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He is 35 y.o. and "trying hard" to commit? Just wait - he will be 65 y.o. and still "trying"...
Obviously he is not so wonderful as you think: your visa expires in 8 months, and you have to return to your country of origin, and he has no intention whatsoever in helping you out with this.
He wants to leave this country, but without you. Wait 8 months and see what happens to you.
^^^ This just completely contradict what you said about him in your last post...
He is not serious about you. You are there for his pleasure, and nothing more.
Move on before its too late.
tick tock is the commonly used expression for a clock.
But unfortunately, your second post doesn't change my opinion. If he was committed to you, he'd commit and not be uncertain or "phobic." I can't tell you how many times I've seen it - a man loses his commitmentphobia when he meets the right woman, including a woman who refuses to accept that treatment.
You said he is 35, not sure how old you are, but if you are close to that same age and want to get married and have a family, then yes, it's tick tock for your biological clock in terms of being able to get pregnant. Don't throw that away on someone who isn't prepared to commit to a future with you.
I'm not sure what he has to keep "trying" at. If he wanted to spend his life with you, he'd be trying to make a decision to marry you and stay in the country, or decide on what country you are going to move to, together.
It's easy to chalk things up to being a commitment phobe, only wanting sex, etc., but usually the truth in these matters is they just don't want that commitment, in this case, with you.
I know it's a tough spot to be in, but I'd cut him loose and find a guy who feels the same way about you.
I have a close friend that dated a woman for five years, never asked her to marry him and everyone called him a commitment phobe. Well, she broke up with him and six months later he met a new woman, married her six months after that and ten years later they're still happily married with two kids. So much for being afraid of committment!
This is REALLY tough and I feel for you, OP. It sounds like he thinks a lot of you and really cares about you...but whether he has issues with committing or you're just not the woman for him it doesn't sound like you guys are on the same page. I totally get it - you really love him and you guys have a great time together. It's hard to walk away.
What if you just took a few steps back to take some space for yourself and think things over? You have your own place, right? Stay there. Take some time for yourself and think about what your future looks like. I know I would be really hurt if I was dating someone for two years and they were about to move to a foreign country with zero consideration of me and our relationship. You're staying with him all the time, but continuing to pay rent for a place you never use? What kind of weird hang up does this guy have he hasn't invited you to move in with him?
If I had been a few months, maybe even a year I would say cut him some slack, but at 2 years and he's 35 years old...it's time to crap or get off the pot so to speak.
hahahahah thats hysterical (the tic tack comment) Isnt it he sound of a ticking clock?. Im hearing all replies here. Still thoughtful
He has done everything to be the best with me, he has traveled 3 times to my far away country to be with my parents, I have been 4 times in his country to visit his family. He is reluctant to break up, and says he wants to try more, and harder, because he doesnt think he could find a better partner than me.
He treats me SO INCREDIBLY GOOD, and makes me feel I'm his priority in his life, over friends, over work over family, he stays days and stops going out with his friends to help me out in a project I need, he is travelling a 6 hours flight to go with me to a big exam I have so Im not alone.
Anyway this is why is not that simple just, ok break up.
He has a phobia to commitment, but that doesnt stop him to be the most wonderful man with me in the.... present...
And thats why is so hard for me to leave him. And he says he doesnt want to break up but continue trying.But he is uncertain about our future.
Weird isnt it?
Ok.... I hope this brings up another comments.
Stop fishing for reason that he wants to commit with you.
He's telling you want you want to hear to keep you around so he has someone to sleep with. I'm sorry OP, you're delusional if you think he's actually serious about you.
I'm not sure what exactly you want him to do in terms of your Visa paperwork... Christ, my boyfriend asked me to fill out something for him pertaining to a hunting license and I was like "hell no, I ain't doin' no forms for you..." Seriously bureaucratic stuff sucks the big one.
But as far as your relationship goes, he sounds like Van Wilder and that is not necessarily a redeeming quality for a grown adult male. End it, you'll be better off.
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Re:"I hope this brings up another comments."
