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We've all done things like this in the past. Be honest with yourself - why do you want to invite him over? Because you genuinely want to spend time alone with him or because it will make you feel good on Valentine's Day to have someone around you who has a crush on you? And if you genuinely want to spend alone time with him - why is that? And why are you trying to convince yourself that it wouldn't be a big deal to invite him over if he has a crush on you and that you don't think it would affect him? As another poster said, how would YOU feel if a guy that you had a crush on invited you over to his place to watch movies ALONE with him on VALENTINE'S DAY? Are you really telling us that it wouldn't mess with your head if you found out that he didn't actually have feelings for you? Wouldn't you be a bit miffed that he invited you over on VALENTINE'S DAY knowing that you had a crush on him and knowing that he didn't return those feelings?
We've all done stupid things like this in the past. But actually writing it out should make it clear to you that you are only thinking of yourself and are probably trying to boost your ego - and that you aren't thinking about his feelings at all. I'm not saying that you are a bad person at all. We all do things like this without realizing it. But you wrote it out and asked our advice - so hopefully you WILL realize it before you make a mistake.
Inviting a guy, who you know has a crush on you. over to your apartment on Valentine's Day sends the wrong message. You have no idea the depth of his feelings for you really. Just don't do it.
He hasn't given off any signs of it being more than flirtation. I don't think it's an obsessive love. That being said, a crush is a crush and I don't diminish that.
I didn't really put too much weight on the Valentines thing. We're both adults -- we've joked about it. I don't think it's a huge deal to both of us, but either way, I'll avoid it.
We've all done things like this in the past. Be honest with yourself - why do you want to invite him over? Because you genuinely want to spend time alone with him or because it will make you feel good on Valentine's Day to have someone around you who has a crush on you? And if you genuinely want to spend alone time with him - why is that? And why are you trying to convince yourself that it wouldn't be a big deal to invite him over if he has a crush on you and that you don't think it would affect him? As another poster said, how would YOU feel if a guy that you had a crush on invited you over to his place to watch movies ALONE with him on VALENTINE'S DAY? Are you really telling us that it wouldn't mess with your head if you found out that he didn't actually have feelings for you? Wouldn't you be a bit miffed that he invited you over on VALENTINE'S DAY knowing that you had a crush on him and knowing that he didn't return those feelings?
We've all done stupid things like this in the past. But actually writing it out should make it clear to you that you are only thinking of yourself and are probably trying to boost your ego - and that you aren't thinking about his feelings at all. I'm not saying that you are a bad person at all. We all do things like this without realizing it. But you wrote it out and asked our advice - so hopefully you WILL realize it before you make a mistake.
Lol absolutely not. We're friends. I don't need my ego boosted at his expense. I'm not insecure about myself. Listen, I get that you have an opinion, but you're way off base here. I value our friendship for what it is. If I didn't care, then I would've initiated something already. I've had plenty of opportunity to mess with him. I didn't need to wait until Valentines' day. I don't need male attention.
He's my friend and I respect him. I want to continue being his friend. I don't need to stomp on him to make myself feel better. I don't mind spending Valentines' alone. I don't feel less of a person because of it. I'm definitely no ashamed of it. I joke about it. Self-depreciation is second nature to me.
If that's how you've felt -- okay, no judgement. But that's not me.
To be clear, I wasn't going to decorate my apartment with rose petals. I was going to sit on my couch with popcorn and watch the new Ninja Turtles movie.
I don't need to spend time alone with him. Our friends are simply not here.
You are not romantically interested in your male friend, yet you want to invite him over to your place alone on Valentine's Day knowing that he has a crush on you.
Lol absolutely not. We're friends. I don't need my ego boosted at his expense. I'm not insecure about myself. Listen, I get that you have an opinion, but you're way off base here. I value our friendship for what it is. If I didn't care, then I would've initiated something already. I've had plenty of opportunity to mess with him. I didn't need to wait until Valentines' day. I don't need male attention.
He's my friend and I respect him. I want to continue being his friend. I don't need to stomp on him to make myself feel better. I don't mind spending Valentines' alone. I don't feel less of a person because of it. I'm definitely no ashamed of it. I joke about it. Self-depreciation is second nature to me.
If that's how you've felt -- okay, no judgement. But that's not me.
My point isn't that you can't handle Valentine's Day. My point is that having someone like you makes you feel good. Most people feel that way. My point is that you are putting your feelings before his feelings - and ignoring how this might make him feel. Most of us have done this at one point in time. It's easy. When I look back at my past, I think I treated a lot of the guys that had feelings for me unfairly. I did genuinely value their friendship - but it would have been more fair to them if I had kept more distance between us since I didn't return their feelings. Inviting someone over who has a crush on you on Valentine's Day would be unfair to him. That's what we are saying. You still don't really seem to see this - but I guess since you have decided not to do anything about it, that's some sort of progress.
You are not romantically interested in your male friend, yet you want to invite him over to your place alone on Valentine's Day knowing that he has a crush on you.
Yeah...
Ok...
And this should not cause any problems.
Oh my. I thought about it. I wasn't sure. I don't know what you want from me lol.
My point isn't that you can't handle Valentine's Day. My point is that having someone like you makes you feel good. Most people feel that way. My point is that you are putting your feelings before his feelings - and ignoring how this might make him feel. Most of us have done this at one point in time. It's easy. When I look back at my past, I think I treated a lot of the guys that had feelings for me unfairly. I did genuinely value their friendship - but it would have been more fair to them if I had kept more distance between us since I didn't return their feelings. Inviting someone over who has a crush on you on Valentine's Day would be unfair to him. That's what we are saying. You still don't really seem to see this - but I guess since you have decided not to do anything about it, that's some sort of progress.
Mod cut.
I heard what you were saying -- [Snip.] -- and I agreed that maybe it was a bad idea. So I decided to simply *text him tomorrow*
So he appears to have some feelings for you. If you invite him over on Valentine's Day, what exactly do you expect him to think? Any guy would take this as a 100% she wants to be in a relationship with me type deal. The friendship will be made irreparably awkward if he were to come over and you reject him.
So he appears to have some feelings for you. If you invite him over on Valentine's Day, what exactly do you expect him to think? Any guy would take this as a 100% she wants to be in a relationship with me type deal. The friendship will be made irreparably awkward if he were to come over and you reject him.
See, I never put so much thought into valentines days -- but not everyone is me. I would've thought about inviting him over even if it wasn't Valentines. That wasn't the motivation. Today is just bad timing.
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