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what got me discouraged was reading the city data forum and i believe i read too many negative comments on being married and got me thinking... you know? i was just saying that people claim to love each other but in most cases its not so... i know there is no certain guideline on love but there is a concept and i thank you for your intake
Well, don't let what you read get you discouraged about marriage, girleylips...it's just that sometimes things work out, sometimes they don't. You need to let yourself be guided by your own thoughts rather than someone else's actions, especially if you are looking for examples of happier, better relationships...like maybe some that are in your life. I looked to my mom and grandmother for my examples of good married women. My grandmother has been married for 55 years this year...to the same man and they still have their issues but love each other. It took my mom 2 marriages before she knew what she wanted then she found my stepfather and they have been married for 20 years now...I like CD, quite a bit, and I shake my head at the ones who are having a hard time and I wish them luck but I also clap my hands at the couples who are doing just fine...it'll happen for you...you just never know.
Well, don't let what you read get you discouraged about marriage, girleylips...it's just that sometimes things work out, sometimes they don't. You need to let yourself be guided by your own thoughts rather than someone else's actions, especially if you are looking for examples of happier, better relationships...like maybe some that are in your life. I looked to my mom and grandmother for my examples of good married women. My grandmother has been married for 55 years this year...to the same man and they still have their issues but love each other. It took my mom 2 marriages before she knew what she wanted then she found my stepfather and they have been married for 20 years now...I like CD, quite a bit, and I shake my head at the ones who are having a hard time and I wish them luck but I also clap my hands at the couples who are doing just fine...it'll happen for you...you just never know.
thank you eyhossenlopp...for your kind words of wisdom and for the advice you share on here...i can see that's its spoken from a true kind hearted loving wife that loves her husband dearly i honestly can tell the difference when people post on here if they are happy or not in thier relationships....i mean not EVERYTIME but you understand the style of writing more and more.....yes i should start looking towards my parent's marriage more because they really do love each other...
to tell you the truth , i really do enjoy my single life right now...i am not lonely or anything like that .... i know i can have a boyfriend tomorrow if i wanted to but i want to know that i will love him till death do us part and not have regrets...i don't want to get married just to get married...i will trust your advice and follow it....i trust that i will know whaen the RIGHT guy comes along...you are a livng example for me thank for making my day and sharing your precious time with me
I think that when you find the right one...you will just know. Hubby and I were just in the beginnings of dating and we were walking through a dept. store and looking at the housewares. Without even realizing it we are picking out pots and pans and things for OUR home. Yes you will have infatuation but there will also be that underlying friendship. Hubby and I can talk about anything. First date we went on we didn't go dancing or movies, we went to a restaurant and talked and talked and talked. When the date was over it was if we had known each other forever (well as much as forever as 19 and 20 years old can think of as forever). Over the years we have grown together as a couple. As I said not everyone is like this but I hope it gives you hope that it can be found.
Wow, your story is a lot like ours! We were about the same ages. He'd dated a little but never had a "real" girlfriend, he's very shy before he gets to know somebody well. I met him at a festival at our college. I liked him right away, but didn't think much of it as he didn't talk to me much (not for a lack of trying on my part ) so I was absolutely shocked when he called and asked me out the very next day. He continued to break "the rules" and told me he loved me after 3 weeks of dating. I wasn't totally sure yet, but very infatuated. I know it wasn't very long after that that we knew we'd be married. We ended up living together for 4 years before we took the plunge though, so there were no unpleasant surprises after the wedding!
I asked him later how such a shy guy was able to be so frank with me. I thought it was strange that he'd never had a girlfriend since I later knew that at least 3 girls in what became our circle of friends had been chasing him at the time, and he said "you were the first girl I ever felt comfortable talking to."
I would marry my husband again in a minute. We've been married 9 years and have had some ups and downs, but we love each other and are best friends. He still makes me laugh a lot which is very important to me.
I was 34 when we met and 36 when we married. I had a good education and a good job and had bought a house. An acquaintance used to tell me "you can't be too picky" and I would think, "why not?" I'm glad I was. I can't imagine being married to any of the other "possibilities" that came before him.
I would marry my husband again in a minute. We've been married 9 years and have had some ups and downs, but we love each other and are best friends. He still makes me laugh a lot which is very important to me.
I was 34 when we met and 36 when we married. I had a good education and a good job and had bought a house. An acquaintance used to tell me "you can't be too picky" and I would think, "why not?" I'm glad I was. I can't imagine being married to any of the other "possibilities" that came before him.
i am glad you waited as well Marlow brings me so much joy
thank you for answering my question was it love when you first married? why did it die down? sorry not trying to be nosey...just trying to understand...you don't have to answer back if you don't want to
It was love, and we thought we knew each other inside and out. He changed dramatically after we got married. Due to the normal stress of having a family. I got pregnant 1 month before we got married and already had one child. so it was a little to much for him to handle and I was going through the typical pregnant hormonal thing and then ended up with a little dose of postpartum. So basically I still hold a lot of resentment and anger with him changing and wanting me to change (which I shouldnt) and he is all about the future (which he should be). Which as much as we try not to let it, ends up causing issues in the "love dept". I respect him and care for him deeply which is why I am still here. Lots of people tell me the "in love" feeling comes and gos throughout the years. Which is why I am holding out. I dont want to be another statistic just because I feel he "doesnt love me enough". I really think when you meet the right person you'll know it. Just dont jump in to fast.
It was love, and we thought we knew each other inside and out. He changed dramatically after we got married. Due to the normal stress of having a family. I got pregnant 1 month before we got married and already had one child. so it was a little to much for him to handle and I was going through the typical pregnant hormonal thing and then ended up with a little dose of postpartum. So basically I still hold a lot of resentment and anger with him changing and wanting me to change (which I shouldnt) and he is all about the future (which he should be). Which as much as we try not to let it, ends up causing issues in the "love dept". I respect him and care for him deeply which is why I am still here. Lots of people tell me the "in love" feeling comes and gos throughout the years. Which is why I am holding out. I dont want to be another statistic just because I feel he "doesnt love me enough". I really think when you meet the right person you'll know it. Just dont jump in to fast.
pretty good answer i respect that...wish he was more understanding with you
though
thank you for your response
thank for making my day and sharing your precious time with me
Anytime...I just wish some people were as happy as me...and it takes a lot to remember that but it's worth it every time. Hope you have a wonderful day...
Anytime...I just wish some people were as happy as me...and it takes a lot to remember that but it's worth it every time. Hope you have a wonderful day...
you to i wish you an eternity of happiness with your husband..thank you again for all your help..i appreciate it
My husband and i met at a bar, it was the first time in a long time since i had been to that particular bar. It was his first time there. At the time i had given up on meeting Mr. Right,but it was a neighbor's birthday and she begged me to go with her.That was the night i met my dear husband,neither of us ever visited the bar again, so i would say it was meant. We met October of 2002, moved in together December of 2002, i became pregnant February of 2003,we married February 14,2004, had another daughter October 2004, and also have a 1 year old, and last but never least i had three sons before he met me, which are now 16, 13, and 7 years old. We have a wonderful marriage and friendship.
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) so I was absolutely shocked when he called and asked me out the very next day. He continued to break "the rules" and told me he loved me after 3 weeks of dating. I wasn't totally sure yet, but very infatuated. I know it wasn't very long after that that we knew we'd be married. We ended up living together for 4 years before we took the plunge though, so there were no unpleasant surprises after the wedding! 
Yes, its possible to be married and in love.
