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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,935,179 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by neutrino78x
Sometimes I am tempted to just give up and go the casual route...although I'm not attractive enough for it and I would probably have to just sleep with prostitutes only. But I will never do that because it defeats the purpose of waiting for something meaningful. If I'm just going to have casual sex, that doesn't give me anything I can't get from myself. Plus it introduces the risk of STDs; my risk right now is near zero.
Like I said I don't know if I will ever be in a relationship...probably not, at this point. Depressing but true.
Good heavens. Where do you think most "serious" relationships come from? They come from casual relationships that changed and grew over time.
Heck, I'd say half of the marriages I went to (of profession, 30+ you, highly educated individuals) started as ONS or flings, then grew from that.
Things start casually. They should start casually. It makes no sense to go out and get serious right away. Not healthy.
I'm not successful with women. Never said I was. What a crock. I get by, usually. That's not success.
Do you work? Have you worked? I do. I look around. I see that most of the guys here that are 300# (there are always some) are happily married. The guys with thick glasses and 5'3"? Happily married.
And I really have no idea how people have "long strings of rejections" constantly, unless they approach dating in some bizarre way. Some people have an occasional bad streak, but for every woman that has success, there is a guy having success. It's the way it works (for heteros).
I'm average to below average. Bald. Glasses. Broke. Rarely had a car (most of my adult life) and not a great body. Yet, I date. It's not hard. And I'm dorky, and often awkward, its still not hard. Challenging at times, sure, but not hard.
I've already addressed most of your other stuff, as it's the boilerplate you usually offer.
But I'd like to take a crack at the bolded. Your assertion holds up if we assume that everyone is only dating one person at a time, which we know to not be the case. It doesn't hold water because a lot of women want and are, in fact, dating the same men.
What we have going on today are soft harems, where average women are willing to accept FWB, less-than-committed arrangements from men who they perceive as "above them" on the dating/social totem pole.
What you end up with is a lot of higher-end guys dating/sleeping with 5-10 women at a time, and the average guys are getting frozen out.
Location: "Silicon Valley" (part of San Francisco Bay Area, California, USA)
4,375 posts, read 4,067,341 times
Reputation: 2158
Yeah I don't think most men are finding long stretches of lack of success with women. The human race is still reproducing so obviously people are finding each other and having sex.
Those of us who have a lot of difficulty with this shouldn't try to act like ours is the normal case or be bitter or angry toward women.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,935,179 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheSmuggler
I've already addressed most of your other stuff, as it's the boilerplate you usually offer.
But I'd like to take a crack at the bolded. Your assertion holds up if we assume that everyone is only dating one person at a time, which we know to not be the case. It doesn't hold water because a lot of women want and are, in fact, dating the same men.
What we have going on today are soft harems, where average women are willing to accept FWB, less-than-committed arrangements from men who they perceive as "above them" on the dating/social totem pole.
What you end up with is a lot of higher-end guys dating/sleeping with 5-10 women at a time, and the average guys are getting frozen out.
And I, as a very average broke guy, often (especially in my 30s) dated multiple women at the same time. It all shakes out.
And I have had and will probably have again FWBs, multiple ones. So what? I'm not higher end. Those women aren't just pining for one guy and waiting. They're having their fun, just as most guys are.
Soft harems? That's the idiocy promoted on here by some morons that believe in the made up rule named after some joker (Paterbo "Law" or something) that 20% of the people are having 80% of the sex. It's up there with the dopes that (can't read well) and regurgitate the nonsense that 80% have reproduced while 40% of men have in history (good god its crazy how that one gets repeated... read people, read! Not stupid blogs, but actual peer reviewed journal articles!!!!).
I swear, the internet with this stupid mens rights crap and PUA crap are mentally disabling dudes in our society that read them.
I've already addressed most of your other stuff, as it's the boilerplate you usually offer.
But I'd like to take a crack at the bolded. Your assertion holds up if we assume that everyone is only dating one person at a time, which we know to not be the case. It doesn't hold water because a lot of women want and are, in fact, dating the same men.
What we have going on today are soft harems, where average women are willing to accept FWB, less-than-committed arrangements from men who they perceive as "above them" on the dating/social totem pole.
What you end up with is a lot of higher-end guys dating/sleeping with 5-10 women at a time, and the average guys are getting frozen out.
What percentage of men are getting froze out?
Even with the marriage rate in decline, the most recent stats I can find show that 52% of American adults over the age of 18 are married. Over half the adult population. 70% of adults between the ages of 25 and 44 have been married once, and 80% of the population overall.
The men in these marriages are not getting frozen out... and these stats are just covering marriages and ignoring those who are in long term cohabitation without marriage (which has been on a sharp increase).
Maybe in younger age ranges there is more FWB situations and less cohabitation, marriage, etc (Somewhat supported by the older ages at which people are getting married), but I find it hard to believe men are being frozen out in any kind of majorities too.
Yes, some men struggle, but chances are it is not the average guy.
And I, as a very average broke guy, often (especially in my 30s) dated multiple women at the same time. It all shakes out.
And I have had and will probably have again FWBs, multiple ones. So what? I'm not higher end. Those women aren't just pining for one guy and waiting. They're having their fun, just as most guys are.
Soft harems? That's the idiocy promoted on here by some morons that believe in the made up rule named after some joker (Paterbo "Law" or something) that 20% of the people are having 80% of the sex. It's up there with the dopes that (can't read well) and regurgitate the nonsense that 80% have reproduced while 40% of men have in history (good god its crazy how that one gets repeated... read people, read! Not stupid blogs, but actual peer reviewed journal articles!!!!).
I swear, the internet with this stupid mens rights crap and PUA crap are mentally disabling dudes in our society that read them.
As I told another poster upthread, feel free to not respond.
I'm sure you've got plenty to do putting together your next harem. I did think it was funny, though, how you describe yourself monopolizing several women at a time and then immediately call the idea of soft harems idiocy. That was good for a laugh.
Sorry, I'm just never going to buy your shtick, and this post is another example.
Younger attractive women have it easy and enjoy a privileged status in society....always have.
Nature is cruel to everyone but particularly so to women. As they age they basically lose all of their feminine "aura" and charm and turn into more annoying versions of old men. (Men aren't timeless either of course but they enjoy a much longer arcing horizon of sexual relevance.)
ROFLMAO.
I'm almost 50 and get a lot male attention, how are YOU doing?
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Even with the marriage rate in decline, the most recent stats I can find show that 52% of American adults over the age of 18 are married. Over half the adult population. 70% of adults between the ages of 25 and 44 have been married once, and 80% of the population overall.
The men in these marriages are not getting frozen out... and these stats are just covering marriages and ignoring those who are in long term cohabitation without marriage (which has been on a sharp increase).
Maybe in younger age ranges there is more FWB situations and less cohabitation, marriage, etc (Somewhat supported by the older ages at which people are getting married), but I find it hard to believe men are being frozen out in any kind of majorities too.
Yes, some men struggle, but chances are it is not the average guy.
I would say about 50% of the single male population is frozen out, and another 25% have extreme difficulty, leaving that remaining 25% to pillage.
I think that whoever said this in a previous thread had it right: it is easier for extroverted, outgoing people, regardless of gender or degree of beauty. Extroversion is the key. Extroverted and attractive is probably the group that has it easiest, but even extroverted and ugly would attract more people than introverted and ugly.
Unfortunately in my case I am introverted, ugly, and tend to have a negative (sad) attitude these days, since I've had so many bad experiences in life and love. I guess that's where the "nice, but..." aspect lies.
Of course I have a lot of financial and logistic issues and can't really be with someone right now anyway, but even if those issues were resolved we are still left with a personality of "nice, but...".
So clearly an extroverted, outgoing, positive person would have a lot of advantages over me.
You're not ugly; you're average. With the right personality and attitude, average can be very cute. Just sayin'.
You're not ugly; you're average. With the right personality and attitude, average can be very cute. Just sayin'.
Wow, what a ringing endorsement.
Take heart, Neutrino! Make massive changes and you may be deemed "cute" and therefore acceptable.
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