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Background: my ex has only been in 1 long term relationship in grade 8 & hasn't been in one since. his friends have told me that he's always been afraid to commit. We are both now 20.
We started talking 1.5 yrs ago and didn't expect much, but we fell for each other and b/c he was out of province, we pursued each other LD until he came home. When we got together during christmas, we only fell deeper. We had strong feelings for each other and wanted to wait until he's home to be official (4 months later-he lives 1hr from me). When he came back, he asked me to meet his friends & family. we continued to date for 2 months & I was curious why we weren't official,although we were exclusive.I asked and he said he's confused,that he likes me but doesn't know why he's not ready to take the next step. We "broke up", he cried & said that's not what he wants, we got back together. He was still confused, said that some days he's sure of us but some days he questions whether he's truly ready and he's not sure why he questions.
Fast forward 2 months, he broke up with me and said he lost feelings. He tried to initiate contact 2 days later and I brushed it off and we don't talk for two months. He recently started talking to me again, some weeks he'll continually try to talk & other weeks I won't hear from him. He drunk texts me to talk, but doesn't flirt b/c he says he's afraid I won't like/appreciate it. As of now, I haven't heard from him in over a week.
Was it a commitment issue? I keep thinking he was afraid to give up "being a boy/partying". And is there a chance for reconciliation?
Also, for people that have lost feelings, I know it's possible to think you lost feelings and then realize later that you never did, but what about those that truly lost feelings/lost interest, what are the chance that they gain those feelings back?
He's known you for a long time, you were in a relationship for a while, he's in and out if whether he wants to see you that way or not. He said he lost his feelings for you.
I don't understand why. You didn't know each other in relationship THAT well, and you were basically long-distance. One hour away is still long distance.
Besides, he sounds like a head case. To answer your questions, we have no way of knowing if it was a commitment issue. It sounds like he is very emotionally immature and does not know WHAT he wants. Sure, you CAN reconcile, but the question is ... should you??
We did know each other well. Yeah, maybe not as much as some couples, but we were extremely close. I just don't know what triggered lost feelings and I was wondering whether he could get them back. I also know I shouldn't be hurting and should move on, but asides from trying to move on, I'd just like to hear what other people think as well
He's known you for a long time, you were in a relationship for a while, he's in and out if whether he wants to see you that way or not. He said he lost his feelings for you.
When people show you who they are, believe them.
so are you saying that he's touching base every now and then to see if he wants to be with me but will pull away when he thinks he's not ready for it?
He sounds lovely. I can see why you want to be with him. He makes you feel so special and all.
is this sarcastic?
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