How do less desireable people compete in the dating world? (marry, girls)
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I consider myself to be at the bottom of the totem pole in the dating world. I was just wondering how a guy like myself can compete against normal or above average men. Even women that use online dating seem to only want the above average guys.
Well for starters if you are a 0 stop trying to date 5+. Unless you have more going for you, you cant compete with guys on the top end of the totem pole.
You say women online dating want above average guys. Do you want below average women? Probably not.
And if you are not normal (I'm not sure what that means) you cant compete for normal above average women. Probably need to be looking at the abbynormal ones.
I consider myself to be at the bottom of the totem pole in the dating world. I was just wondering how a guy like myself can compete against normal or above average men. Even women that use online dating seem to only want the above average guys.
By not thinking that they're at the bottom of the totem pole, for starters. If you don't value yourself, how do you expect to be valued by others?
Quit being a self-pitying nebbish. And work on those things about you that might work against you.
That low self esteem is a bear to overcome. I've had first meets with guys who would not be considered particularly good looking because I saw something else in them/their profile. They exhibit extremely low self esteem every darn time.
Heck, even guys I think are very good looking do that.
Especially at my age. If a guy has had a divorce or is still single at mid-forty, he tends to think he is damaged goods. I, on the other hand, consider myself to be a vastly improved version of the woman I was 20 years ago.
I consider myself to be at the bottom of the totem pole in the dating world. I was just wondering how a guy like myself can compete against normal or above average men. Even women that use online dating seem to only want the above average guys.
Look at the threads "Your Ideal Man/Woman", "What are your turn offs?", and "Three Biggest Deal Breakers" If you line up with a couple of those, you're better than you think even if you are physically below average in your own opinion. Do your physical standards line up with what you believe you offer physically?
Why do you feel you are at the bottom of the totem pole?
This is an essential question that needs to be answered. How can anyone offer suggestions for improvement if we don't know exactly what it is that you feel makes you so disadvantaged?
Furthermore, do you go into a job interview thinking to yourself that you're the worst possible candidate for the job? Or do you go in confidently telling yourself you're the best man for the job? Assuming it's the latter, why would you handle your dating life any differently?
I consider myself to be at the bottom of the totem pole in the dating world. I was just wondering how a guy like myself can compete against normal or above average men. Even women that use online dating seem to only want the above average guys.
What about the guys who look above-average but have awful personalities? They don't get far. Get yourself a fun, or intriguing personality, and you, too, can win!
If you are 'less desirable' then competing in the dating world for women would be like competing in a triathlon while missing a leg and being blind. You will never win, and the act of attempting to compete would be the equivelant of being pathologically delusional. It would be like trying to compete in NASCAR while driving a Geo Metro.
My advice would be, if your situation is as hopeless as you describe and taking into consideration that life is short and time is a finite resource: find a hobby or passion in life that you can dedicate your time, effort and energy towards and love it like you would love a woman.
While taking peace in knowing that by following your goals, dreams and aspirations (non sexual) that they will never lie, cheat or betray you.
If you are 'less desirable' then competing in the dating world for women would be like competing in a triathlon while missing a leg and being blind. You will never win, and the act of attempting to compete would be the equivelant of being pathologically delusional. It would be like trying to compete in NASCAR while driving a Geo Metro.
My advice would be, if your situation is as hopeless as you describe and taking into consideration that life is short and time is a finite resource: find a hobby or passion in life that you can dedicate your time, effort and energy towards and love it like you would love a woman.
While taking peace in knowing that by following your goals, dreams and aspirations (non sexual) that they will never lie, cheat or betray you.
Wow. Skydive Outlaw, keepin' it real!
OK, OP, so--give up, then. And focus on other areas of life.
.....I guess.....
If your self-assessment is accurate. Is it?
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