Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
If the poor guy bought your coffee it would have sent the wrong signal to you.
Meeting in person is so important because you can be mislead by texts and emails.
'Deer in head lights.' Lol! I bet he wanted to run but thought the best way of doing things would be a brief coffee convo... Then run. Did he squeal the tires?
I have the same question. OP - you may not realize it but perhaps you look quite a bit different than your online photos. He did the polite thing, stuck around for an hour and then bailed.
Kind of a douchy move to drop the networking line on ya....... I guess staying for an hour or so was ok... I've read quite a few people here brag about how they instantly dumped first meet/greets because they didn't live up to what their pic showed or some other similar reason. At least he didn't do that classy move. He probably wasn't feeling the physically attraction.... as rough as that may be to hear... but everyone can be everyone's cup of tea. So I'd try to not take that very personally.
You sound like a nice lady so hopefully the next one will pan out for you.
Thanks to all for the honest feedback. My friend took recent pictures of me and I posted them along with the date they were taken. She told me they looked like me, but maybe she was just being polite. I'll have to ask a few more friends what they think of the photos and make some changes if necessary. But thanks again for taking time to help out a stranger. Happy President's Day!
I recently went on a coffee date with a guy I met on a dating website. Just for some background information, he made a big deal about being a 'gentleman' and 'old-fashioned.' He initiated everything and set up the date via text. He texted several times before the date and seemed friendly/flirty.
When he arrived, we both kind of stared at each other like deer in the headlights. It was awkward at first. He then asked if I wanted to get coffee. I said sure and followed him to the counter. He was in front of me and simply paid for his coffee and waited at the side. I was a bit surprised that he didn't offer to pay for my coffee (not that I expect that - it's just he kept reiterating how old-fashioned he is). So, of course, all my old insecurities began to rear their ugly heads. Am I not attractive enough? Or do I have an annoying voice?
When we sat down, he told me that basically that this was a networking meeting. It just seemed odd to use a dating website to network. I guess I just felt a bit ridiculous and wished he would have made that clear when he first asked...before I got my hopes up. It kind of made me feel like he wasn't attracted to me and wanted to let me down easy.
Our conversation flowed well because we have a lot in common and we ended up staying there for 1 hour, 45 minutes. He then said he had a lunch meeting (probably an excuse to leave). I told him I was really happy for him and wished him good luck at the end. Haven't heard from him since and probably never will. Oh well, life goes on, right?
I thought you was talking about me for about 30 seconds because I had a coffee date today too. LOL But when you said he didn't pay I was like........"oh not me" Lol
I've learned my lesson, always chat on the phone before setting up the first date. Have had a couple people that I had great interactions with via text and email, but talking to them on the phone was an ordeal.
Have also had a couple of women insist on always splitting the bill on the first meeting. One woman told me that some guys will actually use the fact that they bought a few cups of coffee or cocktails as a reason for taking a woman home.
I don't mind footing the bill on the first date because it's normally just coffee or lunch and since she usually is doing more of the traveling I pay the bill.
Thanks for the input, everyone! Guess I will have to chalk this up to experience and not let it get me down. Good luck to all of you in the dating world.
He's an old fashioned guy who is just networking? What an odd duck.
What was his occupation?
__________________ ____________________________________________
My posts as a Mod will always be in red.
Be sure to review Terms of Service: TOS
And check this out: FAQ
Moderator: Relationships Forum / Hawaii Forum / Dogs / Pets / Current Events
I think since he brought up networking, he is having financial difficulty and couldn't afford the additional cup of coffee.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Happy President's Day!
