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My gf who i live with, is spending this weekend at her friend in a near town. On her way there, she called to ask if it was okay for me, if she went and drank coffee with a ex lover of hers or i think she said a dude she had something going with a few years ago. I said it was weird and that i know nothing about who that is, but that it was up to her and not my decision.
Texted her after and said it would be weird if i did that with a ex etc, but if it wasnt weird for her it was cool, that i trust her and she should hang with whomever she want.
Now i wonder, is this something that is okay or not? I dont see a big problem with it, but i know it would be awkward for me to do so. Unless i had kids with that "ex" or bumped it to her with friends and so on.
She was honest with you and you were honest with her, I don't see anything wrong with the situation at all. She could have just not told you at all but she was considerate enough to ask if you were ok with it. I think that says a lot about her intentions.
She was honest with you and you were honest with her, I don't see anything wrong with the situation at all. She could have just not told you at all but she was considerate enough to ask if you were ok with it. I think that says a lot about her intentions.
I suppose you are probably right, if she was going on the down low, you'd have to wonder. I personally don't get jealous too much, but you never know, that's how people end up cheating, not saying that the OP gf is going to do that, just saying.
I find too that if you don't put yourself in positions to test yourself.
Most of my FB friends are women that I've had some varying relationships with. I find that when I interact with them, which isn't often, that I make a point of saying "we" a lot or making other references to Mrs. Chow. Just keeps things simple.
I'm not sure who said this, maybe CPG, anyway, he said that he interacts with women as if his wife was standing next to him.
Not a bad way to be, keeps things on the up and up. I have had women check me out right in front of mrs. chow and it's sort of uncomfortable. Course that was back when I was young and pretty.....
I don't see it as a big deal. I talk to a couple exes and a couple people that I've previously hooked up with, same thing for my spouse. I'm not forcing him to be with me, but he chose me and committed to me so if he wanted to be with them, he should have stayed with them in the first place. If anything inappropriate went down, I'd find out about it but I'm truly never worried about it and feel like if I were, there'd be no point in continuing on because trust would be gone.
The fact that she brought it up IS good, unless she's an incredible liar and set this all up to make you think nothing is going on.
It obviously bothered you, and I personally don't think it's a good decision in her part ***depending on the context of their relationship and breakup.***
If their breakup was final and not really dramatic, it's probably fine. Did he call her, or did she seek him out?
You aren't wrong to feel weird about it, but don't go into freak out mode.
The fact this is a planned event is of concern to me OP. She should have been smarter to not put you in this situation. If he is an ex it is for a reason yeah? Best leave it alone.
I'm starting to wonder if women are becoming increasingly dissatisfied with men that don't want to take charge and say something like, You're mine and I'm not sharing you with anyone. It could be partly because so many men are reluctant to chase the woman down, and push for marriage. I would think that there are a lot of women who would find that romantic. I would advise the OP to actually strongly object to any such meeting, and tell her you are not sharing her with anyone.
As we've gone along in years I've become a little more assertive as head of the house, and she seems to like it. But along with that has come a greater concern on my part for her health and happiness, as it should be because she is mine.
I'm starting to wonder if women are becoming increasingly dissatisfied with men that don't want to take charge and say something like, You're mine and I'm not sharing you with anyone. It could be partly because so many men are reluctant to chase the woman down, and push for marriage. I would think that there are a lot of women who would find that romantic. I would advise the OP to actually strongly object to any such meeting, and tell her you are not sharing her with anyone.
As we've gone along in years I've become a little more assertive as head of the house, and she seems to like it. But along with that has come a greater concern on my part for her health and happiness, as it should be because she is mine.
This entire attitude just sounds down right unhealthy. So two people in a relationship should just assume noone else in the world exist and noone has a past? First of all, I don't see how having coffee with an ex means anyone is being shared.
My gf who i live with, is spending this weekend at her friend in a near town. On her way there, she called to ask if it was okay for me, if she went and drank coffee with a ex lover of hers or i think she said a dude she had something going with a few years ago. I said it was weird and that i know nothing about who that is, but that it was up to her and not my decision.
Texted her after and said it would be weird if i did that with a ex etc, but if it wasnt weird for her it was cool, that i trust her and she should hang with whomever she want.
Now i wonder, is this something that is okay or not? I dont see a big problem with it, but i know it would be awkward for me to do so. Unless i had kids with that "ex" or bumped it to her with friends and so on.
He is an old boyfriend that she wants to visit with, so what.
Believe it or not your behavior shows your insecurities and she really needs to get over "asking your permission" to do something she wants to do.
Also, if you didn't see a big problem with this situation you would have never started a thread asking random strangers if they see it as a problem.
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