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Old 03-09-2015, 11:33 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
29,739 posts, read 34,362,964 times
Reputation: 77044

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdroplet76 View Post
Then you simply aren't dating the right people. I'm not saying that it's your fault for going out with them - I'm saying that you got to know that they weren't the right people for you to be getting to know. Dating IS fun with the right person. Stop spending money. Meet them for a walk in the park, a cup of coffee, a stroll through the farmer's market, etc. It's about getting to know the person - not about spending money on them. Also, get to know people through other venues, if at all possible. Then, when you find someone you click with - dating won't be quite as stressful since you'll already be a little bit comfortable with them.
And also, don't get ahead of yourself and invest too much headspace in someone you don't know that well. It's one date. It doesn't mean you have a girlfriend or you're in a relationship. Sure, look forward to it. Be a little excited and nervous. If you have a good time, you go on another date. If you don't, you say "it was nice to meet you" and go your separate ways. A lack of interest isn't a rejection or a waste of time. You just didn't click. It's not unusual. There's nothing wrong with you or with her.

Last edited by fleetiebelle; 03-09-2015 at 11:57 AM..
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Old 03-09-2015, 11:37 AM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,935,179 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
And also, don't get ahead of yourself and invest too much headspace in someone you don't know that well. It's one date. It doesn't mean you have a girlfriend or you're in a relationship. If you have a good time, you go on another date. If you don't, you say "it was nice to meet you" and go your separate ways. A lack of interest isn't a betrayal or a waste of time. You just didn't click. It's not unusual. There's nothing wrong with you or with her.

Yeah, it sounds like people are still getting emotionally invested in people they don't know, or the idea of a relationship with someone they don't know.

Bad move.

It's one reason I really recommend with OLD people just do a few emails and meet. There is no chance for emotional investment with a dream, which is all it is.
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Old 03-09-2015, 11:56 AM
 
4,829 posts, read 4,282,241 times
Reputation: 4766
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
Yeah, it sounds like people are still getting emotionally invested in people they don't know, or the idea of a relationship with someone they don't know.

Bad move.

It's one reason I really recommend with OLD people just do a few emails and meet. There is no chance for emotional investment with a dream, which is all it is.

Very true. I try and keep the same motto. The sooner you meet, the better is my motto.
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