Husband and I don't speak the same love language. It is normal for him to do this? (boyfriend, girlfriend)
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"TabulaRasa',
Well you can forget the 'live in the same neighborhood'. Because it not the maint point of this thead. This thread is about I'm trying to find a way to show 'affection' back to my husband, so he can feel love by his wife.
It NOT about money. I married him without an Engagement ring, without a wedding reception, wtihout a honeymoon. In defense of my husband, it was all my insist, if he doesn't go along with it, I won't married him.
My husband make more income than me, he make MORE money than me. But I still insist on keep our Financial "Separate' after marriage. I DO NOT touch a penny of his money. I got my OWN money from my own job.
I want to give him all the Financial freedom to walk out of this marriage if he is not happy. Financially we both have the freedom and ability to walk out. He still stay married to me, I guess he still love this Chinese wife of his.
Anyways, I don't want to talk about the neighborhood anymore. Let's stay on topic of my thread.
The best advice I can give you is to stop the threads and start talking to your husband about all your concerns. You've only been married for a few weeks. Your marriage is between the two of you - not you and us.
And I really don't understand your determination to keep everything so separate to make it easy for him to leave you. The whole point of getting married is to become a team.
The best advice I can give you is to stop the threads and start talking to your husband about all your concerns. You've only been married for a few weeks. Your marriage is between the two of you - not you and us.
And I really don't understand your determination to keep everything so separate to make it easy for him to leave you. The whole point of getting married is to become a team.
Agreed with this.
No one else's experience is going to help you in this situation. Everyone's experience is different. You just have to get out there and experience yourself. You'll be fine.
THANK YOU "IfICould" for bring this thread back on topic.
I'm fine with my marriage, I went through alot to be with this guy, it wasn't an easy ride relationship. My husband think he is one lucky man; having a wife who never demanding him for anything. BUT I think I'm the one that lucky to have him in my life.
And this is what I'm trying to do is try to show 'affection' back to him. I just don't know how to do it. I'm just not a 'Touchy' person overall. Regarding how I was raised, growing up in a COLD family with no affection, I explained it all in page 1 already.
I talk to my husband about this before. I told him that he married a Chinese wife who doesn't know how to be all over him, touching him and stuff. Hubby said that is fine, he give me the response/type of attitude that he doesn't want the girl to be all over him, but he wants to be the one that be all over the girl.
He said he doesn't mind doing all the intiating, doesn't mind being the one doing the touching/kissing; he said he enjoy doing it. Some men like to chase, some men like to be dominant, some men like their wives passive. I guess my hubby is one of them, the dominant type.
Listen, how do I handle Financial is between me and my husband. What work for us might not work for you, or vice versa. As long as MY husband is okay with my style, then who cares what others think. Financial is NOT even a discussion topic of what this thread is about.
My husband is at work right now, when he back tonight I will talk to him AGAIN. I guess his answer going to be the same as last time.
I talk to my husband about this before. I told him that he married a Chinese wife who doesn't know how to be all over him, touching him and stuff. Hubby said that is fine, he give me the response/type of attitude that he doesn't want the girl to be all over him, but he wants to be the one that be all over the girl.
He said he doesn't mind doing all the intiating, doesn't mind being the one doing the touching/kissing; he said he enjoy doing it. Some men like to chase, some men like to be dominant, some men like their wives passive. I guess my hubby is one of them, the dominant type.
Listen, how do I handle Financial is between me and my husband. What work for us might not work for you, or vice versa. As long as MY husband is okay with my style, then who cares what others think. Financial is NOT even a discussion topic of what this thread is about.
My husband is at work right now, when he back tonight I will talk to him AGAIN. I guess his answer going to be the same as last time.
Then what is the point of this thread, any of your other threads, or any of your comments? You are the one bringing all of this stuff up - not us. And then you get mad at us for commenting on it.
I'm sorry "Dewdroplet76', please accept my apology.
I'm sorry, I apologize. I'm not mad, I'm just Frustrated that I don't know how to show 'affection' to my husband. I get like this when I'm Frustrated.
The point of this thread is I'm looking for tips on how to show 'affection' to a guy who happened to be the "Physical Touch" as his love language.
Husband speak one love language, wife speak another love language type of couple.
To "IfICould",
So from your reply in page 3, what am I suppose to do? Since you read the '5 languages of Love' book, so you understand my struggling in this whole love language thing.
It clearly his love language is "Physical Touch', and my love language is "Acts of service". He probably not gonna feel love by me if I don't um "Touch" him right?
I'm sorry "Dewdroplet76', please accept my apology.
I'm sorry, I apologize. I'm not mad, I'm just Frustrated that I don't know how to show 'affection' to my husband. I get like this when I'm Frustrated.
The point of this thread is I'm looking for tips on how to show 'affection' to a guy who happened to be the "Physical Touch" as his love language.
Husband speak one love language, wife speak another love language type of couple.
And that is understandable.
You just need to relax is all. You're putting yourself through a lot of unnecessary stress. He says it's fine and loves you the way you are.
It seems you have trouble accepting that for what it is.
I'm sorry "Dewdroplet76', please accept my apology.
I'm sorry, I apologize. I'm not mad, I'm just Frustrated that I don't know how to show 'affection' to my husband. I get like this when I'm Frustrated.
The point of this thread is I'm looking for tips on how to show 'affection' to a guy who happened to be the "Physical Touch" as his love language.
Husband speak one love language, wife speak another love language type of couple.
To "IfICould",
So from your reply in page 3, what am I suppose to do? Since you read the '5 languages of Love' book, so you understand my struggling in this whole love language thing.
It clearly his love language is "Physical Touch', and my love language is "Acts of service". He probably not gonna feel love by me if I don't um "Touch" him right?
Why is this an issue now? You've been with him long enough to know his style.
To "Auraliea",
I am just Frustrated. Here is another reason to added to my frustration. Is my Chinese mother disapproval of him, her words was just disrespectful to him, and I feel terrible about it.
She refused to meet him, she doesn't even want to hear his name, let alone know about him or his life or his job.
It because he is an awesome husband, a caring and loving husband to me. And my mother still disapprove him, refused to show up to the Courthouse to give me her blessing. All these is eating me up inside, the more he is nice to me, the more bad I feel.
Sometimes I wish if he was a bad husband, then I will feel much better, you know what I mean?
I am trying too hard to satisfy him, I just want him to be happy. Just like now I'm trying to find ways to show 'affection' to him, to HIS style of affection, the "Physical touch" way. Again, I'm Frustrated! Argg!
The issue: Sure, I know he was affectionate, but when we were dating, it was once in a while thing. Now is like EVERYDAY, whenever he have the chance, whenever he home. I guess alot of affection washing all over me at once, I'm overwhelmed, I'm just NOT used to it.
Alright, another round of talk to hubby when he get home from work tonight.
OP the book you are talking about is meant to let each of you know what they like so you better understand each other .
It is no matter if they are the same or different . Just a way to understand each other.
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