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Old 02-04-2015, 01:40 PM
 
Location: "Silicon Valley" (part of San Francisco Bay Area, California, USA)
3,691 posts, read 2,647,623 times
Reputation: 1634

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ashleyga View Post
There is no disservice. The only disservice is if you continue to spread this idea that gay men do not run greater risk, but people who have anal sex do. That is incorrect.
It is not incorrect. Anyone who has sex has some risk of HIV and other STDs.

Gay men were originally at higher risk of HIV/AIDS because they weren't using condoms. That was in the 80s when HIV/AIDS was a new thing. This is 2014. But anyone who does not use protected sex is at higher risk of an STD.

My own risk is nearly zero because I have never had sex and probably will never have sex...but those of you who actually have people reciprocate your feelings do need to use protection.

 
Old 02-04-2015, 01:40 PM
 
1,287 posts, read 890,354 times
Reputation: 1716
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ashleyga View Post
Okay, the only reason I'm continuing to respond is because there is a very misguided myth out there that everyone is equally at risk for HIV/AID. This is a very wrong belief.

This obviously stems from the aids epidemic from the 80's in which, it was believed that only gay men could contract the disease. This, of course, is also wrong and only served an anti-gay agenda. People have still not educated themselves about this disease, sufficiently. Nothing against you in particular -- because a lot of people think the way you do. Men and women, heterosexual and homosexual, are not equally at risk for contracting Aids/HIV.

Gay men are more susceptible to this disease, more so than heterosexual, because they specifically engage in anal sex more often than heterosexual couples. There is an 18 times greater risk of HIV transmission through anal sex than through vaginal sex. The reason why it is less prevalent in heterosexual couples, is because they may engage in both vaginal and anal, so the risk of contracting HIV through anal sex decreases significantly, even if they don't use protection.

It is important that people are aware, especially gay men, that they run higher risk of contracting this disease. This misconstrued belief that everyone is equally as likely to get infected is wrong. Which explains why the virus continues to thrive in gay men, despite the fact that they still receive the bulk of HIV awareness and treatment public-health messages.

I can't stress how important it is to educate yourself in sexual health and to not fall victim into these false, popularized ideas.
You really need to step away from your classroom notes and pay attention. I don't deny that gay males have a higher risk. What you need to know that it's already understood, and doesn't need to be repeated. If group A has 50% infected and group B has 5%, Your argument isn't needed, it's understood. It isn't the act of gay anal sex that is the problem, doing it without a condom is. It really doesn't matter if the chances are 18x's greater, or 2x's, what matters is the use of protection.

I appreciate you taking the time to educate me about sexual health, but it's really not needed. Not sure the extent of your experiences are, but as a male who has had significantly more encounters with different women, than the average, I think I have a solid handle on sexual health. I have had one STI in college that was eliminated with antibiotics, and because I don't like the feeling of urinating glass, I used protection with every woman since.

The bottom line is that protection is the key. Using it will lower the chances of contracting HIV, let alone most STI's. Gay men, straight couples, it doesn't matter. Gay or straight couples are placing themselves at risk by not using condoms. From what you say, straight couples can go without, because the chances of infection are minimal. The chances are non existent, if they only have vaginal sex. The flaw in this theory, is that HIV can lay dormant, and undetected, to anyone who isn't tested. So someone can have a single encounter, and then infect many afterwards, without knowledge. Did you know that black married men and their wives are one of the segments of the population that has seen an increase in the numbers of unreported HIV? Married couples where the male was on the DL, then brought it home to his only vaginal sex, wife. That woman wasn't having gay anal sex, yet she is now another statistic from an ever growing segment who are newly infected. Protection would have decreased her chances of contracting the disease. Even if she had your notes memorized, and avoided the risk, she gets infected, because she didn't use condoms......
 
Old 02-04-2015, 01:41 PM
 
Location: St. Catharines, ON
718 posts, read 467,700 times
Reputation: 1022
Quote:
Originally Posted by neutrino78x View Post
It is not incorrect. Anyone who has sex has some risk of HIV and other STDs.

Gay men were originally at higher risk of HIV/AIDS because they weren't using condoms. That was in the 80s when HIV/AIDS was a new thing. This is 2014. But anyone who does not use protected sex is at higher risk of an STD.

My own risk is nearly zero because I have never had sex and probably will never have sex...but those of you who actually have people reciprocate your feelings do need to use protection.
I mean, this is misinformation. I don't know how else to plainly say it.

https://www.aids.gov/hiv-aids-basics...01/statistics/
 
Old 02-04-2015, 01:46 PM
 
Location: St. Catharines, ON
718 posts, read 467,700 times
Reputation: 1022
Quote:
Originally Posted by vigueur2014 View Post
You really need to step away from your classroom notes and pay attention. I don't deny that gay males have a higher risk. What you need to know that it's already understood, and doesn't need to be repeated. If group A has 50% infected and group B has 5%, Your argument isn't needed, it's understood. It isn't the act of gay anal sex that is the problem, doing it without a condom is. It really doesn't matter if the chances are 18x's greater, or 2x's, what matters is the use of protection.

I appreciate you taking the time to educate me about sexual health, but it's really not needed. Not sure the extent of your experiences are, but as a male who has had significantly more encounters with different women, than the average, I think I have a solid handle on sexual health. I have had one STI in college that was eliminated with antibiotics, and because I don't like the feeling of urinating glass, I used protection with every woman since.

The bottom line is that protection is the key. Using it will lower the chances of contracting HIV, let alone most STI's. Gay men, straight couples, it doesn't matter. Gay or straight couples are placing themselves at risk by not using condoms. From what you say, straight couples can go without, because the chances of infection are minimal. The chances are non existent, if they only have vaginal sex. The flaw in this theory, is that HIV can lay dormant, and undetected, to anyone who isn't tested. So someone can have a single encounter, and then infect many afterwards, without knowledge. Did you know that black married men and their wives are one of the segments of the population that has seen an increase in the numbers of unreported HIV? Married couples where the male was on the DL, then brought it home to his only vaginal sex, wife. That woman wasn't having gay anal sex, yet she is now another statistic from an ever growing segment who are newly infected. Protection would have decreased her chances of contracting the disease. Even if she had your notes memorized, and avoided the risk, she gets infected, because she didn't use condoms......
1) Yes, I've always said that everyone should use condoms. I never once said that only gays need to protect themselves.

2) Wrong. Read my posts carefully because I have never, ever diminished the possibility of heterosexual couples getting aids.

3) I've said multiple times that the gay community isn't the one with the greatest cases of HIV, but rather run greater risk of getting infected.

4) Again, you're missing the entire point of my posts. Everyone should wear condoms. But gay men who don't* wear condoms run greater risk of contracting HIV than heterosexual couples who don't.

And to clarify, saying they run greater risk doesn't mean they're the only ones capable of contracting the disease. Those terms are not synonymous.
 
Old 02-04-2015, 02:20 PM
 
Location: My House
33,093 posts, read 26,911,655 times
Reputation: 24449
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ashleyga View Post
So wrong.

When two gay men have sex, one will always be engaging in anal sex. Saying that men who're "top" don't need to worry about anal sex STD transmission is like telling a woman not to use condoms if she's having vaginal sex.
Nope. Nope.

Some gay men only have oral. I know a few couples like that.

They're usually couples where one was traditionally a "bottom" and the other was, too.

Neither wants to be a "top."

Or, vice versa.

So, they stick to oral.

I also know one couple where they're just not into it. They've both done it in the past, but they're not into it now. And they're a married gay couple who have been together for years.



So, yeah... some just don't.

Just like the good many lesbians who don't use strap-ons.

They exist.
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Old 02-04-2015, 03:04 PM
 
Location: St Thomas, US Virgin Islands
24,671 posts, read 55,623,413 times
Reputation: 26421
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ashleyga View Post

Again, you're missing the entire point of my posts.
The point that you keep missing is that the majority here is older/more experienced than you with some of us having been around since dinosaurs roamed and who were adults when the AIDS virus was first given a name. You're pointing out very basic facts on human sexuality as though to a group of 10 year olds. I suppose in a way it's rather charming and at least gives others the opportunity to correct some of the misinformation you've managed to accumulate in your studies - but it's nonetheless the point which you are missing. Hopefully this thread (as way off topic as it's inexorably veered) will be of use to you in dispelling some of that misinformation and encourage you to continue to learn and understand those things about which you're a bit fuzzy. Good luck!
 
Old 02-04-2015, 03:12 PM
 
Location: St. Catharines, ON
718 posts, read 467,700 times
Reputation: 1022
Quote:
Originally Posted by RedZin View Post
Nope. Nope.

Some gay men only have oral. I know a few couples like that.

They're usually couples where one was traditionally a "bottom" and the other was, too.

Neither wants to be a "top."

Or, vice versa.

So, they stick to oral.

I also know one couple where they're just not into it. They've both done it in the past, but they're not into it now. And they're a married gay couple who have been together for years.



So, yeah... some just don't.

Just like the good many lesbians who don't use strap-ons.

They exist.

Yes, I know, I know. I completely misinterpreted the response. I thought he meant that men who were top (i.e not receiving) did not run risks of contracting the disease. That was my fault.

Quote:
Originally Posted by STT Resident View Post
The point that you keep missing is that the majority here is older/more experienced than you with some of us having been around since dinosaurs roamed and who were adults when the AIDS virus was first given a name. You're pointing out very basic facts on human sexuality as though to a group of 10 year olds. I suppose in a way it's rather charming and at least gives others the opportunity to correct some of the misinformation you've managed to accumulate in your studies - but it's nonetheless the point which you are missing. Hopefully this thread (as way off topic as it's inexorably veered) will be of use to you in dispelling some of that misinformation and encourage you to continue to learn and understand those things about which you're a bit fuzzy. Good luck!
Before you try to patronize me because I "haven't been around since the dinosaur", mind telling me what is that I'm fuzzy about?
 
Old 02-04-2015, 03:58 PM
 
Location: St Thomas, US Virgin Islands
24,671 posts, read 55,623,413 times
Reputation: 26421
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ashleyga View Post
Before you try to patronize me because I "haven't been around since the dinosaur", mind telling me what is that I'm fuzzy about?
I'm sorry you found my delivery as attempted patronizing which it certainly wasn't intended to be but there's no point rehashing the points already made which you've been corrected on and which you've then come back to with the "I misinterpreted that/didn't read it like that/wasn't sure what you meant" defense. Untwist those knickers.
 
Old 02-04-2015, 04:00 PM
 
Location: Central IL
13,394 posts, read 7,146,559 times
Reputation: 31131
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ashleyga View Post
So wrong.

When two gay men have sex, one will always be engaging in anal sex. Saying that men who're "top" don't need to worry about anal sex STD transmission is like telling a woman not to use condoms if she's having vaginal sex.

WTH?! Don't you know anything? Just like two straight people can say "only oral" so can two gay guys!...and maybe that's all they EVER do! What a maroon!
 
Old 02-04-2015, 04:01 PM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,199 posts, read 20,129,254 times
Reputation: 22092
Back to the OP, you don't have to "convince" someone to have a threesome. Either this is something that she would consider or not. If she won't consider you, you really can't convince her. If this is something that appeals to her, then you have a chance.
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