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One day you'll wake up, old, past your prime and realise you wasted your best days in a marriage that stinks to high heaven from the rot. Your marriage is dead, you just don't realise quite yet.
One day you'll wake up, old, past your prime and realise you wasted your best days in a marriage that stinks to high heaven from the rot. Your marriage is dead, you just don't realise quite yet.
Im beginning to realize it. My feelings for my husband are becoming dead. I dont feel like kissing him since he punched the hole in the wall and i cant get thw feelings back. I know its hurting him im no longer in love but all i can muster is pity, not real emotion
Im beginning to realize it. My feelings for my husband are becoming dead. I dont feel like kissing him since he punched the hole in the wall and i cant get thw feelings back. I know its hurting him im no longer in love but all i can muster is pity, not real emotion
The opposite of love isn't hate, it is indifference. Judging by your postings, you have reached the point of indifference. There is not much left to save. I think you are acting out as a cry for help, but you can only help yourself. Visit the therapist to get a look at the entire picture. Good luck.
Why did you marry him in the first place? It sounds like you have already checked out of the marriage since you are already kissing other men. Have you cheated on him before? Is there a reason for his jealousy?
To the OP: ^^^this^^^
If you cannot get back to the place you were emotionally when you were both best friends and decided to marry, then, and only then is the marriage lost.
In-between all the drama I read yet more drama in the original post's story. The problem isn't just the husband it's also the wife.
In order to facilitate getting back to how things were the OP needs to:
1) Tell her husband about his not so great friend trying to put the moves on her. She doesn't need to reveal that she reciprocated or was receptive, just needs to come clean about the friend. Even if said friend claims she was receptive, the OP should just avoid fueling the fire and deny it... the truth about the friend is all that really needs to be aired as someone like that hanging around is going to prevent the healing of this marriage.
2) Decide truly if she wants to stay married, and figure out why. If the answer is YES, then she needs to begin working to treat him well. I state this because you cannot force another person to change, but you can change yourself and thus change those around you. It will probably take some time, but the OP's husband will likely become a lot happier if his wife actually works to make the relationship better on her end. A happier husband in this situation will likely lead to a happier wife.
3) The OP should do the counseling/therapy thing, but really hold off on throwing the husband under the bus in describing situations. Counseling goes no where when either of the two parties is busy trying to sell the counselor/therapist their side of the story rather than just work with the exercises given to make things better.
I completely understand the reluctance to divorce, but sometimes its best to just get it over and done with. When a marriage is this broken and one or neither party wish to seek counseling to work through the issues then it's inevitable that sooner or later the marriage is going to crash and burn. Why prolong it? These are conversations you need to be having with your husband OP.
I completely understand the reluctance to divorce, but sometimes its best to just get it over and done with. When a marriage is this broken and one or neither party wish to seek counseling to work through the issues then it's inevitable that sooner or later the marriage is going to crash and burn. Why prolong it? These are conversations you need to be having with your husband OP.
We separated as of Saturday when I moved to my cousin's house. I am planning to stay there a few weeks to reflect on my relationship and what I want. I cried a few times this weekend, but for the most part I felt relief. I can be a 23 year old again and not feel like a 43 year old like I did with my husband. I was able to go out to get my hair/nails done whenever I want, stay out dancing with my cousin, and get home whenever I want. There have been so many things in the past that I keep having flashbacks to. My cousin reminded me that she told me not to date my husband because something seemed off about him and that was almost 4 years ago. Then he wouldn't get married at the church my grandparents founded because it was an hour from his dads house, yet my parents drove from two states away. SO many warning signs I never listened to...
Nope never cheated on him before and i've had many chances. Last year when we moved from AL to Louisiana I was home alone for 6 months and completely faithful while I was still looking for a job. My reasons for cheating are not physical...it's to fill a void in my heart I guess..and like I said, it was only this one time.
once is enough
once a cheater always a cheater...wait till he gets his visa and divorce...
once is enough
once a cheater always a cheater...wait till he gets his visa and divorce...
From what I have read the entire marriage was a sham, he only married her to get the Visa and he was going to leave anyway.
She is actually the victim here no matter what anyone else thinks.
One from any country should never marry someone else from another country until they are completely legal and have their Visa and citizenship.
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