No one wants to date Child Free By Choice, either (male, separate)

[neutrino78x]

Originally Posted by wolf39us

There is nothing fundamentally special about child birth. The fact that it happens so often kinda removes any sort of "specialness" it has.

Uh, no, intelligent life is rare and special in the universe so when a new human being is born that's special and beautiful and should be celebrated. Plus we have an instinctive drive to protect babies.

Fact of the matter is that people who don't want kids will date other people who don't want kids. You are simply explaining why people who DO want kids don't want to date people who don't want kids. Your explanation is nonsensical and irrelevant.

It isn't irrelevant at all. We're talking about why people wouldn't want to be with someone who is "child free by choice".

[TabulaRasa]

The premise in the OP's thread title is flawed, anyway. The claim is that "nobody wants to date 'child-free by choice' people."

Other "child-free by choice" people are fine dating "Child-free by choice" people...providing they are otherwise attracted to them, obviously. Nobody's going to get into a relationship with somebody they have zero attraction to, just because they have compatible thoughts on having children.

Based on the actual content of the OP, the real problem that she's having is NOT that "nobody wants to date 'child-free by choice' people," but that she comes into contact with few childless/childfree people in the first place, and that all the childless/child free men she does come across are "creepy." The problem is that she's finding few people SHE considers compatible. And that's TOTALLY different from, "Nobody wants to date 'child-free by choice' people."

All this other tiresome philosophy forum back and forth is beside the point. The thread is really just same old, same old. "I can't find people I deem worthy of dating."

[neutrino78x]

Originally Posted by TabulaRasa

All this other tiresome philosophy forum back and forth is beside the point. The thread is really just same old, same old. "I can't find people I deem worthy of dating."

Yes, I agree. In my case I've found people I deem worth of dating but they don't find me worthy of dating. But yeah pretty much every thread in the relationships forum is some variation of that.

[Idon'tdateyou]

Originally Posted by vigueur2014

Don't you understand the reason people are CFBC, is because they don't want the responsibility of having a child. I've never wanted children, and had a vasectomy at age 21. They made me think it over for like 30+ days before the urologist performed that procedure, just to make sure I really wanted it.

If I am unwilling to have my own child and raise it, why the hell would I do that with someone else's child? I'm too selfish, to take on someone else's F up, they can deal with it, it's not my responsibility. Maybe if more parents really thought about it, like I have, there wouldn't be foster homes, or homeless children. Unfortunately for the kids, parents can be very selfish, and unwilling to admit it, before it's way too late.

This. People don't get that some people don't want their own kid so they want someone else's even less.

[AtkinsonDan]

Originally Posted by neutrino78x

All human lives are special especially children.

So I lose my specialness just because I get older? I would think that age would increase specialness as people gain unique wisdom, knowledge and life experiences over the years.

[AtkinsonDan]

Originally Posted by neutrino78x

Uh, no, intelligent life is rare and special in the universe so when a new human being is born that's special and beautiful and should be celebrated. Plus we have an instinctive drive to protect babies.

Why do you keep assuming human beings are the only intelligent species in the universe? We can't get human beings out beyond the moon or the international space station. We can't even begin to determine if there are other intelligent life forms out there. Human beings are terribly ignorant of the overall universe, there could be thousands of intelligent species throughout the universe but human beings do not possess the level of intelligence required to detect them. Stop giving the human race credit where credit is not justified.

[ohio_peasant]

Originally Posted by TabulaRasa

Based on the actual content of the OP, the real problem that she's having is NOT that "nobody wants to date 'child-free by choice' people," but that she comes into contact with few childless/childfree people in the first place, and that all the childless/child free men she does come across are "creepy." The problem is that she's finding few people SHE considers compatible. And that's TOTALLY different from, "Nobody wants to date 'child-free by choice' people."

All this other tiresome philosophy forum back and forth is beside the point. The thread is really just same old, same old. "I can't find people I deem worthy of dating."

Well-said!

But here's the rub. We keep hearing sensational reports that the birth-rate is crashing, that women are foreswearing motherhood as being something antiquated and enslaving, that modern sophisticates are more interested in starting businesses or changing the world, than in becoming parents. But is this really true? I think instead the frustration is when child-free people realize how unusual they (we) are. The vast, vast majority of able-bodied adults wants to have children - eventually. Maybe first they want to advance their careers. Maybe they're waiting for the "right" partner. But so very very few people regard reproduction as foolish or reprehensible. And it's this feeling of being in such as miniscule minority that's so frustrating. Then, one finally meets another child-free person... only to find that he/she is boring, hideous, obnoxious or otherwise unsuitable. And the frustration mounts!

[neutrino78x]

Originally Posted by AtkinsonDan

Why do you keep assuming human beings are the only intelligent species in the universe? We can't get human beings out beyond the moon or the international space station. We can't even begin to determine if there are other intelligent life forms out there.

Exactly. As far as we know, we are the first ones. So that makes human babies special and something to be celebrated and protected.

Edit: it is far more likely that we would detect aliens through a radio signal or some other kind of remote signal as opposed to running into them in our travels throughout the universe, assuming that there is in fact no way to travel faster than light.

[neutrino78x]

Originally Posted by ohio_peasant

Well-said!

But here's the rub. We keep hearing sensational reports that the birth-rate is crashing, that women are foreswearing motherhood as being something antiquated and enslaving, that modern sophisticates are more interested in starting businesses or changing the world, than in becoming parents. But is this really true?

In developed countries, yes, to a certain extent. Our birth rate is definitely falling in the USA and other 1st World countries (the other G7 countries, most countries in Europe, etc.). However, it is still very high in the 3rd World. We aren't even remotely overpopulated.

Regardless, if you're someone looking for a romantic partner, it might be difficult to find someone who specifically wishes never to have children. Most people who don't have kids don't have them because either they never encountered the right circumstances or because they had biological issues preventing them from having children, or they just feel like they would not be good parents, emotionally (for example if they came from an abusive home).

Rare is the person who has the financial ability to raise children, and no logistic or biological or emotional issues, and yet does not wish to have children.

I would think someone looking for that could be with someone whose kids are already adults, so they are "done having children". That would be my suggestion for someone like that.

[wolf39us]

Originally Posted by neutrino78x

In developed countries, yes, to a certain extent. Our birth rate is definitely falling in the USA and other 1st World countries (the other G7 countries, most countries in Europe, etc.). However, it is still very high in the 3rd World. We aren't even remotely overpopulated.

Regardless, if you're someone looking for a romantic partner, it might be difficult to find someone who specifically wishes never to have children. Most people who don't have kids don't have them because either they never encountered the right circumstances or because they had biological issues preventing them from having children, or they just feel like they would not be good parents, emotionally (for example if they came from an abusive home).

Rare is the person who has the financial ability to raise children, and no logistic or biological or emotional issues, and yet does not wish to have children.

I would think someone looking for that could be with someone whose kids are already adults, so they are "done having children". That would be my suggestion for someone like that.

Yeah, all that, or because they don't want them regardless of their feelings of how good their parenting will be.

You know... we exist. Hi! I'm Here!

There exists people who don't want children that have NO negative feelings towards their ability to BE a parent. I know that's a tough concept for you, but it's true whether you believe it or not!