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How would you know she's been cold, distant and hateful since the break up if you're not still trying to contact her? Move on already. Nothing cements a break up like being clingy afterwards.
Because of what she's been writing on social media. Her feelings have been very conflicting as of late based on her statuses (don't worry, we unfollowed each other on everything now so I won't see what she writes anymore). Nobody is being clingy, I only spoke to her twice since the break up and I'm not speaking to her anymore. We were together for 4 years, it just hurts, ok?
Lie. You told her that because you want to get back together. It wasn't an accident, you said it on purpose.
That's because she wants to break up. She does remember the good times, but the bad outweighed the good and she's trying to stay strong in her decision.
Right. She wants to make (and has already made) a logical decision and wants to stick to it, not get it muddled by overwhelming emotions.
I have no idea why you broke up, but she wants to stay broken up. Stop manipulating her emotions and let her go.
Can people stop saying, "just move on"? That doesn't help, it seems nobody here has ever dealt with a breakup, I understand you're trying to be honest, but it's easier said than done. I know exactly why we broke up, and i'm taking care of it as we speak.
I understand that, and I apologize for writing it that way. I just wish I had some sort of idea of what was going on, if you were reacting in this manner what options are you weighing in your head?
I would be crying out of frustration that you would still be contacting me after I broke up with you.
Get off her social media and move on with your life. You are NOT doing no contact if you're trolling her FB.
I would be crying out of frustration that you would still be contacting me after I broke up with you.
Get off her social media and move on with your life. You are NOT doing no contact if you're trolling her FB.
I unfollowed her in everything yesterday, no contact started today. Yesterday I sent her a quick message acknowledging the break up and that was it. No more contact.
I was speaking to my uncle today and he gave me some advice.
He said, "Hey, let her be, and give her her space. Go do what you have to do, get your issues resolved, and make a commitment to yourself to change into a better man. Whether you do it for for her or not, it doesn't matter, because at the end of the day you have to make those changes anyway. Go do things you love to do, go to the gym, hang out with friends, go on some dates, learn to be on your own. Once you feel like you've made significant improvements and feel better about yourself, start contacting her and see how it goes".
I unfollowed her in everything yesterday, no contact started today. Yesterday I sent her a quick message acknowledging the break up and that was it. No more contact.
I was speaking to my uncle today and he gave me some advice.
He said, "Hey, let her be, and give her her space. Go do what you have to do, get your issues resolved, and make a commitment to yourself to change into a better man. Whether you do it for for her or not, it doesn't matter, because at the end of the day you have to make those changes anyway. Go do things you love to do, go to the gym, hang out with friends, go on some dates, learn to be on your own. Once you feel like you've made significant improvements and feel better about yourself, start contacting her and see how it goes".
What do you think?
Here is how I would change your uncle's comments:
"He said, "Hey, let her be, and give her her space. Go do what you have to do, get your issues resolved, and make a commitment to yourself to change into a better man. Whether you do it for for her or not, it doesn't matter, because at the end of the day you have to make those changes anyway. Go do things you love to do, go to the gym, hang out with friends, go on some dates, learn to be on your own. "
Pay attention to everything but the last sentence. I'm fairly certain he added that to placate you.
Frankly, it's cruel for you to keep picking at this scab by calling her to try to "win her back."
"He said, "Hey, let her be, and give her her space. Go do what you have to do, get your issues resolved, and make a commitment to yourself to change into a better man. Whether you do it for for her or not, it doesn't matter, because at the end of the day you have to make those changes anyway. Go do things you love to do, go to the gym, hang out with friends, go on some dates, learn to be on your own. "
Pay attention to everything but the last sentence. I'm fairly certain he added that to placate you.
Frankly, it's cruel for you to keep picking at this scab by calling her to try to "win her back."
RESPECT HER CHOICE and move on with your life.
Even my ex said she wants to be with me in the future and eventually start talking again. But not now. I'm not waiting for her, I do need to get my life together.
Look, I told you this in your last thread, and it's still true.
You screwed up. You blew it. I'm sure she wants to be with the version of you who is not a verbal abuser, but you are not there yet.
The fact that you tried to "win her back" and still don't get why what you've done is bad proves that you need a LOT of work that will take a while.
Forget her. Work on making YOU better.
And I completely understand that, I agree with you.
But why is it such a bad thing to reconnect with her later after handling my business and developing a healthier mentality?
I think you get the impression that i'm trying to rush this, that's not the case at all. Honestly, I wish I could wish away my implosive issues, but I can't, those things take time.
I love her very much, i'm going to leave her alone.
I know it was wrong to try and win her back, but I was just trying to swallow my pride.
It's just so hard not to get attached to people who make you feel whole, you know?
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