 11:40 AM
 
6,250 posts, read 5,849,343 times
Reputation: 3544
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar View Post
No, I've paid for lots of dates.
Nice .
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Old 02-10-2015, 11:47 AM
 
Location: San Bernandino, CA
245 posts, read 162,886 times
Reputation: 324
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter View Post
Defend this foolish logic.
Men should always pay for a first date... there's nothing for her to defend about that. It's just one of those things.

I can't believe how many cheap ass guys there are here, seriously
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Old 02-10-2015, 11:57 AM
 
Location: Northern VA (for now)
23,047 posts, read 32,045,030 times
Reputation: 30483
Quote:
Originally Posted by JoeSmith357 View Post
Men should always pay for a first date... there's nothing for her to defend about that. It's just one of those things.

I can't believe how many cheap ass guys there are here, seriously
What if she asked me on the date? Anyone who thinks I'm paying for a date I was asked on is crazy. Not a damn thing to do with being cheap.
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