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Yesterday I had a first date with a girl from my university, we went for coffee and spent 4 hours together. The conversation flowed smoothly and we talked about our lives, our likes, our families, music, sports, everything. I really liked this girl. At the end of the date I told her that we could see each other this next week and I told her when she was free and she told me that any day of the week except wednesday or thursday. So I told her that if she would like to go to a concert with me on tuesday and she told me she would get in contact with me because she was not sure if she had a concert that day. I was thinking in not texting her after a few days but I stopped playing games and texted a few hours later saying I had a great time and that I hop that she could come with me on tuesday and if she can't that we can see each other on the weekend. And she replies: Yeah, I ll tell you if I can go to the concert with you on tuesday, if my work schedule doesn't change I can't see you on the weekend.
What confuses me is that she spent 4 hours with me and i thought we had a good time, then at the end of the date I told her when she was free to see each other again and she told me any day except wednesday or thursday and then when I set up a date for the concert on tuesday she acts kind of flakey saying she will get back in touch with me because she has a concert and she wasn't sure if it was on tuesday or wednesday and when I texted her saying I had a good time and that if she can't come on tuesday we could see each other on the weekend, when she replied she didn't mentioned anything about having a good time, she just said that she would get in touch to tell me if she can go on tuesday and that on the weekend she could not see me if her work schedule doesn't change when in the first place she told me she was free all days except wednesday and thursday. Whats the deal here or maybe she wasn't into me that much in the first place but why would she spent 4 hours with me if she wasn't interested. What should I do now, any tips?. thanks!!
Do you think I should have waited a day or more to text her after the first date and should I have waited 2 or more days before setting the second date instead of doing it at the end of the first date?. Would this make a difference or it is just stupid mind games?. Did I acted cling or too eager and thats why she is acting flakey?
I don't think head games are ever a good thing so textng her was fine.
My guesses:
1)She wasn't all that into you
2)She has a boyfriend and is trying to sneak behind his back.
But why would she spend 4 hours with me?, that is a little confusing haha.
Did I looked clingy or eager when I asked for a second date at the end of the first date?. She said she was free everyday except wednesday and thursday so I tried to setup a date on tuesday and then she acts flakey and says she would contact me to confirm :s
Maybe she's busy. She said she would let you know.
If she doesn't contact me to confirm our tuesday date I think it means she is not interested. If she contacts me and tells that she is busy on tuesday would it be a good idea to tell her if she is free on another day so we can see each other?. If she doesn't contact me would it be a good idea to contact her again in a few days or it is just a waste of time?. Thanks
Do you understand that people do have other responsibilities besides sitting around waiting for you to contact them so the can spend every waking moment with you?
One date, 4 hours and a possible concert does not give you the right to question why she has said and done what she has said and done.
Your "I need instant gratification and she needs to do what I think she needs to do" attitude is going to make your life in general miserable and your dating life even worse.
I think you should ask out another girl, and stop thinking about this one. It sounds like you may be overthinking this a bit, sometimes that happens. Let go a little here and go with the flow.
One can easily spend 4 hours with a new person and not be interested in them romantically. Think of how much time you spend with friends.
BTW--I'm not sure if you are a native English speaker/writer, but one thing about your post stood out to me. It is the use of the word "told." You "told" her this and "told" her that. At the age I am guessing you and this girl are, young men didn't "tell" me anything. They "asked." If you truly "told" her rather than "asked" her, that would be a "no go" for me as a young woman.
I don't think anything you have said that you did seemed too clingy or needy. If you continue to text her now, it may be perceived that way to her though. The ball is in her court now. She said she would let you know and I would let her make the next move. If she doesn't, move on. I wouldn't look at it as four hours of wasted time and try to guess what is going on in her mind. There are so many people (some who have posted on here) who have invested several months, years, decades with someone and everything was going just fine, then the other person lost interest. If she knew after meeting with you that she did not want to see you again it is a shame that she didn't just tell you upfront, "You know, I had a good time with you and you are a great guy, however I just cannot see you anymore." Easier said than done, and I think it is easier for people just to avoid that step because they don't want to hurt another person's feelings.
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