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Old 02-18-2015, 03:07 PM
 
Location: Illinois
17 posts, read 39,711 times
Reputation: 36

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Quote:
Originally Posted by RedZin View Post
I'm surprised you weren't checking to see if he was in an accident or lying dead in a ditch someplace. If I talked to someone daily for months and they vanished one day and didn't call me, by the end of that day or the beginning of the next, I'd be worried about their well being, not that they were trying to "ghost" me.

Which makes me wonder if you weren't already picking up on some vibes that he might have been sending that things were moving too quickly and you just aren't acknowledging that.

Because, if you really did feel like things were going great and your guy never showed up for a planned date, why did you not first think of calling a hospital to see if he'd been admitted or something? Because this is how I think when I feel secure about a relationship and someone is late and/or cannot be contacted. I think that they might've been in an accident, not that they're trying to dump me without telling me.

Odd. Very odd.

My text to him on Monday evening was asking if he was okay, as I was getting worried that he hadn't shown up or returned my call. I asked him to let me know he was okay, and my exact text stated "I'm worried you're laying in a ditch somewhere". And as I stated in my OP, I was originally worried about his safety. After I saw that he had read the text and not replied, and I didn't hear anything from him at all yesterday, was when I started thinking something is fishy. I felt very secure in the relationship. I consider myself very perceptive and had no inkling that anything may have been wrong.
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Old 02-18-2015, 03:13 PM
 
Location: Huntsville, AL
2,852 posts, read 1,598,633 times
Reputation: 5445
Sounds like it's time to find another... NEXT!
I'm sorry that's happened to you, but, better it be 2 months than 2 years with 2 kids!
I wish you the best....
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Old 02-18-2015, 03:22 PM
 
Location: Huntsville, AL
2,852 posts, read 1,598,633 times
Reputation: 5445
Quote:
Originally Posted by flightriskrn View Post
Thanks for all the replies! For those saying we are moving too fast and I might be scaring him, I would maybe agree this was a possibility IF he hadn't been the one who first asked me to come with him to meet his parents (this was about a month in). He also invited me on the vacation and booked the tickets at the end of January. I have been following his lead, and do not feel that we are moving "too fast" for established adults who are looking to settle down with the right person. We both have relationship experience and know what we want from a long term partner. We don't spend every waking moment together- we have been seeing eachother 1-2 times per week, one usually an overnight visit, and talking daily until now. So no, I do not think it's too fast, but if he does I feel that it would be by his own doing and that he could have easily relayed that to me and we could have "slowed down", I have had no problem saying that myself to my partners in previous relationships.

I will not be contacting him until a week has gone by, give him some space and go from there. Nothing else I can really do!
Does he know where you live or do you know where he lives?
The reason I ask is, if - as someone suggested - he lost his phone, and only has your number in that phone - he'd still have a way to reach you, by coming over...

If you know where he lives, have you gone to his house to check in on him? You may put him on the spot, but if he's blowing you off, what does it matter what he thinks about you showing up at his place?
Not sure where you live, but with all the winter weather in the northeast, something may have happened, and someone may have found his phone - and isn't replying to you....

Good luck - I hope he's ok - but if he's blowing you off, IT'S HIS LOSS....
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Old 02-18-2015, 03:51 PM
 
1,216 posts, read 1,457,757 times
Reputation: 2680
Good point about a lost phone- but then why didn't he come over? I'd be worried he's had an accident. And if he hasnt-:maybe he should? (Kidding people)
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Old 02-18-2015, 03:53 PM
 
Location: Illinois
17 posts, read 39,711 times
Reputation: 36
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tumf View Post
Does he know where you live or do you know where he lives?
The reason I ask is, if - as someone suggested - he lost his phone, and only has your number in that phone - he'd still have a way to reach you, by coming over...

If you know where he lives, have you gone to his house to check in on him? You may put him on the spot, but if he's blowing you off, what does it matter what he thinks about you showing up at his place?
Not sure where you live, but with all the winter weather in the northeast, something may have happened, and someone may have found his phone - and isn't replying to you....

Good luck - I hope he's ok - but if he's blowing you off, IT'S HIS LOSS....


Yes we have each stayed overnight at each others apartments multiple times so he knows where I live and vice versa. I considered the lost phone scenario too, however there is still Facebook, email, etc. I have not gone to his apartment, at this point I think that would be overkill but it's something I'll consider if I still haven't heard anything in a week or so. Hopefully it doesn't come to that!
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Old 02-18-2015, 04:43 PM
 
Location: My House
34,937 posts, read 36,109,046 times
Reputation: 26547
Quote:
Originally Posted by flightriskrn View Post
My text to him on Monday evening was asking if he was okay, as I was getting worried that he hadn't shown up or returned my call. I asked him to let me know he was okay, and my exact text stated "I'm worried you're laying in a ditch somewhere". And as I stated in my OP, I was originally worried about his safety. After I saw that he had read the text and not replied, and I didn't hear anything from him at all yesterday, was when I started thinking something is fishy. I felt very secure in the relationship. I consider myself very perceptive and had no inkling that anything may have been wrong.
But... you don't know that HE read the text when you see that it was read. You know that SOMEONE read the text. Maybe it was his cousin who was with him when he fell off a bridge. That little "read" thing is no sign that the person you intended the message for actually read it. Or, maybe they read it and then later got injured, passed out, whatever.

I just find it odd that you jumped immediately to "this guy I have a vacation planned with is trying to dump me without words."
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Old 02-18-2015, 04:45 PM
 
Location: My House
34,937 posts, read 36,109,046 times
Reputation: 26547
Quote:
Originally Posted by flightriskrn View Post
Yes we have each stayed overnight at each others apartments multiple times so he knows where I live and vice versa. I considered the lost phone scenario too, however there is still Facebook, email, etc. I have not gone to his apartment, at this point I think that would be overkill but it's something I'll consider if I still haven't heard anything in a week or so. Hopefully it doesn't come to that!
You'd wait for a week to hear from a dude that had plans with you yesterday and never showed up?

I'd go to his house, tell him I was worried that he was sick or hurt, and if he was totally fine, he could just break up with me right there if that was his intent.

Cover all your bases and be done with it.
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Old 02-18-2015, 06:47 PM
 
919 posts, read 844,299 times
Reputation: 1071
Quote:
Originally Posted by redzin View Post
you'd wait for a week to hear from a dude that had plans with you yesterday and never showed up?

I'd go to his house, tell him i was worried that he was sick or hurt, and if he was totally fine, he could just break up with me right there if that was his intent.

Cover all your bases and be done with it.
+1.
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Old 02-18-2015, 07:00 PM
 
166 posts, read 243,415 times
Reputation: 396
OP, I would not suggest going to his house. Then you'll be bac, on here with a whole other thred.
I guarantee you there is nothing wrong with him. Move on. Live you life. Maybe he'll resurface a week or two from now with an incredible story or saying that he needed space and felt stifled in the relationship.

Whatever. I really don't have patience with men who lack communication skills.
Next him!
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Old 02-18-2015, 07:04 PM
 
Location: My House
34,937 posts, read 36,109,046 times
Reputation: 26547
Quote:
Originally Posted by prettygreeneyes View Post
OP, I would not suggest going to his house. Then you'll be bac, on here with a whole other thred.
I guarantee you there is nothing wrong with him. Move on. Live you life. Maybe he'll resurface a week or two from now with an incredible story or saying that he needed space and felt stifled in the relationship.

Whatever. I really don't have patience with men who lack communication skills.
Next him!
If I was dating someone for a couple of months that I saw a couple times a week and talked to daily, I'd hope they'd check in on me if I vanished.
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